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Tank Hankerous

The Best KEVIN BIEKSA Quotes...

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Awesome thread. Glad you put it together but just a little creepy that you have that many of his quotes.

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"23 million with a 10 million signing bonus? We are all Canucks!

Ah,except Burr."

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His comment replying to Ryan Johnson last year before the Hawks series was his best.

The reporter told Bieksa that Ryan Johnson knew that the canucks were scared to play Chicago and that they were in there heads. Bieksa replied, " when players like him ( Ryan Johnson) were playing on our team , we probably were scared "

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"We definitely have a rivalry with them that’s kinda escalated a bit, and they’ve got a couple milk hot dogs on their team, and it makes for some fun games though, that’s for sure."

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That can be dangerous, when you are thinking about hockey all the time. Sometimes you need to get away from the rink and get away from the game and clear your mind, so I encourage every young guy in here to impregnate a woman they care about. Go find a soul mate, get her pregnant, and your hockey game will improve.

-Kevin Bieksa, giving great advice to young men.

Not sure where the quote is from

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Every interview with Bieksa contains gold...it's not always what he says as much as it's the delivery. Always smooth.

Off the top of my head, the interview after the Vern Fiddler shenanigans:

"He's not the first guy to do it, unfortunately,"...there's a couple of other Muppets around the league that have been trying to do it...he's an ugly guy to start out with, and then he's doing that face on top of that," Bieksa said of Fiddler. "He's not doing himself any favours."

The Fox interviews are usually pretty candid/hilarious. Like when they asked him about peeing in the shower (coaxing him by saying "Lu answered") and he refused to answer, but, in doing so, conceded that that was as good as a yes. Karen lost it at that point.

I try to catch every clip of him, because it's always something good. To be cont'd.....

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"Proceeds go to a translator for Alex Burrows."

-Bieksa on Ryan Kesler's clothing line.

"I don't think anybody left my table sober so I consider that a victory."

-Bieksa on dealing black jack at the annual "Dice & Ice" fundraiser.

"Are you prepared to be a father (of a girl), and what about all those degrading comments you've made about women the last few years?"

-Bieksa to Alex Burrows.

"I think it's hilarious. It's funny how you guys keep throwing my name out there and I'm still standing here."

-Bieksa on trade rumours.

"It`s a nightmare."

-Bieksa on having to spend 2 days in Edmonton during a road trip.

"Roberto`s a goalie, Markus is a winger."

-Bieksa on the difference between Luongo and Naslund as Captains.

"If I had the choice i`d probably want to spoon Trevor Linden."

-Bieksa on what teammate he`d like to ``spoon`` with.

"There`s a secret society that just comes and picks somebody randomly."

-Bieksa on how a new Captain is chosen.

"Two good looking red heads with goatees, how can you resist?"

-Bieksa on the Sedin Twins and their popularity with women.

"He's got a natural, sorta grease to it."

-Bieksa on Luongo's hair.

"Some sort of birth defect I think. I think that's what (Americans) do when you steal something at a young age, they break your pinky finger."

-Bieksa on Kesler's crooked pinky finger.

"There's a couple bars in Burlington where there's a few Cougars roaming around..."

-Bieksa on playing for the Burlington Cougars.

"I can change diapers with my eyes closed."

-Bieksa on being injured while his son was a baby.

"A few years ago they looked more alike ... Now they are starting to grow apart. You look at some of their pictures from the draft and they looked exactly the same back them."

-Bieksa on the Sedins.

"I've been hit harder than that before. My daughter has head-butted me harder and you're naive if you think you're going to go through your NHL career without taking a good shot or losing a fight. There's always time for a rematch."

-Bieksa on taking the worst of it in a fight.

"At least I've got some company. When I go to the rink I'll be hanging out with my buddies."

-Bieksa on being injured with 3 other Canucks D-men this Season.

"After the game I do a little bike ride, lift some weights and work on the biceps, go home and trim the chest, then go for a run on the seawall.``

"Huge factor. Very intimidating. Our coach is very clean shaven and we have to skate by that duster all the time."

-Bieksa on Joel Quenneville`s Moustache.

"When you put that jersey (Hawks) on, instant hate comes into this dressing room."

"He's got that still and he takes a lot of pride in it ... He's like 'let's go… let's go boys' in his little voice. I think for right now, that's enough responsibility. He's like a first-round draft pick, you don't want to rush him along too quickly or it could hurt him, right? He gets this and he feels comfortable with it right now -- maybe next year we can mix in a secret handshake or something like that."

-Bieksa on Edler

``She`s like `you`re on your own if you get traded```

-Bieksa joking about talking to his wife about potentially being traded from Vancouver.

"Trevor Linden, even though he lives in Kitsilano, always seems to be floating around in there. I run into him more than anybody. You just can't get rid of the guy."

-Bieksa on living in Yaletown

"Even my friends call me Be-es-ka."

-on broadcasters pronouncing his Lithuanian name wrongly.

"It seems like that's what they're targetting in the summer. It's not really who's best for our team, it's who's got red hair."

-Bieksa on Torres, Schneider and the Sedins.

"It's embarrassing, for sure. We said we should have air-brushed parts of him if he's going to have his shirt off."

-Bieksa on Hordichuk posing shirtless.

"He lightens up the room. Sometimes we laugh when he's not even trying to tell a joke."

-Bieksa on Burrows

"If he didn't go down I would have hit him in the chest. The good thing for me is I'm a first-time offender, so the goalies can't really hold this against me. I'm not a guy who usually goes high in practices or warm-ups regardless of what [Roberto Luongo] says."

-Bieksa after hitting Curtis Sanford in the throat with a shot in practice.

"I'm not like [Ryan] Kesler, who has the rap music or [Alex] Burrows, who has the Celine Dion. Mine is pretty standard."

-Bieksa on his cell phone ringtone.

"I'm actually running for Mayor of Grimsby so i've got to be politically correct with everything I say."

-Bieksa on not answering some questions.

"Like Hulk Hogan said, say your prayers, eat your vitamins, and what was the last one?..."

-Bieksa when asked to give advice to kids.

"I don't want to disrupt anything. Should I go in? Should I stay out? We've got to just keep this thing going. It's lot of fun around here when the team's winning."

-Bieksa on coming back from injury during a winning streak.

"Even if i'm pushing a stroller, those bike guys they'll just start giving it to me like 'get out of the lane you loser!'...and then I grab 'em and I push 'em off of their bike."

-Bieksa on walking in Vancouver's useless bike lanes.

"I don't know if that was just me being in town. But it was an honour to go out there and show off the jersey and my model skills. It was fun."

-Bieksa on modelling team jerseys.

"It's good to wash my car with."

-Bieksa responding to Michael Landsberg's question on whether he liked the shirt Landsberg was wearing.

"Maybe one day we'll be teammates, but Montreal...I'm 6 inches too tall to be signed right now."

-Bieksa to the short Mike Cammalleri on "Off the Record."

"I don't think we have the smartest team in the league. We've got guys like Hordichuk and Burrows who I think can use a little advice."

-Bieksa on having a degree in Finance.

"I had to explain to him what a sibling was first..."

-Bieksa on how he pitched the idea of a "siblings trip" to Alain Vigneault.

"I was looking at the guy face-to-face for 20 seconds and nothing happened. I turned my back to go to the pile and he grabs me from behind. He has to live with that, I guess. He didn't want to fight me when I was facing him."

-Bieksa on his fight with Ben Eager.

"No kidding."

-Bieksa sarcastically feigning surprise that Luongo doesn`t have a college education.

"I just beat half the forwards out there on faceoffs after practice."

"The first offer was proposed to me and I said no, the next thing I know this guy's modelling in his underwear...I think I gotta be hurtin' for money to come out with that."

-Bieksa on Ryan Kesler getting a clothing line.

"I told Burrows that if it was him, he owes me some compensation."

-Bieksa after Burrows may have accidentally chipped his tooth with a high stick.

"I was happy for Cookie when he won the cup. He barely got it over his head though. I don`t know if he`s hurt or not hitting the gym as much."

-Bieksa on ex-teammate Matt Cooke winning a cup.

"I'm sure he'll pay for maybe a couple of them."

-Bieksa on Alex Edler having to pay for team meals after Edler signed a 13 million dollar extension.

"There's no referee, I don't know why he was trying to draw a penalty."

-Bieksa joking about Roberto Luongo going down after taking a shot from him in practice.

"Yeah, well, you guys have been drawing blanks for three years now with the rumours so we'll see if you're right this time."

-Bieksa to TSN on rumours he would be traded at the draft.

"Don't get me wrong. There are still a couple of dummies in this room. Not everyone is interesting. A few guys you stay away from on the road."

-Bieksa on having college educated players on the team.

"Definately not French."

-Burrows on his nationality.

"I have my thoughts on (Jay Bouwmeester). I'll keep them to myself."

-Bieksa on Bouwmeester getting 7 million dollars.

"No, cliff diving".

-Bieksa reacting to a stupid question about whether he would be skiing when he went to Whistler for the All-Star Break.

"This definitely drops me down in the rankings for a while. I'll have to come back with a strong summer, get a couple of facials and stuff. But I'll be back."

-Bieksa on a fat lip after a fight affecting his inclusion on a TV Week magazine list of the most beautiful people in B.C.

"It's nice to get a nice punch to the face..."

-Bieksa on losing a fight to Tom Kostopoulos.

"They got in last night, so I have a good idea where he was in the late hours of the night."

-Bieksa on "Roxy" regular Shane O'Brien coming back to town with Nashville.

"My guess would've been Hordichuk but we traded him."

-Bieksa on who is guess was on who the new team Captain would be at the beginning of the season.

"We have already talked about him starting his playoff beard," Bieksa said. "He still kind of has that puberty beard going. He's going to need a good week to jump-start it and hopefully he'll be up to par."

-Bieksa on Keith Ballard.

"I snuck some Red Bull into his Powerade before the game."

-Bieksa on Alex Edler hitting hard in game 1 of the playoffs.

"If a 6-foot-8 guy who can't skate asks to fight, you say no, then skate around him and score a goal."

-Kevin Bieksa on John Scott.

"I was told when I was a rookie and a guy who wasn't playing much to not bother the regulars," said Bieksa. "That's the advice he should take: Don't bother the regulars."

-Bieksa on "hockey player" John Scott.

You should update this I'm sure he's said some better ones since you made this. Man did that give me a good laugh good post.

Edited for grammar

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No reference to the interview were the media-dude had mistaken him for Kesler? He went along with it & claimed his nickname was Guzzler, didn't he? Gotta' be the funniest bloke in the league.

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