Lessons From The 2010-11 Cup Run - Playoff Survival Guide

[Dogbyte]

I saw a topic a while back that was something along the lines of “What we’ve learned from last year’s run”. Things like injuries, depth, style of play, coaching, and personnel were some of the things listed. I wanted to contribute as well.

Things I’ve learned from last year – Playoff Survival Guide

1. Post early enough on CDC so that AV can make sure he has the line-ups correct. Remember, he’s at the rink 3-5 hours before the game.

2. Make sure you have purchased enough lubricators (Beer, Jaegermeister and Redbull) far before the game starts. Preferably two hours before game time.

3. Make sure you are well fed and prepared to be over fanatical. Fans most common injuries are caused by lack of food for the brain being overcome by liquid for the brain. Food for in-between periods and for unexpected guests is also a must.

4. Pre-chill first couple hockey pops half hour before game starts.

5. Put on Canucks T-shirt, Jersey, underwear, or whatever you need to get in the mode

6. Make sure any Canuck posters, towels, and signage is up and ready to go.

7. Have a shot or two of Jaegermeister (depending on how critical the game is) during the National Anthem(s). This will help calm your nerves.

8. Make sure you have arranged your furniture in the most simplistic design allowable as you will inevitably and involuntarily knock pictures of walls, run into objects, lash out unexpectedly, do the Homer Simpson floor spinarama and generally have no control over your body at certain points in time during the game.

9. Be as near to a restroom as possible.

10. Play the game as loud as possible; cheer when we score, and if you have a balcony or patio run around outside and scream as well when we score, ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIVE IN CALGARY. Trust me, your neighbors WILL LOVE YOU!

11. Again, make sure you have enough hockey approved beverages on hand; I don’t mean Budweiser per se but something along those lines … because most of these games can and are going to overtime. I find you can’t really go wrong with two 8-paks.

12. Have a smaller sharper object like a pen knife to help you open canned bevvies (if you buy cans) as you will have no fingernails almost immediately after the playoffs begin.

13. Two wake-up alarms during playoff action is highly recommended

14. Make sure the computer volume at work is turned off before you leave for home as this will allow you peace, quite, and anonymity when you log into work at 7:00 AM the next day. That Windows chime can sound like a train horn in the morning and alerts your co-workers that you are ready for work … when you might not be! Let’s be honest … you probably aren’t. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT THE LONGER THE RUN GOES.

15. If you usually play sports you might consider breaking a smaller bone or faking an injury so that you are on the shelf for a couple months. This worked great for me last year.

16. EAT, LIVE BREATHE, and if you sleep, SLEEP CANUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- REPEAT ABOVE PROCESS FOR 60 DAYS --

GO CANUCKS GO

[Fateless]

Things I've learned. If you bet on the Canucks winning the Stanley Cup in your hockey pools, and they lose. Not only do you lose your pools, but you're devestated from the team losing. I now choose other teams to win the cup so that I either win the hockey pool, or the Canucks take the cup. That way if the 'Nucks win, I'll be to damn stoked to care about the hockey pool... and if we lose... I can still say I won something as a consolation prize!

[Raiun]

Advice to live by! Thanks for posting.

[lf16]

I approve of the op just because of the living in Calgary line. Favorite part of the playoffs is pissing off my neighbors because their flames suck. Go Canucks go.

[etsen3]

Nice list, thanks for the laugh.

[Raiun]

I approve of the op just because of the living in Calgary line. Favorite part of the playoffs is pissing off my neighbors because their flames suck. Go Canucks go.

[CowtownCanuck]

10.Play the game as loud as possible; cheer when we score, and if you have a balcony or patio run around outside and scream as well when we score, ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIVE IN CALGARY. Trust me, your neighbors WILL LOVE YOU!

Duly noted, on the other hand, keep all doors and windows closed for when screaming and swearing at the ref's.

[Li'l Fra]

Things I learned from last year.

1.Swearing and yelling will have you watching the games by yourself by the end of four rounds.

2. Wearing your lucky jersey won't affect the game in any way.

3. Don't always feed your friends your own beer when they come over. Force them to bring some. And, when you've been feeding them awesome micro-brew don't expect them to bring good beer over either. Yes, Steve, I'm talking about your Pilsner.

4. Be a better fan. Ride out the highs and lows with dignity.

5. Have a riot, don't start one.

6. When Duncan Keith gets his come-uppance drink an extra beer. That guy is off my Christmas card list!

[skolozsy2]

Too funny!

[alt kilgore]

LOL

[Tearloch7]

Terrific "lines-to-live-by" Dogbyte .. I am well on my way to be prepared ..

[MariWanna]

I'm surprised at the number of witty, intelligent posts on CDC recently.

It's a miracle !

[Lewah]

Please don't use the phase, "WHEN we win the cup." It was used all the time last year, and it's creeping back.

[pwnstar]

i live in a duplex, my neighnbor is a big kings fan, therefore i am going to bang on the wall and whoop everytime we score

[lf16]

i live in a duplex, my neighnbor is a big kings fan, therefore i am going to bang on the wall and whoop everytime we score

[Sedinary]

Thank you for the hilarious post OP. I needed a laugh with all this intense playoff energy floating around!

On the other hand, what I've learned from last year's playoff is that eating chips and beer for 2 months will make you gain like 10 pounds!

So this year, it's all shots for me. At least I won't get a beer belly!

[MC Fatigue]

It MUST be playoff time. The gloomy and dread filled posts are being replaced with hilarious (this one) prideful and almost 'giddy feeling' threads. Ahhh, feels good.

[cool story bro]

A good rule I learned is to pace yourself. I never drank as much during the playoffs as I did last year and as a result I couldn't focus on a lot of the intricate points of the game because I was too drunk by the 3rd period.

Also, you don't need to watch every game with other people, especially if you actually want to hear what's going on and not have douchebags flipping to UFC or whatever during the game.

[twinsrockmysocks]

Have a doctors note on hand with a non game related excuse for missing work, exams and other commintments.

In that vien always keep your go to hangover cure ready to roll. Pre make it, or pre program the route to mcdonalds in your sat nav.

[CanucksxDream]

Very funny OP! Good job!!