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Ebbett Out With Upper Body Injury - Again (Link)

Tits J. McGee

By Tits J. McGee
in Canucks Talk

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Tits J. McGee

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Hey Guys...

Found this on the province website:

http://blogs.theprov...er-body-injury/

Just a day removed from returning to the Canucks lineup and playing hero for the home team by scoring the OT goal to send the Flames packing, Andrew Ebbett finds himself once again on the injured list. In what continues to be a frustrating season for Ebbett, the gritty forward will be out an unknown amount of time as he recovers from his latest setback.<p>

“We aren’t prepared to discuss Andrew’s injury at this time” stated Alain Vigneault during the post game media scrum. “You guys know that I am not going to tell you a thing, so I don’t know why you keep asking me.” AV continued, pausing to chuckle and chew his gum. “The only thing I can say at this point is that it’s an upper body injury. And I know you guys hate hearing that, but it is what is is. No more questions.”

While nobody on the team was willing to discuss Andrew’ injury status, we here at the Legion believe we have found out what the problem is. If you check the video evidence below, I think it will become clear as to what the injury is.

As you can see, about halfway though the zombie attack, you can hear Andrew screaming for his life. We believe the zombies finally managed to penetrate Andrew’s flesh and bite him. At this point he can do nothing else but pray for sweet sweet death but even that doesn’t come quickly, as more Canuck Zombies pile on to feast on Andrew. If Andrew didn’t bleed out from this attack, we’re pretty sure he’ll be a zombie by this time tomorrow.

Now, a couple of things:

1) Zombie Andrew Ebbett might still be able to play. While his regular season is most likely over, experts say he might be able to make it back for round 2. They feel the best thing to do is keep him locked up for a couple of weeks, thus making his desire for human flesh magnified by about 100 times the normal amount. Should we happen to face the Hawks? Well, let’s just see how serious Johnny Toews is when Andrew Ebbett is attempting to rip his arm off or how fun Kane thinks chewing a mouthguard is when Ebbett is chewing his toes off.

2) While I am optimistic we can turn Zombie Andrew Ebbett into good news (ie sending him after the Hawks), I won’t lie when I say that I am severely disappointed in Maxim Lapierre. I have heard he is the best team mate to have, and all the players swear he is an awesome guy, but to leave your team mate behind like that? That seemed a bit cold to me.

3) Even more cold than Lapierre’s betrayal of his team mate? The fans in Vancouver cheering on this madness. Look at them. They look almost giddy at the zombies feasting on poor Andrew. I used to defend the people of Vancouver, but cheering on a zombie attack? No, even I have my limits.

What, you don’t believe us about Andrew’ injury? You think this is some sort of sick April Fool’s day joke? That’s fine, I admire that actually. You think we’re lying to you, so you demand more proof. You were right to do that. So you want more proof? You got it. Let’s ask the experts.

dr_recchi2.jpg

Dr. Recchi agrees. Andrew Ebbett, out with a zombie attack related injury. And if you don’t believe Dr. Mark Recchi, well then, there is just no hope for you and I hope the zombies get you. Yeah, I said it.

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