canuckspride Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 what seperates the fruits from the vegetables? the burrard street bridge Link to comment
Alchemy Time Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 (edited) "This just in! A dangerous criminal escaped from the Saskatchewan Provincial jail this morning, But was apprehended a 1/2 hour later." "Apparently, police found him excatly where they originally arrested him, hiding behind the tree." Edited September 15, 2012 by ER15 Link to comment
Peaches Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Where did Wendy go? I think the Bacon ate 'er Link to comment
nuckin_futz Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 (edited) Three Brazilian Soldiers Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed." "OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands. Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?" Edited September 16, 2012 by nuckin_futz 2 Link to comment
Alchemy Time Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Why did Billy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus. Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Knock knock, Who's there? Not Billy... 1 Link to comment
GodzillaDeuce Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Three Brazilian Soldiers Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed." "OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands. Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?" donald rumsfeld, eh? I guess I know which president you mean, then Link to comment
Mainly Mattias Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 life sucks. and then you die. i don't do comedy. Link to comment
Sugar baby watermelon Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 How do frogs die?? They Kermit suicide. Link to comment
MikeyBoy44 Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Guy asks his wife " hey you wanna grab me a beer before it starts?" Wife cautiously replies "ok" and gives him a beer. Few minutes after guy says " hey Hun wanna grab me one more before it starts?" Wife replies hastily " Before WHAT starts?" "And Now it starts!" 1 Link to comment
McBackup Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile." Link to comment
Alchemy Time Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Q: If you're on your jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A: Blue ice cream, because turtles don't wear hats. Link to comment
Mattias Ohlund.2 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 What did the elk say when the moose fell off the cliff? "Oh dear." Link to comment
Guest Gumballthechewy Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Q: If you're on your jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A: Blue ice cream, because turtles don't wear hats. My brain hurts.... Link to comment
Mr. White Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 (edited) A horse walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says... "I don't mind the long face but don't start anything" Edited September 21, 2012 by Alexander Edler 23 Link to comment
BananaMash Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 What did the dairy product say when he was getting his picture taken? Cheese! I'll show myself out. Unless someone already told a similar joke, in that case, you may throw tomato's at me. Link to comment
Guest Gumballthechewy Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 What did the dairy product say when he was getting his picture taken? Cheese! I'll show myself out. Unless someone already told a similar joke, in that case, you may throw tomato's at me. Link to comment
Heretic Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?' The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.' 'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked. 'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man. 'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan. 'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone. 'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan. 'Yep,' was the calm reply. 'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan. ' Nope,' said the old man More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?' The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.' 1 Link to comment
c00kies Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 What do you call a group of old female bears? Many paws Link to comment
Guest Gumballthechewy Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.' That's hilarious! 1 Link to comment
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