<table width=90% align=center><tr><td><img src=http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2007/09/bear_head.jpg border=0 align=left vspace=1 hspace=4>My apologies for not writing sooner, but I was in China on a school workshop. My experience was a very profound one; I learned a great deal about Chinese culture, Chinese education, and Chinese society.

One thing I was particularly surprised by was the apparent lack of religion in the country, especially when compared to her neighbors such as India, South East Asia, and Japan.

Of course, that got me thinking about Canada, and our great religion: Hockey. There is no other element in this diverse country of ours that unites us the same way hockey does. There is no holy grail in Canada other than the Stanley Cup. Similarly, the church of our great sport takes place wherever children and adults alike can find some sticks, a ball, and a couple of net-like creations. Hockey is truly a great sport, but it can also be a cruel sport as well.

If hockey is a religion, then it stands to reason that there must be hockey gods. My fellow blogger, Mike Macri, wrote an excellent blog earlier in the season about hockey gods. I feel that this year the hockey gods have unduly punished Vancouver and the only way we can appease them is through these 10 ways.

<a href="http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2008/03/03122008_ducks05_b.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2008/03/03122008_ducks05_t.JPG" align="right" border="0" hspace="4" vspace="1"></a>1) Religious sacrifice.

This is a practice that has taken place for millennia in a variety of civilizations including the Greeks, Mayans, Aztecs, and Zulus. Typically the things sacrificed are animals, but occasionally they are humans as well. In hockey, I recommend we combine the two and sacrifice Chris Pronger. He looks like a donkey, he stomps like a donkey, and he has the common sense of a donkey. The gods will be happy with that choice.

2) Pray at the alter.

Find a beer fridge, any beer fridge that has Molson Canadian or Labatt Blue in it. Ask the beer to help our beloved Canucks. Drink the beer. Be happy. How can you go wrong? If there is an "elixir of life" for Canadians, beer is it.

3) Make a pilgramidge.

Muslim's go to Mecca, not because it is the nicest part of the world, but because it was there that Islam had its start. We need to go to the Pacific Coliseum. Sit in the seats and watch a giant's game. Who knows, the ghosts of Kirk McLean, Trevor Linden, and Pavel Bure circa 1994 might just come back to help us now.

4) Sing a Hymn.

Write a song for the Canucks, bring it to a game, teach your fellow fans the song, and serenade our team. I love that element of soccer in Europe, why not start it here?

5) Be kind to your neighbors.

Pity the fan from Toronto; they are ignorant and suffering. Show them the path to nirvana lies in the mountains of British Columbia and on the Ice at GM place.

<a href="http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2007/12/dec3107_flames09_b.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2007/12/dec3107_flames09_t.jpg" align="left" border="0" hspace="4" vspace="1"></a>6) Slay the evil beast.

This one is easy. Beat Calgary, and beat Dion Phanuef into the ground. I like how our road to the playoffs goes through Calgary. There is no team I like beating more.

7) Go to Church.

Get out there and play some hockey people! Pretend you are Naslund coming in on a breakaway, and score! Have you and your buddy be the Sedins, and cycle the puck/ball. If nothing else it'll get you in shape. Who knows, maybe your positive energy will pay off!

8) Take the sacrament.

Order pizza and have beer on game nights (not too much of either mind you), and have friends over to watch the game. The more the merrier. And remember, positive energy people.

9) Be faithful to your partner.

In this case, it is the Canucks. Do not give up on them ever. Even when it looks hopeless believe. Only through faith will we be redeemed.

10) Celebrate the birth of our savior.

Christians call it Christmas, I call it Luongmas. The guy is a hockey god himself. Luongo has come to save this franchise, and I believe he will. Just imagine how focused he is going to be now that he has a beautiful and healthy baby?

I said earlier in the year that once this team got healthy we would make a push for the playoffs. We got sort of healthy, got some wins, and the hockey gods punished us again. Follow my 10 steps and we will surely be in the playoffs.

Have any other great ideas? Post them below and I will be sure to follow them. Go Canucks!

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