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Juice/Guzzler and the Anaheim Puzzler

Keslerific

Entry posted by Keslerific

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Reblogged from: https://narwhalhockey.wordpress.com

Hint: There’s no puzzle, that was just to lure you in, and it rhymed. Anyways…

Look out Anaheim, California!

Or shall we say, look out National Hockey League. GOOD friends Ryan Kesler and Kevin Bieksa have been reunited in Anaheim and are poised to have a strong season. Adding these two players to the team gives The Ducks two more players. In doing so, The Ducks have also made themselves immune to things such as smaller/inferior NHLers, Michael Ferkland, playoff losses to Nashville/San Jose, and guys who don’t play like bastards.

The main thing these guys bring to the Ducks team is personality. If these two improve anything on the team it will be interviews, because guys like Getzlaf and Perry just don’t compare off the ice. Like, they just don’t have a chance, they suck in comparison, Kesler and Bieksa have so much personality that they could even have their own show. I’ve said enough, and Kesler actually already has his own show so I’m totally right on this.

Although they make the Ducks better on and off the ice by bringing their hard working spirit and personalities to the team, they also bring other things like Kesler bombs and milk hotdogs which can make any team THAT much better.
I really feel like if there is anything that’s gonna take that team to the next level, It’s gonna be the Kesler bombs. Every player that get’s Kesler bombed becomes a better player/person afterwards. It worked with Raffi Torres, after being Kesler bombed he put up more points and never dressed up like Jay Z again. Torres was actually in Arizona when he did that, but still, it probably would have been something even worse had he not been Kesler bombed the year before. Kes is a hero, really.

So if Perry or Getzlaf get Kesler bombed who knows what can happen? the thought of them getting better via Kesler Bomb is a scary one. They have the potential to be a very dangerous pairing next year if this happens, more dangerous than putting Luca Sbisa in for a 5 on 3 Penalty kill. But enough about those guys. The big thing here is, on one hand you have #17 Kesler, and then when you add #3 Bieksa into the equation, you get 20. I don’t know where I was going with that, but I’m gonna keep it in because it completes this paragraph.

bieksa_b.jpg
(Just imagine they’re both in Ducks uniforms, I don’t have photoshop)

It’s a Vancouver reunion of sorts, okay it’s a total Vancouver reunion, as Kesler and Bieksa form the Mighty Nucks of Vanaheim (Has that been used before? probably, that also should of been the title) So good luck to the Mighty Nucks, if you guys get a cup we can win and celebrate vicariously through you, if you make the finals and lose in game 7 we riot, vicariously, via GTA. Unless by lose in game 7 finals we mean conference finals and it’s vs the Canucks, in which case we celebrate our victory for real, and trip on confetti.

Shane O’Brien is also joining them.

But he’s clearly not as entertaining, and only get’s this one sentence.

I like Kesler.

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oldnews

"Adding these two players to the team gives The Ducks two more players."

"The big thing here is, on one hand you have #17 Kesler, and then when you add #3 Bieksa into the equation, you get 20. I don’t know where I was going with that..."

Add the two to the two, and the 3 to the 17, and what do you get?

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