Sharpshooter Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 As I said, it's a last resort. If a child is having a tantrum etc and is unreachable to communicate with in more standard means, a quick pat on the but can get their attention. Personally, I hope to never have to use it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aGENT Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 You couldn't figure out an alternative way to 'get their attention'? I still don't understand this 'last resort' mentality. Are you suggesting that you would try every method possible first and if they fail then you'd resort to 'lightly rapping' your child? You really think that all the possible alternatives wouldn't be more effective than striking a child? Also, consider that while you may intend your light, gentle 'love-tap' to be a corrective measure or an attention getter....that isn't necessarily going to be how it's interpreted by the child. Read that article I posted above again. There's no harm in changing your opinion on this matter either. Sometimes we tend to get entrenched in our positions, even ones we're not overly attached to. Just throwing that out there bud. And if you're married to this child rearing technique, then that's alright by me too. I'm just trying to flesh out the discussion a bit, is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharpshooter Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I honestly can't believe anyone finds this "funny". It made me feel sick. The driver did nothing professional in diffusing the situation...he was helping to escalate it. Had he just ignored her, chances are it would have been a done deal. Nope, can't support this one single bit. An act of violence is never the answer, even if in response to an act of violence. Honestly, toss her off the bus and close the door......would have been better than this. I don't condone this idiot girl's actions but, when on the job, you take charge of the situation and this could have ended up a bloody free for all because he was fully engaged in the confrontational aspect of things. If nothing else, the safety of his other passengers was jeopardized by his actions...what if she pulled out a gun? I understand that this incites a positive reaction from viewers because he's seen as the underdog/victim and fights back. But I don't think it was appropriate at all - man, that was quite a blow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharpshooter Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 As I said, I hope to be able to get their attention in other ways and never have to use it but if they're still not responsive I'm not opposed to a light pat on the bum to get their attention. I wouldn't consider a pat on the bum "abusive". Heck I give my dog a pat on his bum when he's good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-DLC- Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 As for spanking, my expert (ha) opinion is that it's usually more about the parents venting at that stage than it is anything constructive. I feel that kids tend to "listen/hear" much better if a parent looks them in the eye and can remain calm...spanking usually shows more of a loss of control and the kid can also lose focus at that point. As a parent, I couldnt' bring myself to spanking my kids because, for me, it breached the trust of "I'll never hurt you". I wanted them always to know I wouldn't but people will argue that that's the problem - kids KNOW they won't be punished. That's not the case - forms of punishment that usually hit them the hardest are when you start stripping away their privileges...that hurts them in a way that doesn't have the potential to emotionally scar them. It's not a right/wrong thing though - it's for each parent to determine themselves (provided it doesn't cross the line). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharpshooter Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 As for spanking, my expert (ha) opinion is that it's usually more about the parents venting at that stage than it is anything constructive. I feel that kids tend to "listen/hear" much better if a parent looks them in the eye and can remain calm...spanking usually shows more of a loss of control and the kid can also lose focus at that point. As a parent, I couldnt' bring myself to spanking my kids because, for me, it breached the trust of "I'll never hurt you". I wanted them always to know I wouldn't but people will argue that that's the problem - kids KNOW they won't be punished. That's not the case - forms of punishment that usually hit them the hardest are when you start stripping away their privileges...that hurts them in a way that doesn't have the potential to emotionally scar them. It's not a right/wrong thing though - it's for each parent to determine themselves (provided it doesn't cross the line). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jägermeister Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 IMO, there is no wrong or right answer to spanking or other mild forms of physical punishment. Some children will respond positively, and others will respond negatively. At the same time, other forms of punishment (time-outs, sitting in a corner, lectures) will work on some children but not others. Is it the best option? Probably not, especially if it were to be used as the primary form of punishment. But for some kids in some cases it could very well be the best option available. Personally, I would prefer never having to spank my future kids. Of course for the most part these "out of control" kids are to blame because of poor parenting. I work as a lifeguard, and I have had to teach some children that 100% do not responding to any sort of punishment (making them sit at the edge of the pool, not letting them play games, etc) and are completely out of control. When you add in the fact I have 3-5 other kids I have to supervise at the same time, it is obviously a big problem if I have to give so much attention to just one. So I go and talk to their parents and ask them if they have any tips that could help me get their kid under control, and it's amazing how often I get a nice little "yeah little so-and-so can be a handful sometimes!" or "they're just getting excited from swimming!", and get no other input. Then they get mad at me when I fail their kid because they wouldn't listen and was busy goofing off all lesson. My sister is also a lifeguard, and she actually had a mother try and file a complaint on her for sitting a kid (he was about 3 or 4) up on the side of the pool because he kept running away into the deep end. It's always been a wonder to me that parents don't realize that if the treat their child like a spoiled brat, then they are probably going to become a spoiled brat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jester@wraiths.ca Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I'm surprised that there are some really intelligent folks in this thread advocating for physically assaulting their children as a means for discipline. The obliviousness to perpetuating the notion that you should use physical violence to solve your problems, especially with young children is remarkable. Is it safe to assume you people hit your pets as well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MillerGenuineDraft Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I am ever so thankful I do not live in a place like this. By "this" I mean a 14 year old girl screaming "nigga" every 5 seconds. Dear god. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tearloch7 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 As I said, I hope to be able to get their attention in other ways and never have to use it but if they're still not responsive I'm not opposed to a light pat on the bum to get their attention. I wouldn't consider a pat on the bum "abusive". Heck I give my dog a pat on his bum when he's good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aGENT Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 IMO, there is no wrong or right answer to spanking or other mild forms of physical punishment. Some children will respond positively, and others will respond negatively. At the same time, other forms of punishment (time-outs, sitting in a corner, lectures) will work on some children but not others. Is it the best option? Probably not, especially if it were to be used as the primary form of punishment. But for some kids in some cases it could very well be the best option available. Personally, I would prefer never having to spank my future kids. Of course for the most part these "out of control" kids are to blame because of poor parenting. I work as a lifeguard, and I have had to teach some children that 100% do not responding to any sort of punishment (making them sit at the edge of the pool, not letting them play games, etc) and are completely out of control. When you add in the fact I have 3-5 other kids I have to supervise at the same time, it is obviously a big problem if I have to give so much attention to just one. So I go and talk to their parents and ask them if they have any tips that could help me get their kid under control, and it's amazing how often I get a nice little "yeah little so-and-so can be a handful sometimes!" or "they're just getting excited from swimming!", and get no other input. Then they get mad at me when I fail their kid because they wouldn't listen and was busy goofing off all lesson. My sister is also a lifeguard, and she actually had a mother try and file a complaint on her for sitting a kid (he was about 3 or 4) up on the side of the pool because he kept running away into the deep end. It's always been a wonder to me that parents don't realize that if the treat their child like a spoiled brat, then they are probably going to become a spoiled brat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jägermeister Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Both these posts seem to clearly indicate a need for BETTER PARENTING, not physical punishment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aGENT Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Yep. The thing that bugs me most at work is parents trying to justify their childs actions when they were clearly misbehaving, and putting other kids at risk. It happens far too often. I feel like those parents haven't even tried to control their child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aGENT Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I just KNEW you were a perv .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharpshooter Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 No matter how evolved we get, people do learn because of consequences. In today's "discipline" for children, what exactly are the consequences? I see far more poorly behaved kids than I ever remember seeing when I was young. When I see them all I can think is "wow, if I'd done that, my mom/dad would have spanked me". That possibility of spanking meant acting poorly had an actual consequence I wouldn't want to have happen. Now, I see kids running the show. What are you gonna do, "you're in time out"? Fine the kid can sit there in "time out" and scream his head off or just keep on doing what he was doing anyways. There is no deterrent, no consequence that teaches someone not to behave a certain way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLASSJAW Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 good grief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronthecivil Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Good point. Another option would be to talk to the child about that $200 composite stick and agree to buy it for him, if he agrees that they'd have to cut back with other luxury purchases like video games, or junk food trips to McDonalds, or other things, so that he becomes involved with the purchasing/sacrificing process. It not only teaches him that in order to get what he wants, he'll have to make sacrifices(which is a good lesson to learn early imo) but that there's a value to money, and in learning about living within one's means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharpshooter Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Or better yet remind the bastard that outside of clothing, food, shelter, and medical attention everything else is a privilege. In the meantime go out and find a five dollar stick as a replacement and institute a period of additional chores to pay for the 60 dollar stick in addition to a removal of thing like video games and junk food. The sooner one knocks the sense of entitlement out of someone (many adults could use this) the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dellins Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Yep. The thing that bugs me most at work is parents trying to justify their childs actions when they were clearly misbehaving, and putting other kids at risk. It happens far too often. I feel like those parents haven't even tried to control their child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buddhas Hand Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Good point. Another option would be to talk to the child about that $200 composite stick and agree to buy it for him, if he agrees that they'd have to cut back with other luxury purchases like video games, or junk food trips to McDonalds, or other things, so that he becomes involved with the purchasing/sacrificing process. It not only teaches him that in order to get what he wants, he'll have to make sacrifices(which is a good lesson to learn early imo) but that there's a value to money, and in learning about living within one's means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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