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A Romantic Poem


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#1 Salter

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Posted 15 September 2012 - 11:31 PM

There is a girl that I like at my school and she told me last night that she likes me, and I've been thinking and I like her too. We haven't known each other for very long but I thought, I should ask her out.
So tomorrow evening we are going for a walk together and one of my buddies said I should write a poem for her so I wrote this.


Your eyes are the stars,

Your laugh is a symphony,

Your smile makes me glad,

That you're here right next to me.

Now I've just been wondering,

'Cause it may be fate,

Is there any chance,

That you would like to date?


I know it's pretty bad, cheesy, and probably a dumb idea but I wanted to know if you guys think I should do it or not. She did tell me she likes me so it's not that risky but I wanted your guys' opinions. Please don't bash me for the poem haha,

***UPDATE***
It worked! Thanks everyone!

Edited by Salter, 16 September 2012 - 07:40 PM.

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#2 ~ V ~

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Posted 15 September 2012 - 11:35 PM

V approves.


She likes you and wasn't afraid to open up to tell you = why can't you do the same? It'll only strengthen the relationship and will allow both of you to understand each other.
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#3 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 15 September 2012 - 11:36 PM

There is a girl that I like at my school and she told me last night that she likes me, and I've been thinking and I like her too. We haven't known each other for very long but I thought, I should ask her out.
So tomorrow evening we are going for a walk together and one of my buddies said I should write a poem for her so I wrote this.



Your eyes are the stars,

Your laugh is a symphony,

Your smile makes me glad,

That you're here right next to me.

Now I've just been wondering,

'Cause it may be fate,

Is there any chance,

That you would like to date?


I know it's pretty bad, cheesy, and probably a dumb idea but I wanted to know if you guys think I should do it or not. She did tell me she likes me so it's not that risky but I wanted your guys' opinions. Please don't bash me for the poem haha,


mate if you have the balls to post that poem on this website then telling it to a girl should be no problem .

ahhh young love ::D
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#4 Sharpshooter

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Posted 15 September 2012 - 11:36 PM

Ah, young love. B)

Cheesy is good....because at least it's sincere. Girls like poetry, especially the kind that tells them how much you like them, how pretty they are, and how lucky you are to be in their company.

Good start. Don't worry, you'll get better in time.

All the best.
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#5 Slender Man

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Posted 15 September 2012 - 11:44 PM

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#6 canuckspride

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Posted 15 September 2012 - 11:46 PM

if there is one thing marriage has taught me, its the cheesy, corny, lame romantic movie crap always..ALWAYS goes over well.
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#7 :D

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Posted 16 September 2012 - 12:14 AM

There is a girl that I like at my school and she told me last night that she likes me, and I've been thinking and I like her too. We haven't known each other for very long but I thought, I should ask her out.
So tomorrow evening we are going for a walk together and one of my buddies said I should write a poem for her so I wrote this.


Your eyes are the stars,

Your laugh is a symphony,

Your smile makes me glad,

That you're here right next to me.

Now I've just been wondering,

'Cause it may be fate,

Is there any chance,

That you would like to date?


I know it's pretty bad, cheesy, and probably a dumb idea but I wanted to know if you guys think I should do it or not. She did tell me she likes me so it's not that risky but I wanted your guys' opinions. Please don't bash me for the poem haha,


If you've already planned out a walk together for tomorrow, you're probably already passed the point of worrying about asking her out. Who else would schedule a walk?

But hopefully she is interested enough in you to look past the poem being clunky and cliche.
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#8 TACIC

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Posted 16 September 2012 - 12:30 AM

Lol eyes were playing trick on me and i read it as 'a romantic porn'
But seriously that is pretty good,should work
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#9 :D

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Posted 16 September 2012 - 12:31 AM

Lol eyes were playing trick on me and i read it as 'a romantic porn'
But seriously that is pretty good,should work


Take this guy's advice. He sounds like he's on the mark.
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#10 TACIC

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Posted 16 September 2012 - 12:37 AM

Ya girls are saps for that stuff just things like jokes and short stories are two other things they enjoy
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#11 Phil_314

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Posted 16 September 2012 - 12:37 AM

As long as it doesn't turn out like below I approve



:bigblush:


Nah, good for you! Best wishes
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Jesus LOVES YOU!
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#12 WHL rocks

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Posted 16 September 2012 - 12:38 AM

HaHa, that's cute. Give it a try and let us know how it works out. good luck,
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#13 Salter

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Posted 16 September 2012 - 07:40 PM

It worked guys & gals! :)
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#14 GodzillaDeuce

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Posted 16 September 2012 - 07:46 PM

congrats little bro

smoother than me lol
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well I'm sorry that gd is soo perfect


#15 Jai604

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Posted 16 September 2012 - 09:11 PM

Haha, I honestly had a genuine huge stupid grin on my face reading this, hahahaha.


Dis playa smoov, lol.

:lol:
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#16 Nathan MacKinnon

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Posted 16 September 2012 - 09:16 PM

Atta boy Salter! Glad you met your pepper!
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+1 this post!

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#17 Nucks fan555555

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Posted 16 September 2012 - 10:10 PM

soooooooooooo frickin corny aha but glad it worked...girls love it
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#18 I♥Wellwood

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Posted 16 September 2012 - 11:27 PM

I'm glad it worked but I do wanna say that not ALL girls like that corny stuff. It's cute when you've never had a guy do that for you before but after that, overly sappy stuff can definitely turn some girls off.
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#19 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 02:26 AM

I'm glad it worked but I do wanna say that not ALL girls like that corny stuff. It's cute when you've never had a guy do that for you before but after that, overly sappy stuff can definitely turn some girls off.


do you think it is corny that a guy likes a girl enough to put pen to paper to express his feeling's ?
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That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.

Aldous Huxley.


#20 RUPERTKBD

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 07:12 AM

So now it's time to move on to the next phase of the relationship....

I suggest a poem with a first line that ends with the word "duck".... B)
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#21 StevenStamkos

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 07:39 AM

So now it's time to move on to the next phase of the relationship....

I suggest a poem with a first line that ends with the word "duck".... B)


Kesler stop flopping like a duck
And it wouldn't hurt for you to pass the puck?
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#22 -Vintage Canuck-

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 02:35 PM

Congrats!
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#23 J.R.

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 02:57 PM

You should use that poem on every cute girl you see and keep a running tally on how many fall for it ;)
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#24 Sharpshooter

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 04:20 PM

I'm glad it worked but I do wanna say that not ALL girls like that corny stuff. It's cute when you've never had a guy do that for you before but after that, overly sappy stuff can definitely turn some girls off.


So true. :unsure:
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#25 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 05:21 PM

So true. :unsure:


yeah i have known girls like that , they are usually attracted to guys like this

:lol: Posted Image
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The Real war is not between the east and the west. The real war is between intelligent and stupid people.

Marjane Satrapi

tony-abbott-and-stephen-harper-custom-da

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.

Aldous Huxley.


#26 Jägermeister

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 05:59 PM

I'm swooning.
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#27 GodzillaDeuce

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 08:17 PM

I'm glad it worked but I do wanna say that not ALL girls like that corny stuff. It's cute when you've never had a guy do that for you before but after that, overly sappy stuff can definitely turn some girls off.


why so jaded?
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well I'm sorry that gd is soo perfect


#28 JoeyJoeJoeJr. Shabadoo

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 08:47 PM

So now it's time to move on to the next phase of the relationship....

I suggest a poem with a first line that ends with the word "duck".... B)


Either that or "Nantucket".
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#29 I♥Wellwood

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Posted 18 September 2012 - 12:59 AM

do you think it is corny that a guy likes a girl enough to put pen to paper to express his feeling's ?


why so jaded?


I think you have to go through it to understand. It can become something that you start to roll your eyes at instead of swooning. The OP tried it and it worked. Congrats to him! Just a difference of opinion.

Edited by I♥Wellwood, 18 September 2012 - 01:00 AM.

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#30 J.R.

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Posted 18 September 2012 - 09:54 AM

why so jaded?


Not that Wellwood needs defending... but why is that "jaded"? People are individuals. Some women don't like or respond to "sappy" romantic stuff. It's simply their makeup. Just like some will or won't like sports or some will or won't be ultra-girly, wear lots of makeup, pink frilly dresses and LOVE sappy romantic gestures.

Nothing to do with being jaded and everything to do with realizing women are all individuals not one hive-minded entity (despite what media tries to feed you).
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