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Matthew Lombardi 18

Meeting a (very) insecure girl from online.

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This is the worst way to go about it... For the online thing pictures (even just 1) should be shown. Unless youre a very lucky man, you are most likely going to be put in a very uncomfortable situation. Im not trying to be shallow just truthful.

When or if you ever find out how she looks, whether you try or not, youre sub conscious has already come up with an idea of how you think she will look (or hope she will look).

It is easy to make all these promises without actually having to do anything. Try keeping every promise after you have seen her.

I have done the online thing only twice. The first time i did the same as you and it could have been a disaster because I saw her in person after i decided not to ask her out, she looked nothing like her picture (when i eventually got it), i learned from it and decided honesty and being more blunt was the key. Also being insecure is a huge turn off. I found an amazing girl and havnt looked back since.

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Insecurity is a turn-off. A hot girl who doesn't realize how hot she really is a huge turn on. Could go either way. Only problem is you'll never know because it sounds like she never plans on meeting up. Some girls are like that. Just want someone to talk and text to kill time but never plan on meeting you. Whether she's ugly or not is irrelevant because you'll never see her anyway.

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Run, Run fast! Seriously Run....I dont know what type of girls you are into but if she has insecurity issues like this, she will not get any where in life. Confident people move forward and take from the insecure and as bad as it sounds its true.

My girlfriend is insecure and is now pregnant (as great as she is) I find it frustrating to watch her get walked over and having to always provide emotional and financial support. I do love her and I am happy but will probably now not have all the things in life that 2 successful people could have. Cut the cord now before it is to late and find someone that will walk beside you not behind you!

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With all due respect ML18 this topic (and others like it by you) scream DESPERATION.

In that state you are doomed to begin with. Call me a jerk if you want. I am giving it to you right between the eyes.

Off the top of my head you should be listening to Sharpie, GD, Canuckerbird...........

I often wonder if people that ask for advice are prepared to take it.

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But seriously man, if you feel connected to her then it shouldn't be a problem, however if you meet her and you are not attracted to her physically and she is as ugly as she says, well... you sir are in a predicament

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Do you only have one contact in your list?

Play the field and one will eventually show their picture which you might be interested in.

Not saying that you should be a "playa". Its more about statistic. The more you try the more chances thast you have... Like lotto 649...goodness, i'm rambling...

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Okay, so I've got this personal anecdote that might help with your sitch..

********************************************************

I recently met with this guy (I'm a girl) online. It has been a week and three days and I feel much progress has occurred.

We've had text messages and telephone/cell phone calls. He has not seen my picture yet. I've decided to put him to a test. Can be committed enough to keep trying, even though he hasn't seen my picture and I'm sending him signs that I don't wanna meet?We've managed to talk about A LOT of personal stuff about each other (aside from names, school and places of work) and we have A LOT of similar goals/interests/experiences. It almost seems like it is meant to be. This whole week, I've been talking to him for hours and hours, non-stop. The interest between us, I believe, is genuinely mutual. Everytime he goes back home, I am almost always the first person to write me long messages about how I feels about meeting/knowing him (and it's all positive).

I've openly admitted that i "really really really" like him (and more, which could be scary for guys!) but won't meet him until couple of months from now.

I tell him I am physically ugly and wants to "be ready for him" later on, and I'm afraid I'm not good enough for him. Of course, this is all part of the test. I've told him I've made lifestyle changes, turning a bit more girly now (what if he thinks I'm a man? LOL).

I wants to give him a picture of me as a birthday present. He gave me his picture just two days ago. But the question is if he can wait that long for me or will he pass me up as just an option?

I've has encouraged that he goes find someone else. But of course, when girls say that, it is never what we really want.

I really want to be with him and I really hope that he can stay committed to waiting for me so he can prove that I'm not just an "option" to him.

********************************************************

...

But in all honesty, I admire you very much for liking a girl despite not knowing what she looks like. So much of our society now is based on outward appearance, and the fact you can look beyond that is very admirable.

I say you give her a chance! What's the worst that can happen? :)

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The dog in me says that you can totally appear to be committed and waiting for this one online, while actually not. She'll think that she's really special while having the delusion that she's running the show, when in fact you've made no committment at all, and best of all, you've spent nothing. So by the time the actual meet comes, it's good to go time, with minimal investment. In an ideal situation, that is.

The realist in me says that this scenario never plays out and it's extremely difficult to find a person you truly connect with. So... Why play games? That goes for both parties. Life is too short to be wasting time with this crap. Do you or don't you show a picture right away? Gimme a break.

"Do you? Yes. Do you? Yes. Good, now kiss her."

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With all due respect ML18 this topic (and others like it by you) scream DESPERATION.

In that state you are doomed to begin with. Call me a jerk if you want. I am giving it to you right between the eyes.

Off the top of my head you should be listening to Sharpie, GD, Canuckerbird...........

I often wonder if people that ask for advice are prepared to take it.

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Sometimes people need to get burned in order to learn not to play with fire.

It's all good, in my opinion. Live and learn, right?

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The fine line between close friend and bf/gf is sex and buying her stuff.

Do you have any idea how many single women are out there? Just because you have some shared interests with this person doesn't mean that you're destined to live your life with her. I have common interests with people I can'e stand. Common interests are just that....common interests.

You are over complicating this situation. This boils down to one question that you have to ask yourself...Is she worth it?

If the answer is yes, then tough it out and go for it.

If the answer is no, then move on.

From the sounds of it, she is not putting the same amount of effort or care into this thing as you are. In which case, she is probably not all that interested. And if she's not willing to put in the effort before you two even meet, then what makes you think she will be willing to pull her weight in an actual relationship down the road.

I'll be really blunt with you...you can do better.

This is the last I am gonna post about this. I prefer to just talk hockey on these boards but your situation peaked my interest. I wish you all the best. Good luck and remember...Is she worth it???

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You have a bad case of one-itis and you aren't her priority. She is in control of everything right now. This is not how to wheel birds. They want men to be in control. It's primal instinct. Even the most self sufficient woman needs a man to call the shots. This broad doesn't need to meet you. She tells you all the gory details of her life and she just sees you as a comforting shoulder to cry on. Even if you did meet, it's under her terms and she would likely try to keep it on friendly terms even though she has hinted at wanting more (they all do, but likely not you from how it sounds). If she was actually interested in jumping your bones, she would have met you already. You aren't interested in her life story, you are interested in scoring first, talking later. As a previous poster said, throw down the ultimatum and if she says no...DROP HER AND MOVE ALONG. Do you need reminding of how many single women are out there? And women hate being single. Get out there and work a few girls at a time, learn from your successes/errors and you will soon have them wanting YOU not you wanting THEM.

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