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Apocalypse now: ‘Jersey Shore’ cast to go


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#1 Satan's Evil Twin

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 10:58 PM

Apocalypse now: ‘Jersey Shore’ cast to go

Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
Email Tirdad Derakhshani

In a revelation that has shocked us to the very Ground of Being, MTV has decided that the original cast of its post-bac humanities distance college course, Jersey Shore, will be ousted after the reality series’ sixth season next year.

That means, for those readers with Jersey Shore-sized IQs, that if the show comes back for a seventh season, it will not feature Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino or even Jenni “JWoww” Farley, the three human beings who have made our lives worth living.

Yes, I’m afraid it’s Situation Critical in Seaside Heights!

In Touch Weekly says the dread news was first conveyed to the cast and crew last week when they showed up at the shore to begin shooting what will be their final season. (The season will have the pregnant Snooki living in a separate home of her own.)



“An executive producer announced that this season will be the last,” Anonymous “insider” tells In Touch.

“She stressed to the cast that fans will remember them for this season, not the first, so they should bring their A game.”

The source says the cast did not let on they were sad. ““They decided to make the most of their final days at the Shore,” said the source.

We know better.

We know the show’s supporting players Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio and his pals Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Deena “No Nickname” Cortese and Vinny Guadagnino are shattered. We know they weep within.



Yet it’s a testament to their fortitude, their spirit, their esprit de corps that they don’t let on just how hurt they are.

And what of Jersey Shore’s top stars, that most honorable triumvirate of pre-Mensa heroes, that trinity of sex, booze and bad grammar? We think they’ll move on to bigger and better things.

The Situation for president! We say.



Read more: http://www.philly.co...l#ixzz1x5Ic74Ll

I don't even have a TV at home and this is the best news I've heard all day.

Edited by Scorpio Ego, 06 June 2012 - 11:00 PM.

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Father (Peace be upon You) Satan (Peace be upon You), I call to you (Peace be upon You) from the deepest parts of my heart, I praise your (Peace be upon You) name with every breath of my body, I worship you (Peace be upon You) with every fiber of my being. You (Peace be upon You) shown me what true strength is. You (Peace be upon You) have shown me what true love is. Out of the darkness you (Peace be upon You) came to show me the true light.


My master (Peace be upon You), my father (Peace be upon You) and my friend (Peace be upon You) what a great gift that is.


Posted Image Hail to the King (PBUH)! Posted Image


#2 Bob.Loblaw

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:02 PM

If they're really as popular in the US as the media claim they are, they might hold up for a couple more years.

I don't understand what the producers are doing, though. They're killing a cash cow.
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Hockey_Crazy is a god. But I still got dibs on Yuna.

#3 g_bassi13

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:03 PM

Oh noes! You mean they will no longer get paid or continue to be famous for their ability to act like a bunch of douchebags?

</3

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On the off-chance I die, gbassi, I love you.

 


#4 Tig'ol Bitties

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:03 PM

Thank God.

One can only stand so much Ronnie/Sam drama + Mike causing trouble for no reason.

I'm ashamed to say that I even watched this show....but I did, and after two seasons I was already sick of these people.

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#5 Xbox

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:05 PM

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small.pngGM - STHS                                  Sig Cred to -Vintage Canuck-

 

 


#6 Jägermeister

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:09 PM

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Edited by Jagermeister, 06 June 2012 - 11:10 PM.

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#7 pimpcurtly

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:10 PM

People with "Jersey Shore-sized IQ" can read?? :o
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#8 Armada

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:11 PM

This is the most disappointing news of the day.

Edited by Armada, 06 June 2012 - 11:14 PM.

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______________Eat, Sleep,Posted ImageRave, Repeat

#9 Jägermeister

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:13 PM

People with "Jersey Shore-sized IQ" can read?? :o


If they couldn't who would have bought this?
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Although I'm sure there is some fun colourful pictures inside just in case.

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#10 pimpcurtly

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:15 PM

If they couldn't who would have bought this?
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Although I'm sure there is some fun colourful pictures inside just in case.


:lol: did anyone buy that??
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#11 Jägermeister

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:20 PM

:lol: did anyone buy that??


Apparently enough did to make her write this:
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Oh god I just realized it says she was a "New York Times Bestselling Author"...
Looks like we have an answer.

Edited by Jagermeister, 06 June 2012 - 11:21 PM.

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#12 PlayStation

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:21 PM

They always say this is the last season and end up coming back so...
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"Real Men" :bigblush:

#13 The Situation

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:22 PM

I am surprised it made it to season 6 with the current cast. They were increasing their demands for money per episode with each season.

I am looking forward to a new cast if they can find guidos with as colorful personalities.
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#14 Satan's Evil Twin

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:22 PM

Apparently enough did to make her write this:
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Oh god I just realized it says she was a "New York Times Bestselling Author"...
Looks like we have an answer.


Jersey Shore sums up everything wrong with the world.

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Father (Peace be upon You) Satan (Peace be upon You), I call to you (Peace be upon You) from the deepest parts of my heart, I praise your (Peace be upon You) name with every breath of my body, I worship you (Peace be upon You) with every fiber of my being. You (Peace be upon You) shown me what true strength is. You (Peace be upon You) have shown me what true love is. Out of the darkness you (Peace be upon You) came to show me the true light.


My master (Peace be upon You), my father (Peace be upon You) and my friend (Peace be upon You) what a great gift that is.


Posted Image Hail to the King (PBUH)! Posted Image


#15 The Situation

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:23 PM

Thank God.

One can only stand so much Ronnie/Sam drama + Mike causing trouble for no reason.

I'm ashamed to say that I even watched this show....but I did, and after two seasons I was already sick of these people.


:bigblush:
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#16 Jägermeister

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:25 PM

I am surprised it made it to season 6 with the current cast. They were increasing their demands for money per episode with each season.

I am looking forward to a new cast if they can find guidos with as colorful personalities.


I would think you would be torn up about all the endorsements you are about to lose.

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#17 pimpcurtly

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:28 PM

Apparently enough did to make her write this:

Oh god I just realized it says she was a "New York Times Bestselling Author"...
Looks like we have an answer.


I bet Snooki bought all her own books.
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#18 Satan's Evil Twin

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:32 PM



I don't know what's more appropriate, :picard: or :sadno: or :sick:

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Father (Peace be upon You) Satan (Peace be upon You), I call to you (Peace be upon You) from the deepest parts of my heart, I praise your (Peace be upon You) name with every breath of my body, I worship you (Peace be upon You) with every fiber of my being. You (Peace be upon You) shown me what true strength is. You (Peace be upon You) have shown me what true love is. Out of the darkness you (Peace be upon You) came to show me the true light.


My master (Peace be upon You), my father (Peace be upon You) and my friend (Peace be upon You) what a great gift that is.


Posted Image Hail to the King (PBUH)! Posted Image


#19 Grapefruits

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:34 PM

:lol: did anyone buy that??


In January 2011, Polizzi's book, A Shore Thing, was released: it described her search for love on the boardwalk.[28] Despite a promotional campaign that included appearances by Polizzi on The View, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live and The Late Show with David Letterman, the book was not a sales success, selling approximately 9,000 copies within its first month of release, during which it accumulated 16 one-star customer reviews on Amazon.com. One publishing executive attributes the book's sales to the fact that "rather than a tell-all, it was disguised as a novel."[29][30]

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#20 BoKnows53

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:41 PM

"STAP IT RAHN! - Famous quotes in Jersey Shore History.

Reference: Seasons 1-4.

#21 WHL rocks

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 01:26 AM

I love watching Jersey Shore.


#22 Joker26

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 01:31 AM

"STAP IT RAHN! - Famous quotes in Jersey Shore History.

Reference: Seasons 1-4.


"You're traumatizing me"

#23 Tortorella's Rant

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 01:39 AM

Well, whatever, Pauly already made a living as a DJ. Ronnie can supply steroids to the kids at the local gym. Jenny can get involved in porn. Mike can promote synthol and the effects it has on biceps and continue to inflate his ego. That's pretty much it.
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#24 Sugar baby watermelon

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 02:01 AM

OK so who are we talking about here. There is a show called Jersey Shore???

#25 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 02:11 AM



for those that do not know this episode was about the jersey shore people taking over america and randy's alliance with osama bin laden , my enemies enemy is my friend , to defeat them . a week after this episode went to air in australia osama was killed .

Edited by puckinloveicehockey, 07 June 2012 - 02:16 AM.

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Aldous Huxley.


#26 Monty

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 07:48 AM

I am incredibly happy to say that I have never watched one second of this show.

Can you imagine drowning AT a KK Rev concert?

  


i'm pretty sure that's how zombies are born.


#27 RUPERTKBD

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 09:30 AM

I am incredibly happy to say that I have never watched one second of this show.


Neither have I, but I'm indifferent. There's a lot of crap shows on these days that I don't watch.
Orland Kurtenbach and Dennis Kearns had just been torched 8-1 by the Habs, but they still took time to come out to meet us, some fellow BC boys who were playing hockey in Montreal. THAT"S what being a Canuck is!

#28 NucksPatsFan

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 09:37 AM

The idea for following a bunch of goof balls partying, drinking and sleeping around has run its course. MTV just launched a new show called Brooklyn 1234 or something and it's supposed to be Jersey Shore but in the "big city" in New York, I don't know why but I wanted to see what the first 5 minutes were like and holy cr*p I had to turn it off after 30 seconds..

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#29 JustJokinen!

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 09:53 AM

I never understood why people watched this show and I still don't. I've probably watched a total of ten minutes of it when other people had it on and I found it extremely annoying.

#30 playboi19

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 11:07 AM

"STAP IT RAHN! - Famous quotes in Jersey Shore History.

Reference: Seasons 1-4.


Posted Image

Her voice makes me want to Kill!




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