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Meeting a (very) insecure girl from online.


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#91 RonMexico

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 03:50 PM

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LMAO! You think women don't know what we or other women want? And you do? Seriously. LMFAO!! :lol: What I DO know is that it sure as hell isn't you or anyone like you.

Of course it had nothing to do with your attitude that you ended up with you having the late date with the palm sister............

I wasn't aware that this thread was confined to boys/guys only........perhaps a note in the OP would have made it clear that a female perspective wasn't asked for or needed.  You mention 'finding success with women' yet again.....perhaps you'd like to share this success. And I don't mean the one night stands..........but actual long term relationships.  You know, the ones that have to actually be sustained past the wham bam thank you ma'am ............But honestly, you sound like more fluff than substance.. Smart, and real women are the ones who are sending you home to your late night date with your hand.


Why are you attacking me? I never said anything about you in particular, I just made generalized statements. My lady (been together for 3 years), whom I met online, loves everything about me, and vice versa, even though I not the type of guy she ever envisioned herself with. But anyways, this thread is not about me or you for that matter. It's about helping a young fella who is having troubles with a bird who is shy, insecure and misleading. He has basically done everything and been everything she appears to want, yet she can't even be decent enough to show him what she looks like??? Give me a break. She is trying to be in control of everything. If you ever want to meet her, heck even see her picture, you gotta turn the tables and get some control yourself.
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#92 Bang Bang Boogie

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 03:59 PM

I like the way you spit game OP.
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#93 Bertuzzi Babe

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:00 PM

Why are you attacking me? I never said anything about you in particular, I just made generalized statements. My lady (been together for 3 years), whom I met online, loves everything about me, and vice versa, even though I not the type of guy she ever envisioned herself with. But anyways, this thread is not about me or you for that matter. It's about helping a young fella who is having troubles with a bird who is shy, insecure and misleading. He has basically done everything and been everything she appears to want, yet she can't even be decent enough to show him what she looks like??? Give me a break. She is trying to be in control of everything. If you ever want to meet her, heck even see her picture, you gotta turn the tables and get some control yourself.


Alright, how is she 'misleading' him? She's been very upfront about many things about herself. How is she 'in control of everything'? She's either shy and insecure or controlling....which is it? You seem to know so please share your vast knowledge of women and this particular woman with us.

Is being shy and insecure such a crime that now it is perceived as being 'misleading' and 'controlling'?

And yes, you've made a number of 'generalizations'..........and they are incorrect for the most part.


My original post stands as written.

Edited by Bertuzzi Babe, 31 August 2012 - 04:03 PM.

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#94 TOMapleLaughs

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:07 PM

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The guy is right: You don't ask a deer about how to hunt deer. You ask a hunter.

Unless you're making the process into a play to get her into the sack, don't bother asking a girl for advice on how to get other girls. Besides, all they would offer you is the same ol' lines, like it's what's inside that counts and blah, blah, blah. Who cares? The truth is most are together with a guy mainly because he showed interest and persisted, period, and now she's trapped. Hahahaha. jk
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#95 Bertuzzi Babe

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:08 PM

The guy is right: You don't ask a deer about how to hunt deer. You ask a hunter.

Unless you're making the process into a play to get her into the sack, don't bother asking a girl for advice on how to get other girls. Besides, all they would offer you is the same ol' lines, like it's what's inside that counts and blah, blah, blah. Who cares? The truth is most are together with a guy mainly because he showed interest and persisted, period, and now she's trapped. Hahahaha. jk


:rolleyes: <------ even if you're trying to pass it off as a joke! ;)

Edited by Bertuzzi Babe, 31 August 2012 - 04:15 PM.

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#96 Tortorella's Rant

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:11 PM

Haven't seen her picture? Maybe she's 300lbs and has four chins.
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#97 J.R.

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:13 PM

Haven't seen her picture? Maybe she's 300lbs and has four chins.


Maybe she looks like John Tortorella. Handsome lady!Posted Image
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#98 RonMexico

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:17 PM

She has openly admitted that she "really really really" likes me (and more, which could be scary for guys!) but won't meet me until couple of months from now.


If she really really really likes him and more but won't meet him for a few months...she doesn't really really really like him that much. No woman will wait a 'couple of months from now' to meet a guy whom she really really really wants to be with; even if she is shy or not. There is something she isn't telling you.
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#99 ManUtd

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:33 PM

Damnit look at her facebook or give up! Respecting her privacy my butt!


She sounds extraordinarily private. In that case unless she's an idiot then she's probably set it up so there aren't any pictures of her that are easy to find or even viewable outside a select few people. I don't have any of me on my account. That's not a privacy thing though. I just really hate facebook.

Edited by ManUtd, 31 August 2012 - 04:33 PM.

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#100 King Heffy

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:34 PM

:rolleyes: <------ even if you're trying to pass it off as a joke! ;)

There's some truth to what Ron and TOML have been saying, even if Ron's method of articulating it isn't the best for mixed company.

The truth is, an awful lot of women do have no clue what they want, especially at a young age. A lot of attraction is completely subconscious.

Instead of "taking control", I think RonMexico means that women want a man with the confidence to go for what he wants in life. This is beneficial to her in the long term because her mate will be able to achieve good things in his life, such as promotions at work. An ability to provide is an attractive quality.

While I don't advocate being a complete jerk, I do believe the OP needs more control of the situation. Language can be key.

Eg. Instead of "Would you like to go see Ghostbusters with me sometime?"
Say: "I'm going to go see Ghostbusters this Saturday. You should come."

With the first wording, you've given her the ability to choose whether BOTH of you go. With the second, you've made up your mind that you're going and she only has to decide for herself.

This method is especially good for lower self esteem girls, because you're not making them the prime reason for hanging out; the movie is.

Edited by Number14, 31 August 2012 - 04:36 PM.

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#101 pimpcurtly

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:51 PM

That may very well be. But he is right that nobody likes (respects) a door mat. Door mat does not equate to success with ladies long OR short term.

And quite frankly he's right about the vast majority of women in their early 20's. A good chunk of them are a MESS. Crying on nice guys shoulders while they go out and date a-holes.


Do you think OP is being treated like a doormat because she's hesitant to give a pic or meet? I don't think so, not after only 2 weeks. Maybe after a couple months or if OP was sending a bunch of X rated pics with nothing in return but not in this case, IMO.

And who are you kidding really?? There are probably just as many messed up guys as there are girls.
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#102 CanucksCupHopes

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:51 PM

Dude she
Might not be a she it could be a guy foolin around with u
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#103 J.R.

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:58 PM

Do you think OP is being treated like a doormat because she's hesitant to give a pic or meet? I don't think so, not after only 2 weeks. Maybe after a couple months or if OP was sending a bunch of X rated pics with nothing in return but not in this case, IMO.

And who are you kidding really?? There are probably just as many messed up guys as there are girls.


I think you missed my point.

The world is most certainly not lacking a-hole men for those women to date.
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#104 nuckin_futz

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:59 PM

Dude she
Might not be a she it could be a guy foolin around with u


The OP said he's had plenty of phone calls with her. So I am assuming we can agree that she is in fact a woman.

Pretty sad that this woman would describe herself as "ugly". That's a very harsh word. Especially to use about yourself.
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#105 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 05:07 PM

The OP said he's had plenty of phone calls with her. So I am assuming we can agree that she is in fact a woman.

Pretty sad that this woman would describe herself as "ugly". That's a very harsh word. Especially to use about yourself.


right on brother .
and this speaks volumes on her self esteem . beauty is as beauty does .
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#106 pimpcurtly

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 05:11 PM

I think you missed my point.

The world is most certainly not lacking a-hole men for those women to date.


I guess I'm still not getting your point. Why bring up how messed up young girls are these days when there's just as many messed up guys? Do you think OP's girl is messed up for being insecure or unsure. I think two weeks is to early to be making such judgements....just my opinion though.
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#107 GodzillaDeuce

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 05:46 PM

I guess I'm still not getting your point. Why bring up how messed up young girls are these days when there's just as many messed up guys? Do you think OP's girl is messed up for being insecure or unsure. I think two weeks is to early to be making such judgements....just my opinion though.


he never said there wasn't loads of messed up guys as well, in fact he's agreeing with you there (calling them a-holes).

but that's not pertinent to this conversation, as a) op seems like a nice guy, and b ) girl seems pretty messed up.

Edited by GodzillaDeuce, 31 August 2012 - 05:47 PM.

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well I'm sorry that gd is soo perfect


#108 pimpcurtly

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 05:49 PM

he never said there wasn't loads of messed up guys as well, in fact he's agreeing with you there (calling them a-holes).

but that's not pertinent to this conversation, as a) op seems like a nice guy, and b ) girl seems pretty messed up.


My girlfriend of many years was very insecure when we first met....does that mean shes messed up too??
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#109 GodzillaDeuce

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 05:56 PM

My girlfriend of many years was very insecure when we first met....does that mean shes messed up too??


I'm not falling for that trap. suffice it to say that, at the time that she WAS insecure, regardless of whether or not she is currently, by J.R.'s definition she was "messed up"

but let me clarify, I am in no way myself calling your girlfriend messed up

Edited by GodzillaDeuce, 31 August 2012 - 05:58 PM.

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well I'm sorry that gd is soo perfect


#110 pimpcurtly

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 06:09 PM

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I'm not falling for that trap. suffice it to say that, at the time that she WAS insecure, regardless of whether or not she is currently, by J.R.'s definition she was "messed up"

but let me clarify, I am in no way myself calling your girlfriend messed up


Well JRs definition is idiotic. Some people take longer than others to trust and come out of their shell....and by no means does that make them "messed up." It's been two weeks FFS!
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#111 Mr. Ambien

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 06:32 PM

My girlfriend of many years was very insecure when we first met....does that mean shes messed up too??

If you were just friends what's the problem? On the other hand, dating an insecure person in general, man or woman, has a high probability in ending badly, depending on what they do with that insecurity.

Edited by zaibatsu, 31 August 2012 - 06:32 PM.

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#112 Tortorella's Rant

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 07:11 PM

Maybe she looks like John Tortorella. Handsome lady!Posted Image


Hot :bigblush:
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#113 cadillaccts

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 07:30 PM

Is anybody else checking this thread consistently in hopes that the op posts pictures of this mysterious lady???


I am.


I think we deserve to know shortly after the op finds out. It's only fair... Right?
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#114 MaxLapierreAwesomeFace

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 07:51 PM

I don't think you should waste your time honestly. But follow your heart, CDC can't and probably won't change your mind.

Edited by MaxLapierreAwesomeFace, 31 August 2012 - 07:51 PM.

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#115 pianoman13

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 09:03 PM

Just be honest with her! Tell her that you have already told her that you aren't a superficial person and you understand that she is insecure. Tell her that she needs to take this step (if not with you, with someone else later in life) if you are going to progress in your relationship. Let her know that she can trust you, and thats all you can do. It seems she needs to overcome this hurdle to get farther into a relationship with you, and untill she does that you guys are kind of going nowhere. Doesn't mean you are going backwards, its just not progressing. Let her know you can only wait so long, but try not to pressure her.
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#116 Lockhart

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Posted 31 August 2012 - 09:04 PM

Lol
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#117 Stick-in-Rink

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Posted 01 September 2012 - 12:21 AM

At least she was straight forward with you. I think she just never wanted to get your hopes up from the beginning of her You're going to feel more attached to her if you guys continue talking so I think you should start letting go if she's not willing to go further with it like you are.. You both should move on with your lives. She herself even told you to meet someone else

You honestly say the appearance doesn't matter for you.. but there has to be some sort of appeal there or it's not going to work. She honestly needs to figure things out for herself before figuring them out with you.

I'm sure you can reel another girl in.
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#118 Danthecanucksfan

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Posted 01 September 2012 - 12:44 AM

Is anybody else checking this thread consistently in hopes that the op posts pictures of this mysterious lady???


I am.


I think we deserve to know shortly after the op finds out. It's only fair... Right?


I'm intrigued as well.
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#119 Mainly Mattias

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Posted 01 September 2012 - 01:09 AM

i'm bored. OP, post some new developments.
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“Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think you've lost time. There is no short-cutting to life. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.” ― Asha Tyson

#120 SukhKular

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Posted 01 September 2012 - 05:33 AM

Bottom line is no girl is worth this much time. I'm not a hater or anything. No guy is worth this much time either. Life is too short for these stupid mind games. Leave this stuff in high school where it belongs. Move on. Don't block or delete her. But stop pursuing it and let her do the work.

Edited by debluvscanucks, 01 September 2012 - 02:50 PM.
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