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#31 Scottish⑦Canuck

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 11:23 AM

no no, shes calling my other friend that, even though they never met.

she also tells me that I will never do better with any girl and if i do apply things to like generally adding girls on facebook/msn, she say she'll always leave. So far I been quite compliant with all her rules. Even with getting a number, email, facebook from a girl for school related stuff I would need permission.

Thing is I really do love her and wish she would see it my way, but I'm always wrong.


That is ridiculous. Don't let her run your life. You need to sit down and have a long talk I think.
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#32 J.R.

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 11:25 AM

no no, shes calling my other friend that, even though they never met.

she also tells me that I will never do better with any girl and if i do apply things to like generally adding girls on facebook/msn, she say she'll always leave. So far I been quite compliant with all her rules. Even with getting a number, email, facebook from a girl for school related stuff I would need permission.

Thing is I really do love her and wish she would see it my way, but I'm always wrong.


It sounds to me like your GF does not want to be on equal footing with you in the relationship. Unless she can do that, I'd let her leave if she threatens it.
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#33 RonMexico

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 11:41 AM

My friends situation wasn't the same and she was not a club, she was drinking with another girls house because her other friend felt pretty down about some problem. She even said not to go do the club because its dangerous and such to go alone, so she was merely trying to comfort one of her own friends. Also, she is not trying to get laid.

The phone call to me was pretty random, however its not like I'm going to leave her there, we've been good friends since the majority of high school and like I said, she told me she tried phoning 2 other people before me, they just couldn't answer. It wasn't that late as well, maybe around 11pm'ish?


So she was at her friend's house drinking and talking about their problems and her friend doesn't offer for her to stay there? With my super mind reading powers, I will guess that you were the topic of discussion during this drunken gabfest and that you were the only one called to come pick her up.

Edited by RonMexico, 21 September 2012 - 12:10 PM.

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#34 Venom52

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 11:44 AM

Your relationship already has major problems. you might as well end it now and save yourself the time. unless she is reeeeaaaallllyyyy hot.
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#35 taxi

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 11:58 AM

I'm guessing a lot of the posters here are really young or have never been in serious longterm relationships. A general ban on hanging out alone with drunk people of the opposite sex late at night is not "ruining your life". That's a pretty standard thing.
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#36 NightHawkSniper

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 12:10 PM

Thank you worst case scenario man.


Have you never heard the phrase, " Hope for the best, plan for the worst"?
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#37 RonMexico

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 12:23 PM

Have you never heard the phrase, " Hope for the best, plan for the worst"?


Yep and it's the risk adverse way to live and I don't live like that. And really, at last check, taking a cab home is not an invitation to be assaulted.
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#38 EoH

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 12:23 PM

I'm guessing a lot of the posters here are really young or have never been in serious longterm relationships. A general ban on hanging out alone with drunk people of the opposite sex late at night is not "ruining your life". That's a pretty standard thing.

I necessarily wasnt hanging out, it was just a driving her home. Im just kinda torn between decisions if she was right, i do believe she has some valid points, but i feel i do as well.

I just dont know if the end result is what i want. I mean sure she is fun to be around with and she does normally have have what i want for the future, but i dont know if i could live the fact i have to be somewhat having someone peep over my shoulder every few minutes.
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#39 J.R.

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 12:30 PM

*
POPULAR

I'm guessing a lot of the posters here are really young or have never been in serious longterm relationships. A general ban on hanging out alone with drunk people of the opposite sex late at night is not "ruining your life". That's a pretty standard thing.


I'm married. If my wife acted like that, she wouldn't be my wife.

She doesn't trust him and they obviously have a communication issue beyond that as well. Unless something changes, that is not a healthy relationship. Period.

Also he wasn't "hanging out". He helped a frined in need get home safely.

Also I hang out drunk with my best friend who's a girl all the time without my wife. She has NO issues with it as she we have a trusting relationship with good communication.
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#40 RonMexico

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 12:40 PM

Why haven't these two birds ever met? They both seem to be important enough in your life that you would want them to get along.
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#41 Squeak

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 12:45 PM

I'm guessing a lot of the posters here are really young or have never been in serious longterm relationships. A general ban on hanging out alone with drunk people of the opposite sex late at night is not "ruining your life". That's a pretty standard thing.


Nope.

I am married, and as J.R. said - if my wife was like that, she wouldn't be my wife.

People's safety is far more important then jealousy.
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#42 Canuck_83

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 12:49 PM

Sounds like your gf is being overly jealous. With that said, meeting and hanging out with friends of the opposite sex is a case-by-case subject. You may not have ulterior motives, but you don't know what are the intentions of the other person. I think that most cases are nothing more than just friendship though.

One of my best friends is a guy and, when we met (through work), he was in a relationship (engaged, in fact). He has told me that if I was ever in a situation where I needed him to pick me up, he'd do it. BUT he would be my last resort because I think there are some discretions that I should take even though the intentions are purely platonic.

I've met and hung out with his wife and she's perfectly fine with me, so maybe you should arrange for your gf to meet your friends.
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#43 EoH

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 12:51 PM

Why haven't these two birds ever met? They both seem to be important enough in your life that you would want them to get along.


The reason they havent met is that we have a totally different friends, we met each other in a class, and she feels awkward about meeting her said. Aside from that, most of my friends know that girl as well, and she wants me to slowly weed them out cause she doesnt want to be associated with her in anyway
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#44 Squeak

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 12:52 PM

The reason they havent met is that we have a totally different friends, we met each other in a class, and she feels awkward about meeting her said. Aside from that, most of my friends know that girl as well, and she wants me to slowly weed them out cause she doesnt want to be associated with her in anyway


Is this girl worth trading all your friends in for?

Sure doesn't sound like it.
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#45 TOMapleLaughs

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 12:58 PM

'So drunk chick has nobody else to call?'

That's probably what relationship chick is thinking. That drunk chick is meddling at the least. Attempting a booty call at worst.

I'd invite relationship chick along for the ride to put her fears at ease. Kinda surprised she hasn't invited herself to be a third wheel already. Isn't that what relationship chicks do? Mark their territory?
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#46 zombieksa

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 01:28 PM

Why didn't your friend arrange her own transportation home? When you go places do you have zero plan of getting back?


Irresponsible friends taking off with ride, spending too much and not having cab fare, forgetting about a cab because your too shmammered, etc. If I know anything from my escapades on the town is that as soon as you hit a few drinks those plans you made are generally out the window.
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#47 zombieksa

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 01:30 PM

'So drunk chick has nobody else to call?'

That's probably what relationship chick is thinking. That drunk chick is meddling at the least. Attempting a booty call at worst.

I'd invite relationship chick along for the ride to put her fears at ease. Kinda surprised she hasn't invited herself to be a third wheel already. Isn't that what relationship chicks do? Mark their territory?


Well maybe in high school. Generally in a civilized adult relationship things like this are not needed and men can give single women rides home when they are intoxicate without consulting the missus.
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#48 ManUtd

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 01:35 PM

You definitely need to talk to her about this. Don't let her dictate who you can and can't be friends with. I lost a good friend because his wife wouldn't let him have any female friends after she somehow found out that his grandma had always hoped we would get together. I could not have been less interested if I tried but that really didn't matter to her. Even if that is a valid reason for her to not allow a friendship between us it certainly isn't a good enough one for all the other female friends he had to give up. Don't let your girlfriend do that to you. You aren't the only one losing out in that situation all your former friends are too.
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#49 Aladeen

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 01:39 PM

Life is an easier game to win if you have less rules for it!
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#50 taxi

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 01:46 PM

Well maybe in high school. Generally in a civilized adult relationship things like this are not needed and men can give single women rides home when they are intoxicate without consulting the missus.


haha....yes as you get more "adult" and closer to and beyond marriage, women love it when you spend time late at night with drunk women alone. You've got a lot to learn. From someone in his 30s, enjoy the ride.
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#51 :D

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 02:04 PM

Your girlfriend sounds domineering yet insecure. I would echo the call to get out of that relationship, but because you have been making excuses against confronting her about it or whether she is in the wrong in the first place, I know you won't.

If you have longtime female friends that need an emergency ride, ask your girlfriend if she would like to come along. Unless you are picking these ladies up on a bicycle, you should have enough seats. This would show your girlfriend that you have nothing to hide, and it retains your hand in the relationship.

As it is, your justifying her overbearing set of rules that she has bestowed onto this relationship is just sliding you down the slippery slope into "Yes, dear" territory. There's nothing wrong with being there, some men prefer it. But be clear that it is where you are and what you have become.
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#52 zombieksa

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 02:04 PM

haha....yes as you get more "adult" and closer to and beyond marriage, women love it when you spend time late at night with drunk women alone. You've got a lot to learn. From someone in his 30s, enjoy the ride.


Age does not always dictate experience. I may only be mid-twenties but I have had enough negative experiences with alcohol (others, not myself) and so has my now fiance. We have both driven drunk friends of the opposite sex home without the other being aware. The next morning we just sort of say good job, and let that be. I AM enjoying the ride.
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#53 :D

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 02:04 PM

He has told me that if I was ever in a situation where I needed him to pick me up, he'd do it. BUT he would be my last resort because I think there are some discretions that I should take even though the intentions are purely platonic.


I'll pick you up and you won't even have to worry about upsetting anyone.
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#54 taxi

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 02:15 PM

Age does not always dictate experience. I may only be mid-twenties but I have had enough negative experiences with alcohol (others, not myself) and so has my now fiance. We have both driven drunk friends of the opposite sex home without the other being aware. The next morning we just sort of say good job, and let that be. I AM enjoying the ride.


A difference between driving people home, and leaving at midnight to go pick up a drunk girl. And no, once again, as you get closer to marriage women do not get more okay with that.
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#55 J.R.

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 02:17 PM

haha....yes as you get more "adult" and closer to and beyond marriage, women love it when you spend time late at night with drunk women alone. You've got a lot to learn. From someone in his 30s, enjoy the ride.


There's a big difference between having some drinks with a close friend (who happens to be the opposite sex) whom you both know and "spending time late at night with drunk women alone".

If you or her can't tell the difference, can't openly talk about the difference and not trust each other enough to not cross any obvious lines that would illustrate the difference, you have bigger problems.
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#56 jmfaminoff

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 02:19 PM

She is insecure and immature. Suppose you get married one day, do you really want to be controlled like that? I think you know this is a wrong situation. Tell her that you have enjoyed the past you have spent together, but it is over. And if she asks why, tell her that you cannot live being controlled like that. It is easier fixing the problem now than spending thirty grand on a wedding and divorcing within a year due to irreconcilable differences.

Edited by jmfaminoff, 21 September 2012 - 02:22 PM.

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#57 zombieksa

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 02:19 PM

A difference between driving people home, and leaving at midnight to go pick up a drunk girl. And no, once again, as you get closer to marriage women do not get more okay with that.


I'm not going to argue on this. Maybe i am just absurdly lucky, and am really wrong about women other than my own. But I would like to believe that the majority of women 25+ trust their men enough to do something like this. If it takes them 3 hours to get home I can understand the dilemma, maybe. I don't know.
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#58 jmfaminoff

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 02:24 PM

I'm not going to argue on this. Maybe i am just absurdly lucky, and am really wrong about women other than my own. But I would like to believe that the majority of women 25+ trust their men enough to do something like this. If it takes them 3 hours to get home I can understand the dilemma, maybe. I don't know.

A real man rises to the occassion, helps his friends out, and does not take advantage of a drunk woman.
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#59 zombieksa

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 02:26 PM

A real man rises to the occassion, helps his friends out, and does not take advantage of a drunk woman.


exactly my point.
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#60 jmfaminoff

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Posted 21 September 2012 - 02:32 PM

exactly my point.

A woman who knows her husband/boyfriend is steadfast and faithful, she is not insecure and irrational when a situation like this happens.
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