Posted 24 March 2012 - 07:57 PM
First off, I think the issue with the pageant is she lied on her application, automatic disqualification, simple as that. Anyone who makes the pageant DQ a transgender issue is making something out of nothing.
Then the thread gets interesting (would could see that coming?), apparently we don't have to inform our lovers what gender we are anymore, I think that's bull. Relationships are about honesty, communication, and trust. People who think it is perfectly fine to lie to their partners and use the excuse that it wouldn't impact their life anyways are a great example of terrible human beings. In theory, we could argue that a cheating man telling his wife would be the same situation, the only reason she would be upset would be because of her preconceived belief that a partner sleeping with someone else is undesirable. There really isn't any physically harm done, and there would only be psychological harm because the wife holds a certain belief, and for no other reason, so she could be boiled down to a bigot against cheaters and nothing more.
At this point it is easy to whisk this away, cheaters actually are bad, while there isn't anything wrong with being transgender. This is the exact problem, it is easy to take this line of thinking because we have no problem labeling a cheater as being wrong, but when we start to think about why is becomes muddy. Why is cheating bad? I certainly think it is, it causes a lot of grief, but if I think about it admittedly it only causes harm because people decided it was bad, if we decided it was okay, there wouldn't be any grief, and there would be no harm done. A faithful partner is only a good thing because we have decided unilaterally that it is. Now I am fine living under this mantra, I will just continue to assume cheating is bad just 'cause, but now I must admit that others who holds similar views (screwing a dude is gross just 'cause) maybe aren't as crazy as I think they are. If I take time to evaluate myself, I can fully understand why they feel this way.
You can use incest as another example, if you were to find out that the person you were sleeping with for the past year happens to be your brother, it may be hard to just brush that off as no big deal. Technically it doesn't do you any harm (assuming no pregnancy), and in theory if you feel icky about it then I guess you are a bigot, but that would be the natural human response for many people. While it is biased in some way, I still think we can socially accept the notion that nailing your family members is undesirable if you choose that you don't feel comfortable with it.
Personally, I believe in someone's right to have sex with who they choose, if someone is gay, let them be gay, but that means if someone is straight, let them be straight. If someone does not desire relations with a transgender, that is no different than the gay guy who does not desire relations with women. We have probably all heard of many instances where the parents of a gay child will attempt to decide their sexuality for the them, I think this is wrong. In a similar fashion, I don't think a transgender has the right to simply decide I want to sleep with transgenders, without consulting me first. Don't put anyone in a special category, we must promote equality, if transgenders, men, women are all equal then someone has the same right to not want to love/date/sleep with one group as they do the others.
I get that these people are under fire publicly, and people want to be all protective, but you simply cannot promote the idea of dishonesty in relationships and think that you are being moral, there is no excuse for that. On top of that, you simply cannot promote the idea of equality under this philosophy.