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#1 Salter

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:00 PM

The title pretty much says it all! I just want to hear everyones stupid/funny cheesy jokes! Doesn't need to be canucks related but if you feel like it, go right ahead!

Some funny jokes!

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, but I have no idea how they'd get in the lightbulb.

What kind of Computer sings?

A Dell. :bigblush:

What did Tigger find in the toilet?

Pooh!

I was about to make a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.

What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

Two cannibals are eating a clown , one turns to the other and says , does this taste funny to you

Why did the Chicken cross the road?

To beat the s#!t out of Marchand.


Edited by Salter, 07 July 2012 - 10:27 PM.

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#2 Caboose

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:02 PM

What do you call stolen cheese?

Nacho cheese.
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#3 Dellins

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:04 PM

What did the horse in denial say?

Neigh.
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#4 CanucksFanMike

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:04 PM

What time is it in Boston? 12 past luongo!

that totally isn't old at all
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#5 Caboose

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:07 PM

What cheese surrounds a medieval castle?

Moatzarella.
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#6 Guest_BuckFoston_*

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:07 PM

My dad has this really bad one that he always tells.

"How do you separate men from boys in Greece...? With a crowbar!"

And you just stand there thinking, oh my god, father... did you really just say this.
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#7 KoreanHockeyFan

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:07 PM

What did Tigger find in the toilet?

Pooh!
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#8 Traumatic

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:09 PM

What time is it in Boston? 12 past luongo!

that totally isn't old at all


Unfortunatly, Boston and Chicago are interchangable.
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#9 Caboose

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:09 PM

Why does cheese look sane?

Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
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#10 I R Baboon

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:11 PM

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Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na.
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#11 Kooner91

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:14 PM

Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na.


:lol: Thats great.
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#12 Gooby

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:21 PM

I was about to make a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.
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#13 Nathan MacKinnon

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:26 PM

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There are two scientists in a bar. The bartender asks them what they'd like to drink. The first man says "H2O". The bartender asks the second man. He replies, "I want H2O too." He dies.


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#14 Nathan MacKinnon

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:29 PM

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane?
Spoiler


What's worse than finding a worm in your apple
Spoiler


What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
Spoiler


I'm a fan of anti-jokes
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+1 this post!

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#15 Hume

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:32 PM

What is brown and sticky?

A stick.
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i've no idea what i am talking about! you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiinkin'.
(i'm trapped in this body and can't get out.) how come i end up where i started?.
REASONABLE AND SENSIBLE.

#16 Hume

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:34 PM

There's three dudes standing in an elevator. One of them says

"Hey guys, my name is Chad, nice to meet you!"

And the second guy says

"Woah, my name is Chad too, nice to meet you as well."

And the third guy says

"YOU GUYS ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS! BOTH OF YOUR NAMES ARE CHAD!"
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i've no idea what i am talking about! you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiinkin'.
(i'm trapped in this body and can't get out.) how come i end up where i started?.
REASONABLE AND SENSIBLE.

#17 Caboose

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:35 PM

Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na.


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#18 marinated.pea

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:36 PM

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#19 I R Baboon

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:38 PM

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Hahahahaha
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#20 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:40 PM

Two cannibals are eating a clown , one turns to the other and says , does this taste funny to you
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The Real war is not between the east and the west. The real war is between intelligent and stupid people.

Marjane Satrapi

tony-abbott-and-stephen-harper-custom-da

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.

Aldous Huxley.


#21 Nathan MacKinnon

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:40 PM

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Spoiler


A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle?
[spoiler]Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human
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#22 Gran Turismo

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:45 PM

What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink?


Wah-tah!
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#23 We Broke The Cup

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:48 PM

How do you catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice, place some peas around the hole and when the bear comes up to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole!
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#24 marinated.pea

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:49 PM

What kind of weapon can potassium, nickel, and iron make?

A KNiFe :shock:
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#25 Armada

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:49 PM

I wanna punch a couple of you.

Cheesy jokes piss me off :lol:
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#26 cs2016

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:51 PM

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

Spoiler


A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle?
[spoiler]Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human



Why was Sally sad?


















Because her face was stapled to the ground.

Edited by cs2016, 07 July 2012 - 08:53 PM.

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#27 Gran Turismo

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:51 PM

What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common?


They have the same middle name.
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#28 NightHawkSniper

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:52 PM

Why did the Chicken cross the road?

To beat the s#!t out of Marchand.
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#29 marinated.pea

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:54 PM

How do you catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice, place some peas around the hole and when the bear comes up to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole!


We peas are a gentle, non-violent kind. Don't encourage the stereotypes...

Now back to the chemistry jokes! But not really, I only like them periodically...
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#30 cs2016

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:56 PM

What's red, green and spins around really fast?

A frog in a blender.
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