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Optimist Prime - 10.30.2009

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Optimist_Prime

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<table border=0 width=1000 align=center><tr><td><img src="http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2009/10/oct0209_optimist_blog.jpg" border=0 style="float: left; margin-right: 8px;">If you're a nerd like I am, you love Mythbusters.

If you're a nerd like I am, you love Mythbusters and you know that it's possible to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiJ9fy1qSFI.

With all the injuries the Vancouver Canucks are being forced to play through right now, finding the silver lining in the team's outlook for the next few weeks is exactly like polishing a turd.

Hand me some gloves, this is about to get messy.

<img src="http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2009/10/Equis.jpg" border="0" alt="" hspace="4" vspace="1" align="right" />

The outlook is bleak, I can't deny that. As of Friday morning Vancouver's injury report was home to Roberto Luongo, Daniel Sedin, Ryan Johnson, Kyle Wellwood, Alex Bolduc, Jannik Hansen and Pavol Demitra. (Rick Rypien and Sami Salo were removed on Thursday)

Losing Luongo is the movie equivalent of when Wilson fell of the raft and floated away; proof is in how Mike Gillis and Alain Vigneault reacted to the news.

According to his Facebook status, Mike Gillis is Yo hockizzle gods, WTF-izzle?

Ditto for AV. Alain Vigneault is sacré bleu! Qu'est-ce que c'est? Déjà vu! Zut alors…À la mode.

Meanwhile, a quick check of Andrew Raycroft's page and it's clear he's excited for the opportunity to tend twine for the Canucks with Luongo on the shelf.

Andrew R is living vicariously through himself.

Those last four words alone convinced me that Raycroft belongs alongside Dos Equis' Most Interesting Man in the World and not because they can both speak French, in Russian.

Raycroft was a little like Hulk Hogan's real name at the outset of the season (doesn't get used much but is there if you need it), a rib injury later and he's front and centre for the Canucks.

<img src="http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2009/10/Raycroft.jpg" border="0" alt="" hspace="4" vspace="1" align="Left" />Are we to blindly throw our puck-stopping faith in a former Toronto Maple Leafs backup we know nothing about?

But after doing some digging, which includes discovering that Raycroft leads the ENTIRE NHL with a 1.03 GAA and .958 save percentage, I'm ready to jump on board the RayRay train (woo woo!) – this guy is a potential diamond in the rough.

Raycroft needs some remodeling though. First off, no more Rayzor as a nickname, the story behind it is about as lame as him being name a http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOgIpsGbZKQ, even if he's won a Calder Trophy under that moniker.

Let's brand him Everyday. It's punchy like Adrian Peterson's All Day, but with Luongo out for the time being, we need something that provides lasting confidence to both him and us. Andrew "Everyday" Raycroft it is, or just "Everydaycroft."

Everyday needs some personality revamping as well. Luongo has his death stare and Christian Bale intensity, whereas Raycroft is like the neighbor that mows your lawn and organizes your mail alphabetically while you're on vacation. Although it pains me to say it, nice guys finish last.

<img src="http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2009/10/Drama.jpg" border="0" alt="" hspace="4" vspace="1" align="right" />Everyday needs to lose the Mr. Rogers and channel his inner Johnny Drama, what with his eccentric personality and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIeWjLC_SB0.

I'm optimistic that like the girl on the bus the other day that had mitts on so she used her nose to control her iPod touch, with these changes Everydaycroft will soon be the talk of the town. He's off to a solid start already, he didn't even have to take a Sharpie to his face and he robbed the LA Kings blind.

Oh, and it's Terry Gene Bollea. The Hulkster's real name is Terry Gene Bollea. Go figure.

Who is Optimist Prime? He's an eternal Canucks believer whose glass is always half full, even when it's empty.

Throughout the 2009-10 season, Optimist will take a lighthearted look at the Canucks while never losing the faith. It's Cup time baby!

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You sir, are an impostor, and as such, I have been 'forced' to make and create in a blog of my own, entitled The Real Optimist Prime's Blog.

I sincerely hope you change your nom de plume to something more fitting like IStoleThisName2. Good day.

I said good day.

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