EoH Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 So im in this relationship right now and i want to clarify a few things regarding being in a relationship and the 'set' of rules it comes with. Being in a relationship are you allowed to still meet other people of the opposite gender (aside from such things as school and work, unless if necessary) and be friends with them like get their numbers, text and call etc. Right now im also in the middle of the fight because i picked up one of my friends that were drunk one time and she was a girl. My girlfriend is taking an exception to this because i'm not suppose to do this because its not my responsibility (even though we been friends for a long time) and it was the wrong thing to do. As of right now shes also making me get rid of my friend because i put 'her' before the relationship is this also wrong? So, i just want to know from others perspective is what i did wrong and the thoughts on the aforementioned question above, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goalie13 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 No, you shouldn't be collecting phone numbers. Yes, you should still pick up drunk friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuckin_futz Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Not sure what you mean by the 'set' of rules it comes with? Do you mean the common sense rules that govern a relationship such as don't boink anyone else. Or does your relationship have special rules that you had to agree to? If it's the latter and all you did was help an old friend when they found themselves in a pickle. Then I suggest to remove yourself from this relationship. I see nothing wrong with helping an old friend in a time of need. In fact, it probably falls under the set of 'rules' that govern friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luongo Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I don't think you did anything wrong per se, but each relationship is different. If she feels that the boundary of the relationship should not extend to having friends of the opposite sex, then you should respect that. Of course, if she feels that way, she herself should not have male friends either. What's fair is fair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squeak Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 If your girlfriend has an issue with you driving a drunk friend home safely... it's safe to assume that your relationship isn't going to last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharpshooter Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 You need to sit down and have a talk to her about trust. If she can't trust you to be around other females, and the opposite goes for you if the situation were reversed, then it's better to end it now. Distrust and jealousy are born of insecurity. If you can make her feel secure, great, if not, jump ship and look for someone who is less immature. Have a talk with her, see if it does the trick. Figure out why she's insecure about you having friends of the opposite gender. If she won't and can't figure out a way to come to grips with that insecurity, then like I said, move on and save yourself lost friendships and much unneeded drama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottish⑦Canuck Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Being in a relationship are you allowed to still meet other people of the opposite gender (aside from such things as school and work, unless if necessary) and be friends with them like get their numbers, text and call etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zombieksa Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I believe if you start making friends of the opposite sex you should watch to see if they have other intentions. It may look like jealousy in some cases, but in most cases your partner will pick up on the other persons intentions before you do BECAUSE they are looking for them and are defensive. This isn't wrong as it's natural to want to protect your relationship from people who want to get in the middle of it. My girlfriend of five years had a friend (built like a brick S*** house, army guy, decent guy, romantic) whom always put his problems on her, I warned her to watch him and she got angry at my "jealousy". I didn't try and forbid her to see him or get angry she spent time with him, but I knew he was interested. He eventually went in for a kiss one night and I got a call from her crying. So just be weary of your friends intentions with you, other than that their should be no problems. Also, no one should be angry with you for picking someone up drunk, that is an admirable quality you possess and it amazes me at how many people will not do this. Hope this helps PS. We are very happy together and I JUST GOT ENGAGED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottish⑦Canuck Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 PS. We are very happy together and I JUST GOT ENGAGED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aGENT Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Communication and trust. If you communicate clearly to her (and follow through with it) that your friend is JUST a friend and she can't trust you that that's the case... your relationship is not likely to survive long. Being in a relationship with someone who demands you excommunicate long standing friends is a GIANT red flag IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goalie13 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 PS. We are very happy together and I JUST GOT ENGAGED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Heffy Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Get a better girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dittohead Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 oh, this will turn out well. better keep what phone numbers you have handy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonMexico Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 You are better off not getting involved in these type of situations. This only makes your life difficult. Your lady is obviously jealous and well she should be. Why are you picking up drunk girls at any hour of the night that is not your sister or your girl? Better yet, why is she calling you? She likely has many other single friends who can pick her up. Yet she chooses you, knowing full well how your lady will react. I know you are just trying to be her friend, which in a guy's mind is no big deal, but not in a woman's mind. Next time, tell her to take a cab. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EoH Posted September 21, 2012 Author Share Posted September 21, 2012 Not sure what you mean by the 'set' of rules it comes with? Do you mean the common sense rules that govern a relationship such as don't boink anyone else. Or does your relationship have special rules that you had to agree to? If it's the latter and all you did was help an old friend when they found themselves in a pickle. Then I suggest to remove yourself from this relationship. I see nothing wrong with helping an old friend in a time of need. In fact, it probably falls under the set of 'rules' that govern friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MashedBananas Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 You can meet people of the opposite gender.... as long as your girlfriend doesn't dump you for some hotshot...sorry was that out loud? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottish⑦Canuck Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 You are better off not getting involved in these type of situations. This only makes your life difficult. Your lady is obviously jealous and well she should be. Why are you picking up drunk girls at any hour of the night that is not your sister or your girl? Better yet, why is she calling you? She likely has many other single friends who can pick her up. Yet she chooses you, knowing full well how your lady will react. I know you are just trying to be her friend, which in a guy's mind is no big deal, but not in a woman's mind. Next time, tell her to take a cab. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EoH Posted September 21, 2012 Author Share Posted September 21, 2012 You are better off not getting involved in these type of situations. This only makes your life difficult. Your lady is obviously jealous and well she should be. Why are you picking up drunk girls at any hour of the night that is not your sister or your girl? Better yet, why is she calling you? She likely has many other single friends who can pick her up. Yet she chooses you, knowing full well how your lady will react. I know you are just trying to be her friend, which in a guy's mind is no big deal, but not in a woman's mind. Next time, tell her to take a cab. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magikal Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 As someone who has already been in his fair share of relationships I can say only this: You are the man in the relationship. Therefore you are always wrong. This is the nature of the beast that is a relationship with a woman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonMexico Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Then accept responsibility the following day when you find out she's missing/been assaulted. If a friend calls me and they seem too drunk to get home safely, then I'm going to go and do the right thing and take her home. Even if it means my girlfriend going mental. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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