kookalafoo

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  1. FLORIDA – In what police are calling one of the most daring examples of auto theft in recent memory, Vancouver Canucks General Manager, Mike Gillis, was arrested early Monday morning after breaking into Dale Tallon’s 1987 Volkswagen Golf. The Florida Panthers General Manager reported the break-in to local Miami authorities at approximately 7pm EST on Saturday. According to the police report filed later that night, the rear passenger window was completely smashed in. Tallon told police that the burglar had taken several items that were left in the car, including a GPS system, David Booth, and about five dollars in change. “I knew something was immediately missing when I got back to my car and saw the damage,” Tallon told reporters. “I guess I kind of am asking for it when I leave David Booth just sitting there on the dashboard.” Police scoured the scene for evidence, and were able to get a lead on Gillis after finding a pile of garbage nearby with the Canucks logo on it. Forensic investigators later identified the trash as being Mikael Samuelsson and Marco Sturm. Miami police chief Sam Levenstein held a press conference this morning at 10am, and it was there that it was announced that Mike Gillis had been apprehended. “We were fortunate that Gillis was sloppy in the execution of his crime. This was one of the most obvious examples of robbery in quite some time. And I mean, to leave Sturm and Samuelsson behind? We really didn’t have to work too hard on this one.” Dale Tallon has a history of leaving his car parked in shady parking lots, and leaving valuables there for the taking. “I really have a bad memory when it comes to these kind of things,” Tallon told reporters. “Actually, I forgot to even lock the doors when I parked the car. Gillis didn’t need to bash in the window, he could have just opened the door and taken David Booth.” At the end of the police press conference, chief Levenstein had a stern warning for the citizens of Florida. “This state has one of the worst crime rates in the country. We cannot be too careful with where we park our cars, and what sort of valuables we leave behind in there. There are countless examples of devastating car break-ins over the years – I don’t have to remind you all of the Luongo fleecing of 2006, the Horton theft of 2010, and we don’t even know the damage of the Frolik robbery of last year.” Police have been unable to recover Booth, and it is expected that he will be welcomed as a member of the Vancouver Canucks. (Photo Credit: Creative Commons Licensed from Flickr user ‘luxpim’)