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Cheesy Joke Thread

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361 posts in this topic

What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink?

Wah-tah!

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How do you catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice, place some peas around the hole and when the bear comes up to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole!

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What kind of weapon can potassium, nickel, and iron make?

A KNiFe :shock:

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I wanna punch a couple of you.

Cheesy jokes piss me off :lol:

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What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common?

They have the same middle name.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road?

To beat the s#!t out of Marchand.

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How do you catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice, place some peas around the hole and when the bear comes up to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole!

We peas are a gentle, non-violent kind. Don't encourage the stereotypes...

Now back to the chemistry jokes! But not really, I only like them periodically...

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What's red, green and spins around really fast?

A frog in a blender.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, but I have no idea how they'd get in the lightbulb.

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What did the baby digital clock say to the mama clock?

"Look Ma, No hands!"

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Why did the boy throw peanut butter in the ocean?

To go with the jellyfish.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Not Sally.

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What kind of Computer sings?

A Dell. :bigblush:

Edited by Gooby
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

.................................

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Argon walks into a bar.

The bartender goes "We don't serve noble gases here. GET OUT"

Argon doesn't react.

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...

I'm a fan of anti-jokes

That's like the latest episode of 'Louie' with Louie CK. It starts with his kids telling him knock knock jokes and his youngest daughter says she has one, but its more like a regular joke.

Daughter: "Who told the Gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet?"

Louie:"Uh, ok. I don't know, who?"

Daughter: "Well... ...the people who are in charge of those decisions. I mean, the people who decide those kinds of things."

I paraphrased, but it made me laugh.

Edited by elvis15
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Argon walks into a bar.

The bartender goes "We don't serve noble gases here. GET OUT"

Argon doesn't react.

Funny pictures thread? :P

Since we're into chemistry jokes,

Proton walks into a bar, and finds Neutron sobbing over a drink.

"Don't be so negative, you two have chemistry!"

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm positive!"

... Right, that's why I'm at home and not out with friends...

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Polar bear: Help me, I fell into the water, and now I'm dissolving!

Black bear: But bears are insoluble..

Polar bear: Easy for you to say, you're not polar!

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dre1868l.jpg

I want to open a cheese shop and call it "Cheeses by Jesus"!

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