while I obviously don't condone continuing the cycle of abuse and there is no excuse for this kind of weakness........does anyone here consider that he, himself, is probably a survivor of hard core sexual abuse?
He should go to jail, no doubt, and pay his penance, but he does deserve some consideration that he probably went through some pretty horrble experiences of his own.
By the time you hit adulthood and in this day and age of awareness and information, no excuse. There is plenty of help available and he should have sought some out if that was the case. He had enough of a presence of mind to know that he wanted to end things before they got unbearable (with the pill gulp), should have used that same reasoning to seek out help.
I'd be more inclined to agree with you if his acts didn't appear to be premeditated (with the lure of false promises) - but it shows that he thought about this rather than just acted on impulse. So, no - should have used that thought process to determine that this was wrong and reached out for some help instead. Too easy to hide behind "reasons" these days - time to get back to the focus being on the victim, not the perpetrator. And, in cases where victims grow up, it becomes a matter of accountability. In the case where there is a child victim and an adult - my empathy steers toward the child who may not be equipped to handle and take charge of the situation. Adults generally should be able to identify problems and then take the necessary steps to address them. Sounds cold and I know it's difficult - but there is too much information out there regarding the "cycle of abuse" to deny and ignore it.
And, after reading all the comments, I commend those with the strength/courage to reveal that they, themselves, have been victim to this horrible cycle of abuse and to work through it. With that, I still find it hard to let adults off the hook for calculated abuse of others. Empathy is a tough one if the person suffering chooses to deal with their pain through inflicting it on others. I understand why/how it happens (and worked in the field for a time), but everyone also has the responsibility as an adult to at least try to address things that are creating turmoil for them.
Years ago it was different and things were swept under rugs and kept in closets - today it is completely acceptable (as demonstrated here) to free yourself by sharing your experience and, in that, receiving the necessary help. Those who don't really get little empathy from me.
Edited by debluvscanucks, 11 August 2012 - 11:11 AM.
Read the entire thread