tbh just being with someone isn't the end all be all. you can look around and see people getting married and being happy with someone, and you being like, man I want a piece of that, but for the majority of my life, I was alone. Growing up in and out of foster homes for the majority of my childhood, because my mom valued liquor and pills over her kids, I learned real fast that I'm just better off alone. it didn't help that being in these foster homes, that i witnessed some pretty bad stuff happening to my sister at the time, so that stuck with me and I just never trusted anyone.
looking back at my early life experiences, I was better off not trusting anyone. I've had some of those thoughts throughout hs, and after, man life is going kinda ok, and i kinda wanna be like everyone else and be one of those dicks who share on social media with my partner of how validated i am. i can be that now, but I choose not to, because that's not who i am. I don't want to parade my personal life on social media for reasons that dont have something to do with some kind of mental health awareness
and with that, i have a wedding, like, tomorrow, and i'm just recently bringing it up, because how can anyone not be hyped about a wedding, especially between people who met on CDC-- that's a tradition here. with that being said, if i had a dime for everyone who asked me "oH YoUr GeTtInG cLoSe, R U nErVoUs?" i might have enough to afford a honeymoon. like, frig off, no im not nervous. im not giving you the answer that you want, i'm shutting that down