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Cheesy Joke Thread

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#31 Gran Turismo

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 09:07 PM

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, but I have no idea how they'd get in the lightbulb.
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#32 Squirrels.Gone.Wild

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 09:25 PM

What did the baby digital clock say to the mama clock?

"Look Ma, No hands!"
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#33 OrdinaryBoy

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 09:31 PM

Why did the boy throw peanut butter in the ocean?
To go with the jellyfish.


What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.


Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.
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#34 Gooby

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 09:44 PM

What kind of Computer sings?

A Dell. :bigblush:

Edited by Gooby, 07 July 2012 - 09:44 PM.

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#35 Vapourstreak

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 09:58 PM

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.


.................................
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#36 marinated.pea

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 10:00 PM

Argon walks into a bar.
The bartender goes "We don't serve noble gases here. GET OUT"
Argon doesn't react.
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#37 elvis15

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 10:08 PM

...
I'm a fan of anti-jokes

That's like the latest episode of 'Louie' with Louie CK. It starts with his kids telling him knock knock jokes and his youngest daughter says she has one, but its more like a regular joke.

Daughter: "Who told the Gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet?"
Louie:"Uh, ok. I don't know, who?"
Daughter: "Well... ...the people who are in charge of those decisions. I mean, the people who decide those kinds of things."

I paraphrased, but it made me laugh.

Edited by elvis15, 07 July 2012 - 10:08 PM.

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c3c9e9.pnganimalhousesig.jpg

If this team lets go of Sang he will burn this team next year.

 


#38 Vapourstreak

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 10:14 PM

Argon walks into a bar.
The bartender goes "We don't serve noble gases here. GET OUT"
Argon doesn't react.

Funny pictures thread? :P

Since we're into chemistry jokes,

Proton walks into a bar, and finds Neutron sobbing over a drink.
"Don't be so negative, you two have chemistry!"
"How do you know?"
"Because I'm positive!"

... Right, that's why I'm at home and not out with friends...
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#39 Vapourstreak

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 10:19 PM

Polar bear: Help me, I fell into the water, and now I'm dissolving!
Black bear: But bears are insoluble..
Polar bear: Easy for you to say, you're not polar!
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#40 nucklehead

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 10:27 PM

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I want to open a cheese shop and call it "Cheeses by Jesus"!
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#41 marinated.pea

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 10:55 PM

Oxygen and Potassium went out on a date once.
It was OK.
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#42 Durian

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 11:27 PM

What do you call a pig that does karate?

Pork chop!
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hi wee trad bobbi luuuu 4 ryan clowne. we gett big depht wingelrs who can [****] kasasian up in fite an kill ben marchandt an duncen keiths we will win with gritti forward yes?

ok butt i already kno mark gillis he taek recomiendation from mee al time. i responsibel for his disisihun to draft sedin ok?

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#43 Steve23

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 01:02 AM

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

- Fo 'drizzle
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#44 CCF4E

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 01:11 AM

Did anyone post the joke about the pizza yet?
Nevermind it's too cheesy















:sadno:
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Ehrhoff isn't from europe....


#45 NikiShiz

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 01:27 AM

Knock Knock?
Whose there?
Little old Lady
Little old lady who?
....I didn't know you could yodel...

Thats the most cheesy + appropriate joke I have lol
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NikiShiz

#46 TimberWolf

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 08:17 AM

What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
The Wheelchair....


And this, for the chemestry people:

Posted Image

Edited by TimberWolf, 08 July 2012 - 08:18 AM.

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I was saying Lu-Urns...

star-wars-hockey-goal.gif?w=284

#47 dajusta

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 09:14 AM

What does a gay cow eat?

"Heeeeeeeeeeeey!"
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I'm Christian
I won't judge you
No one is perfect
Only through Jesus
Will we find Truth

#48 Flying Man

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 09:47 AM

Two atoms were sitting at a bar



Atom 1: "Oh my, I think I lost an electron!"

Atom 2: "Are you sure?"

Atom 1: "I'm positive"
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#49 Don't.Mess.With.Kes<3

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 10:25 AM

How do you get a bunch of pikachu's onto a bus?








...you pok-em-on


(poke them on for those of you that don't get it) hahaha
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Go Canucks Go

#50 Teen Icarus

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 12:18 PM

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible amount of fence. The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will use the least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution." The physicist is next. She creates a circular fence of infinite radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the herd, declaring, "This will give the smallest circular fence around the herd." The mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, "I define myself to be on the outside!"

"A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe, watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering an empty building. Ten minutes later they reappeared together with a third person. “They have reproduced,” said the biologist. “Oh no, an error in measurement,” the physicist sighed. “If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again,” the mathematician concluded

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Spoiler


What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Spoiler


What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a wall?

Spoiler


What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a tiger cage?
Spoiler


What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep?
Spoiler


What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a piece of paper?
Spoiler


What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being cooked by cannibals?
Spoiler

Edited by Teen Icarus, 08 July 2012 - 12:37 PM.

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Spoiler

#51 Drybone

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 01:51 PM

Horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks..............".so , why the long face"...............



How do you piss your wife off when making love? ..................Phone her.


Blond walks down the beach with boyfriend. Boyfriend says ......"look , dead pelican " ................Blond looks up and goes" Where"?


Doctor sees a patient tell him he has six months to live. Turns out the patient couldn't pay the bill, doctor give him 6 more months.
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#52 Gran Turismo

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 02:01 PM

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Madame.

Madame who?

Madame foot is stuck under your door.

Edited by Gran Turismo, 08 July 2012 - 02:02 PM.

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#53 nucklehead

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 02:30 PM

Funny pictures thread?   :P

Since we're into chemistry jokes,

Proton walks into a bar, and finds Neutron sobbing over a drink.
"Don't be so negative, you two have chemistry!"
"How do you know?"
"Because I'm positive!"

... Right, that's why I'm at home and not out with friends...


Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Rene are you going to have a drink today?" He thinks for a moment before replying, "No, I don't think that I am". *POOF* He vanishes into thin air.
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#54 marinated.pea

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 02:54 PM

I'm just gonna sit here and give out pluses. A lot of these are giving me a good chuckle :P
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#55 Nathan MacKinnon

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 03:15 PM

What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
The Wheelchair....


And this, for the chemestry people:

Posted Image


Copy cat..
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Credit to Intoewsables :wub: :wub: :wub:

Formerly known as UMADBRO?


#56 vancanfan

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 03:19 PM

What has 4 legs and eats ants?



2 uncles :P
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#57 Jägermeister

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 03:38 PM

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A string walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve strings here".
The string, without saying a word, walks outside where he proceeds to tie himself into knots and mess up his ends.
When he walks back in and asks for a beer the bartender says, "Aren't you the string that was just in here?"
"No", he answered, "I'm a frayed knot."

Edited by Jagermeister, 08 July 2012 - 03:38 PM.

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#58 CaNuCkSLoUiE23

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 06:45 PM

I'm a Leafs fan.
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#59 CaNuCkSLoUiE23

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 06:46 PM

What did one guy say to the other?

"Hi."
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#60 CaNuCkSLoUiE23

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 06:47 PM

Knock knock
Whose there?
I'm a pile-up
I'm a pile-up who?









:bigblush:
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