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#1 Matthew Lombardi 18

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 04:48 PM

So I've started chatting up with a girl (haven't met her yet) and I want to keep it as casual as possible.

We haven't called this a date of any sort but I'm definitely sure she is interested in me. She's opened up to me and we've relaxed so much in chat. I know that in person, she's probably gonna be really shy (she admits that's what she's really like) but that's no problem - I told her I'm like that too (truth).

We're going to watch a foreign movie at a local theatre (she likes comedies and I don't honestly mind shelling money at the theatre).

Neither of us are connoisseurs of foreign cinema. We're just going there with practically no pressure. Neither of us are super wealthy - we are going there as ordinary people - paying for our own tickets.

I know it's kind of a mistake to take a girl to a theatre where there's not as much conversation but we are planning to go there earlier to find the spot and we'll have plenty of time for conversation before and after the movie.

We've done a lot of talking beforehand so there's not a lot of topics left to talk about - we often talk about nothing on MSN and we get along really well. We stay up for a little bit and we've had some solid conversations going. But I'm afraid that I might not have much to talk about in-person with her.

She's NOT a sports fan and she's only mildly interested in action movies - she loves the romcoms and the novels and stuff. It seems like we might not get along based on all those yet I don't mind the fact that she doesn't like sports or she likes romcoms. I think I'm ready to be somewhat converted. I'm a very open-minded person.

Need some advice?



Thanks.

Edited by Matthew Lombardi 18, 13 June 2012 - 04:54 PM.

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Eklund said:

So we are officially in a bit of a silly season, and in general I stay away from the completely crazy rumors that persist on the internet, or in the case of the Leafs having interest in Nabokov or Turco I will occasionally debunk them...however, I have been getting inundated with emails, PMs, and questions on twitter regarding a few rumors that are out there...so here goes.. I will address the rumors and follow with what I have or haven't heard...If you all like this format, maybe Wacky Wednesdays could be a regular feature. I wouldn't do it more than once a week, because I am too busy talking to actual sources and attempting to provide you all with as much unique information as possible.

Too busy talking to actual sources? lolwut

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#2 The Brahma Bull

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 04:51 PM

Make sure to open doors for her and smile. :P
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#3 Imuzi

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 04:52 PM

So I've started chatting up with a girl (haven't met her yet) and I want to keep it as casual as possible.

We haven't called this a date of any sort but I'm definitely sure she is interested in meeting up with me. She's opened up to me and we've relaxed so much in chat. I know that in person, she's probably gonna be really shy (she admits that's what she's really like) but that's no problem - I told her I'm like that too (truth)

We're going to watch a foreign movie at a local theatre (she likes comedies and I don't honestly mind shelling money at the theatre).

Neither of us are connoisseurs of foreign cinema. We're just going there with practically no pressure. Neither of us are super wealthy - we are going there as ordinary people - paying for our own tickets.

I know it's kind of a mistake to take a girl to a theatre where there's not as much conversation but we are planning to go there earlier to find the spot and we'll have plenty of time for conversation before and after the movie.

We've done a lot of talking beforehand so there's not a lot of topics left to talk about - we often talk about nothing on MSN and we get along really well. We stay up for a little bit and we've had some solid conversations going.

Need some advice?



Thanks.

Sounds like your already golden.
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#4 Rhinogator

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 05:03 PM

Yeah, just smile lots and you should be good. Don't try to be fancy or anything.
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#5 Dittohead

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 05:08 PM

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She's NOT a sports fan and she's only mildly interested in action movies - she loves the romcoms and the novels and stuff. It seems like we might not get along based on all those yet I don't mind the fact that she doesn't like sports or she likes romcoms. I think I'm ready to be somewhat converted. I'm a very open-minded person.

Need some advice?


grow a pair.....don't convert for anyone...
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#6 Phil_314

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 05:16 PM

Not to be Donny Downer, but it's better to NOT talk too much before you meet them... save more to talk about in person
Also, it's not very helpful to watch something that you might not even understand (context OR language) when, if it's too weird (much like what happened to me and frd after watching "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close") it left us going "uh... what did we just watch?" and our thoughts are still spent on processing what happened instead of being able to share experiences.

Why not go somewhere more interactive? If this was in August I would suggest the P.N.E., or just walk around and explore the Night Market and stuff like that. [#ConstructiveAdvice]
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#7 Guest_AriGold_*

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 05:25 PM

Not to be Donny Downer, but it's better to NOT talk too much before you meet them... save more to talk about in person
Also, it's not very helpful to watch something that you might not even understand (context OR language) when, if it's too weird (much like what happened to me and frd after watching "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close") it left us going "uh... what did we just watch?" and our thoughts are still spent on processing what happened instead of being able to share experiences.

Why not go somewhere more interactive? If this was in August I would suggest the P.N.E., or just walk around and explore the Night Market and stuff like that. [#ConstructiveAdvice]


Exactly right. If this one doesn't work out next time meet sooner then later and save the random general chatting to the date.
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#8 Corleone

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 05:28 PM

I'll share a little trick with you.Buy some popcorn you hold it so she doesnt get butter on her dress.cut or tear a hole in the bottom of the bag insert your .... tell her to dig in the good stuffs at the bottom..bonus natural lubricant :bigblush:
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#9 Jägermeister

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 05:32 PM

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I'll share a little trick with you.Buy some popcorn you hold it so she doesnt get butter on her dress.cut or tear a hole in the bottom of the bag insert your .... tell her to dig in the good stuffs at the bottom..bonus natural lubricant :bigblush:


Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.
Step 2: Well... you know.
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#10 Matthew Lombardi 18

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 05:37 PM

Not to be Donny Downer, but it's better to NOT talk too much before you meet them... save more to talk about in person
Also, it's not very helpful to watch something that you might not even understand (context OR language) when, if it's too weird (much like what happened to me and frd after watching "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close") it left us going "uh... what did we just watch?" and our thoughts are still spent on processing what happened instead of being able to share experiences.

Why not go somewhere more interactive? If this was in August I would suggest the P.N.E., or just walk around and explore the Night Market and stuff like that. [#ConstructiveAdvice]

Not to be Donny Downer, but it's better to NOT talk too much before you meet them... save more to talk about in person
Also, it's not very helpful to watch something that you might not even understand (context OR language) when, if it's too weird (much like what happened to me and frd after watching "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close") it left us going "uh... what did we just watch?" and our thoughts are still spent on processing what happened instead of being able to share experiences.

Why not go somewhere more interactive? If this was in August I would suggest the P.N.E., or just walk around and explore the Night Market and stuff like that. [#ConstructiveAdvice]

Not to be Donny Downer, but it's better to NOT talk too much before you meet them... save more to talk about in person
Also, it's not very helpful to watch something that you might not even understand (context OR language) when, if it's too weird (much like what happened to me and frd after watching "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close") it left us going "uh... what did we just watch?" and our thoughts are still spent on processing what happened instead of being able to share experiences.

Why not go somewhere more interactive? If this was in August I would suggest the P.N.E., or just walk around and explore the Night Market and stuff like that. [#ConstructiveAdvice]


Many thanks for everyone who posted with advice.

But to reply directly to you, I unfortunately can't turn back time. But... I feel that everything I've said so far has to feel more comfortable around me. I'm not out to complicate things. But at the same time, I feel that random chit-chat is not enough. I think we're past that now. We still don't know each other yet we have a glimpse of each other's lives.

Please keep responses coming! Thank you.

Dick in the box is a funny thing normally for me but I don't want to dick this one up, no pun intended :picard: :bigblush:
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Eklund said:

So we are officially in a bit of a silly season, and in general I stay away from the completely crazy rumors that persist on the internet, or in the case of the Leafs having interest in Nabokov or Turco I will occasionally debunk them...however, I have been getting inundated with emails, PMs, and questions on twitter regarding a few rumors that are out there...so here goes.. I will address the rumors and follow with what I have or haven't heard...If you all like this format, maybe Wacky Wednesdays could be a regular feature. I wouldn't do it more than once a week, because I am too busy talking to actual sources and attempting to provide you all with as much unique information as possible.

Too busy talking to actual sources? lolwut

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#11 KoreanHockeyFan

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 05:40 PM

Um, just out of curiosity, how did you manage to "chat up" this girl without even talking to her in person?
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#12 Zoolander

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 05:46 PM

Um, just out of curiosity, how did you manage to "chat up" this girl without even talking to her in person?


Yeah, I was wondering that too.
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#13 Zoolander

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 05:47 PM

Just curious... :bigblush:
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#14 S.Mouse!

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 05:52 PM

Need some advice?



No, I don't need any, but thanks for asking.
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#15 Aleksandr Pistoletov

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 06:17 PM

grow a pair.....don't convert for anyone...

Got news for you, in a "relationship", there's always "converting".

Engaging in activities one's romantic interest has isn't by any means giving one's individuality up as would be the insinuation here, especially if this type of thing is occasionally reciprocated as frequently. If people only did what they subjectively want, or in Dittohead's terms, "growing a pair", there'd be no relationship, and no point in being in one, therefore enjoy alone time with your own "pair".

It's hard to give advice on the subject for me because I don't know what OP wants out of this date between him and her.

If you want a one nighter, put on a show, cater to the things she's interested in, put on some moves.

If you are seriously interested in her and want to get to know her, be yourself, learn about and converse with what interests her, convey what interests you, let things become what they become and just enjoy time together. If she's interested in a relationship, and you put your foot forward, taking that step, if she wants the same she will reciprocate that. Simple.

Edited by zaibatsu, 13 June 2012 - 06:19 PM.

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#16 pimpcurtly

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 06:26 PM

ugh blind dates....just be sure to put a little captain morgan into your drink.....takes the edge off. ;)
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#17 Stefan

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 06:34 PM

Hey, I've done about a dozen + blind dates, because I've used Plenty of Fish quite a bit. So I have a fair amount of experience in the area.
Going to a threatre is a terrible idea.
I'd put going for a walk above going to the theatre, and I've actually gone on a walk with a girl as a first date, with her dogs. It was good.
I've also gone to a movie with a girl on a first date, and it was dull.

So, if you can change your plans, and you're both old enough to drink, go for drinks. Like pimpcurtly suggested, some booze loosens both people up.
Nothing crazy, a few drinks.
I'd also say keep it brief. Two hours is a good first date... Then tell her you gotta go. Unless things are going so insanely well, I'd strongly advise this. It's great for attraction. If things went well, and it's brief, she'll want more of you.
If they're going really well after a few drinks, and you don't see a problem with it continuing, THEN MAYBE go see a movie.
I'd still advise against it though. Use your discretion though.

Oh, and to conclude. Like some other people said, keep the online / texting / phone calls brief. Investing too much time in this puts more pressure on both of you, and might hinder the overall experience. Like you said, what's done is done, so for the love of god, go in confident, and don't think it's the end of the world if it doesn't go well. Live and learn. Also don't try to force conversations, try to act loose, and just talk about random, silly things. Girls like random sillyness. The fact you have opposite interests is actually a GOOD thing. if you both sat there and talked about hockey the entire time, it would suck. You both have more to talk about this way.

Edited by Stefan, 13 June 2012 - 06:36 PM.

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#18 Jaimito

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 07:07 PM

not a nux fan? i say dump her and move on.
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#19 Guest_BuckFoston_*

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 07:22 PM

WEAR CLEAN UNDERWEAR! Or at least that's what moms always say.

Also to the guy talking about relationships and converting, better known as compromise, that depends on what you are compromising. I don't see why my girlfriend has to watch sports with me if she doesn't like them (luckily she enjoys some, so there is a nice balance). By the same token I don't have to go watch romantic comedies with her if I don't like them (luckily, neither does she). For what? So I can sit there rolling my eyes and she will be down about it because she can't enjoy it now? I mean that's what your friends are for if you partner isn't into it. I really can't stand it when I see a girl dragging a guy to the theatre to see some stupid Jennifer Aniston movie and he has that "yup, my balls are in her purse" look the whole time. You wanna see it that much, take your girlfriends, have a fun girls night out. Let the guy have his own time too. That's the compromise.
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#20 Baercheese

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 07:25 PM

ugh blind dates....just be sure to put a little captain morgan into your drink.....takes the edge off. ;)

YES
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#21 Jägermeister

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 07:28 PM

ugh blind dates....just be sure to put a little captain morgan into your drink.....takes the edge off. ;)


I'd go with Jagermeister.
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#22 PlayStation

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 07:30 PM

Doesnt like comedy, nor sports!?
MSN???????
Common!
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#23 flapjacks

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 07:39 PM

Why a foreign movie lol

I'd go with Jagermeister.


I never would have expected you to suggest that!
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#24 marleau_12

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 07:54 PM

I talked to this girl sooooooo much on BBM, then in person we were both basically mutes and had nothing to talk about. It was awkward. Probably best to save a lot of the chat for in person, like someone said before me.
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#25 Denguin

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 09:29 PM

Not to be Donny Downer, but it's better to NOT talk too much before you meet them... save more to talk about in person
Also, it's not very helpful to watch something that you might not even understand (context OR language) when, if it's too weird (much like what happened to me and frd after watching "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close") it left us going "uh... what did we just watch?" and our thoughts are still spent on processing what happened instead of being able to share experiences.

Why not go somewhere more interactive? If this was in August I would suggest the P.N.E., or just walk around and explore the Night Market and stuff like that. [#ConstructiveAdvice]

Yeah I agree with your first statement. This is why it's hard to date friends, cause you know each other too well already. I once tried to date a friend, and it literally got to that awkward silence, which really REALLY sucks.

To me, dating is about getting to know the other person... That's the fun part of it, anyway. Once you "have" her, generally it's not too much of a problem, but to start out, you don't want to send a message that you're socially awkward (even though you're not).


That's just my opinion though...

Edited by Denguin, 13 June 2012 - 09:30 PM.

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#26 Remy

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 10:11 PM

Never ask others for dating advice. You have to trust your own gut.
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#27 Armada

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 10:29 PM

Send her nudy pictures B)
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#28 kazin!

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 11:19 PM

I talked to this girl sooooooo much on BBM, then in person we were both basically mutes and had nothing to talk about. It was awkward. Probably best to save a lot of the chat for in person, like someone said before me.


Haha if you can do that and still hit it off in real life you know you're gold....or in the friendzone.
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#29 WillyFox

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 11:51 PM

When I 1st started dating my girlfriend she hated hockey but I slowly forced it on her she is a huge canucks fan now more canucks shirts then me lol. Don't worry about it if it goes further then a first date your bound to try new things ;)
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#30 Matthew Lombardi 18

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Posted 14 June 2012 - 12:02 AM

Hey, I've done about a dozen + blind dates, because I've used Plenty of Fish quite a bit. So I have a fair amount of experience in the area.
Going to a threatre is a terrible idea.
I'd put going for a walk above going to the theatre, and I've actually gone on a walk with a girl as a first date, with her dogs. It was good.
I've also gone to a movie with a girl on a first date, and it was dull.

So, if you can change your plans, and you're both old enough to drink, go for drinks. Like pimpcurtly suggested, some booze loosens both people up.
Nothing crazy, a few drinks.
I'd also say keep it brief. Two hours is a good first date... Then tell her you gotta go. Unless things are going so insanely well, I'd strongly advise this. It's great for attraction. If things went well, and it's brief, she'll want more of you.
If they're going really well after a few drinks, and you don't see a problem with it continuing, THEN MAYBE go see a movie.
I'd still advise against it though. Use your discretion though.

Oh, and to conclude. Like some other people said, keep the online / texting / phone calls brief. Investing too much time in this puts more pressure on both of you, and might hinder the overall experience. Like you said, what's done is done, so for the love of god, go in confident, and don't think it's the end of the world if it doesn't go well. Live and learn. Also don't try to force conversations, try to act loose, and just talk about random, silly things. Girls like random sillyness. The fact you have opposite interests is actually a GOOD thing. if you both sat there and talked about hockey the entire time, it would suck. You both have more to talk about this way.


We did have a walk afterward as well as genuine table talk (at a local shop). She loved the movie (which is a good thing). We talked on public transit and generally it was just chill. It was not bad for a first. Plus she's texting me now, so I imagine that's a good thing - yet I'm not sure anymore if she sees me the same way that I thought she saw me as. Maybe we're friends - maybe there's more? I dunno. She's a tad chatty, which is good. I tend not to talk too much. I need someone to spark conversation and I can carry it out.

It technically wasn't a blind date as we'd seen each others photos. But in person, I realized there was the 'myspace' illusion for a photo, if you catch my drift.

Edited by Matthew Lombardi 18, 14 June 2012 - 12:03 AM.

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Eklund said:

So we are officially in a bit of a silly season, and in general I stay away from the completely crazy rumors that persist on the internet, or in the case of the Leafs having interest in Nabokov or Turco I will occasionally debunk them...however, I have been getting inundated with emails, PMs, and questions on twitter regarding a few rumors that are out there...so here goes.. I will address the rumors and follow with what I have or haven't heard...If you all like this format, maybe Wacky Wednesdays could be a regular feature. I wouldn't do it more than once a week, because I am too busy talking to actual sources and attempting to provide you all with as much unique information as possible.

Too busy talking to actual sources? lolwut

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