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Writer's Block - JAN.07.08

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Mike Macri

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<table border=0 align=center width=90%><tr><td><img src=http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2007/09/macri_headshot.jpg border=0 align=left vspace=1 hspace=4>Back in my highschool creative writing class, I used to think that a perfectly acceptable solution to writer’s block was to spin a delightfully witty yarn about a guy with writer’s block. Surely the clever deconstruction of the fourth wall would amuse my teacher into showering me with red-ink A ++’s. In retrospect, I like to think that my particular brand of meta-writing sailed right over my teacher’s head, as I ended up barely passing the class. Unfortunately, I’m fairly sure that no one here will be too interested in a ripping tale about a guy who can’t come up with anything to write about.

After recently starting and giving up on several topics including the possibility of a monkey one day making the NHL, I began to think about a couple of unanswered questions that have been dogging me for a while now.

Chief among them, has anyone ever actually won the Safeway Score & Win contest? Sure, I’ve seen the names announced after every Canuck goal scored on a Sportsnet broadcast, but I have yet to see a single one that I have recognized. Now, I don’t have anything that you might call “evidence,” but I’m starting to think that the Score & Win people (if they even exist...how deep does this go?) are making up names as they go along. Are they hoarding the prizes for themselves? I can’t say for sure, but I once saw a guy playing with a set of Jazz golf clubs, and he had those real shifty, suspicious eyes. I’ve been looking for the tape for a few years now, but I swear that there was once a winner named “Winnie McContest.”

<a href=http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2007/11/mcdonalds_lineUp_contest_thumb.gif target=_blank><img src=http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2007/11/mcdonalds_lineUp_contest_thumb.gif border=0 align=right vspace=1 hspace=4></a>

In a related topic, I’ve always wondered about how the winners of the McDonald’s Power Play contest felt about having their order announced over the radio. I mean, it’s not like they were buying Dostoevsky first editions - everyone knows that Randy Flagstone from Chilliwack recently enjoyed a buffet of sadness. I thought that in the interest of scholarly research, I’d enter the Power Play contest. Much to my surprise, my entry was not dependent upon the purchase of a McDonald’s burger. Instead, I was simply asked what my favourite McDonald’s product might be. Evidently, when John Shorthouse announces that Donna Hoffningle won with the purchase of a Big Mac stuffed with a McFishwich, the “purchase” in question is completely fabricated. Does McDonald’s, an almost omnipresent restaurant chain, really need to invent these transactions? Are they adding them to the “Billions Served” total? Just something to think about.

If, for some unknown reason, you’re still reading this, you’re probably wondering when, or if, I might start talking about hockey in what, ostensibly, is a blog devoted to the subject. Well get your eyeballs prepped, because here it comes...

<a href=http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2008/01/164_hrs_thumb.jpg target=_blank><img src=http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2008/01/164_hrs_thumb.jpg border=0 align=left vspace=1 hspace=4></a>With the Winter Classic recently taking place in Buffalo, it reminded me of an idea that was being batted around a couple years ago in Vancouver. While no one would be dense enough to suggest that an outdoor game would be possible in the bucket of depression known as a Vancouver winter, there was talk about holding a game in the confines of BC Place. While I’m sure it would be a success of some magnitude, does anyone actually think that the move across the street would benefit the game in any way? I’m sure the fan in Buffalo sitting in Seat 7, Row 836, thought that the novelty of seeing professional hockey players on an outdoor rink was worth sitting 8.3 miles away from the action, but given the opportunity, he’d probably appreciate the chance to be able to positively identify that amorphous blob as being Sidney Crosby. Remove the atmosphere and, really, the “Winter” from the Winter Classic, and you’re left with a game at BC Place. While the increased capacity could definitely benefit the fans who aren’t normally able to get tickets to the always sold-out games at GM Place, I somehow doubt that the “magic” of seeing Crosby score a shootout goal in a snow storm could be properly recreated inside the concrete-grey BC Place.

So I guess I managed to muddle through a little case of writer’s block after all. Just goes to show you, a little bit of ingenuity paired with some elbow grease goes a long way, both in blogging and in life. Consider this entry as an example of the triumph of the human spirit. You’re welcome.

Next week: Hey, what would it be like if monkeys played in the NHL?

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My mom won a trip to Cuba from Safeway Score and Win a few years ago. Sure beats winning a 500 piece drill bit set (when they used to give those away) or a new vacuum.

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My mom won a trip to Cuba from Safeway Score and Win a few years ago. Sure beats winning a 500 piece drill bit set (when they used to give those away) or a new vacuum.

HUNTER WANNABE...OK JOB THOUGH MAHALO

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