Jump to content

Welcome to canucks.com Vancouver Canucks homepage

Photo
- - - - -

Allow Me To Give You Lighthearted Advice [Completely Free Service]


  • Please log in to reply
71 replies to this topic

#31 Strawberries

Strawberries

    Canucks Regular

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,563 posts
  • Joined: 24-February 09

Posted 18 October 2012 - 09:26 PM

rubber or no rubber?
  • 0
Posted Image

#32 BananaMash

BananaMash

    xX_qUiCkScOpEz_Xx

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,396 posts
  • Joined: 23-May 10

Posted 18 October 2012 - 09:27 PM

rubber or no rubber?


Sheep intestine.
  • 0

FWYIerW.png


#33 debluvscanucks

debluvscanucks

    Canucks Hall-of-Famer

  • Super Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 24,975 posts
  • Joined: 19-February 08

Posted 18 October 2012 - 09:34 PM

I am the only female working in an all male workplace. Now, while most females would love that situation - the men keep sneaking in and using MY (the female) washroom because it's clean and theirs has pee everywhere. What can I do about this?

I have tried:

shaming them
putting a reindeer headband with bells on the handle so it rings when someone enters

My cheapass boss keeps saying he'll put a lock on it, but doesn't.

What can I do oh wise one?
  • 0

Posted Image


#34 BananaMash

BananaMash

    xX_qUiCkScOpEz_Xx

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,396 posts
  • Joined: 23-May 10

Posted 18 October 2012 - 09:40 PM

*
POPULAR

I am the only female working in an all male workplace. Now, while most females would love that situation - the men keep sneaking in and using MY (the female) washroom because it's clean and theirs has pee everywhere. What can I do about this?

I have tried:

shaming them
putting a reindeer headband with bells on the handle so it rings when someone enters

My cheapass boss keeps saying he'll put a lock on it, but doesn't.

What can I do oh wise one?


Okay I have a few options for you.

1) Soak some tampons in raspberry crystal light. It might not look quite accurate, but a guy who sees this will be startled and wont even notice. Put one on every toilet seat in the women's washroom. It will be hilarious, and discourage male visitors.

2) Pee everywhere so yours isn't nearly as nice.

3) Fill a motion scent release with vile strong dollar store perfume and aim it at the toilets. You will be wise enough to be able to stop it, they will not. They get to spend the rest of the day smelling like an old woman.

4) Groin kick.

5) Glue a dollar to the floor, so when a guy goes in he will be enticed by the loonie. You will hear him go into the washroom due to the bells. While he's distracted by the loonie, bull-rush into there with a camera and take pictures of him in the female washroom. Hand out these photos to everyone.

Edited by BananaMash, 18 October 2012 - 09:40 PM.

  • 10

FWYIerW.png


#35 Bork Laser

Bork Laser

    WWE Champion

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,381 posts
  • Joined: 24-October 10

Posted 18 October 2012 - 09:55 PM

Okay I have a few options for you.

1) Soak some tampons in raspberry crystal light. It might not look quite accurate, but a guy who sees this will be startled and wont even notice. Put one on every toilet seat in the women's washroom. It will be hilarious, and discourage male visitors.

2) Pee everywhere so yours isn't nearly as nice.

3) Fill a motion scent release with vile strong dollar store perfume and aim it at the toilets. You will be wise enough to be able to stop it, they will not. They get to spend the rest of the day smelling like an old woman.

4) Groin kick.

5) Glue a dollar to the floor, so when a guy goes in he will be enticed by the loonie. You will hear him go into the washroom due to the bells. While he's distracted by the loonie, bull-rush into there with a camera and take pictures of him in the female washroom. Hand out these photos to everyone.

May I add something to there? As The Peoples Champ, you should tell the jabronis.... And I quote to "Know you role and shut your mouth" if they don't comply, tell them that The Peoples Champ himself will take them to Know Your Role Boulevard and check them right in to the Smackdown Hotel where I layeth the Smacketh down on those jabronis.
  • 2
Posted Image
 
Credit to Twilight Sparkle

#36 SkeeterHansen

SkeeterHansen

    Canucks Third-Line

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,142 posts
  • Joined: 24-May 11

Posted 18 October 2012 - 10:10 PM

I need a haircut but have no money. What should I do, knower-of-all?
  • 0

/=S=/


#37 BananaMash

BananaMash

    xX_qUiCkScOpEz_Xx

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,396 posts
  • Joined: 23-May 10

Posted 18 October 2012 - 10:16 PM

I need a haircut but have no money. What should I do, knower-of-all?


If you're filled with Play-Doh, just smoosh it all back it.
  • 0

FWYIerW.png


#38 White Goodman

White Goodman

    Comets Prospect

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 145 posts
  • Joined: 30-July 12

Posted 19 October 2012 - 02:36 AM

How can i possibly get a "victoryection", as your post in "Re:My relationship with a girl" made me wonder what a "victoryection" is and how do i get one?
  • 0
Posted Image

#39 BananaMash

BananaMash

    xX_qUiCkScOpEz_Xx

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,396 posts
  • Joined: 23-May 10

Posted 19 October 2012 - 04:06 PM

How can i possibly get a "victoryection", as your post in "Re:My relationship with a girl" made me wonder what a "victoryection" is and how do i get one?


Victoryection is an erection from completing a major task,. Just be awesome and you will gain one.
  • 0

FWYIerW.png


#40 White Goodman

White Goodman

    Comets Prospect

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 145 posts
  • Joined: 30-July 12

Posted 19 October 2012 - 06:57 PM

Victoryection is an erection from completing a major task,. Just be awesome and you will gain one.

Thank you good sir, you have just taught me a great lesson about life.
  • 0
Posted Image

#41 That's What She Said

That's What She Said

    Canucks Rookie

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,530 posts
  • Joined: 03-September 06

Posted 19 October 2012 - 07:41 PM

What is the best method for mashing bananas?
  • 0
Why not Zoidberg? (\/)(°,,,°)(\/)

#42 EX_Bert_Worshipper

EX_Bert_Worshipper

    Canucks Rookie

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,834 posts
  • Joined: 27-January 06

Posted 19 October 2012 - 09:18 PM

I used to play Oblivion all the time (for years) until Skyrim came out. Skyrim was so amazing and it's graphics and gameplay FAR outweighed Oblivion. But, Skyrim doesn't have the same "home" or "cozy" feel that Oblivion did. I've tried going back to Oblivion, but Skyrim has dashed a lot of the magic of Oblivion for me.
What should I do?
  • 0
Posted Image

#43 BananaMash

BananaMash

    xX_qUiCkScOpEz_Xx

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,396 posts
  • Joined: 23-May 10

Posted 19 October 2012 - 09:19 PM

What is the best method for mashing bananas?


My favorite method is to put them all in a wine barrel and stomp them.
  • 0

FWYIerW.png


#44 Kazmanian Devil

Kazmanian Devil

    Not your average poster

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,657 posts
  • Joined: 08-July 10

Posted 19 October 2012 - 10:52 PM

How do I kidnap the Backstreet Boys?
  • 0

eLQIE3l.png

Please come home </3

 


#45 Bork Laser

Bork Laser

    WWE Champion

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,381 posts
  • Joined: 24-October 10

Posted 19 October 2012 - 10:54 PM

How do I kidnap the Backstreet Boys?

Hey Mash, can I give him advice for this one?
  • 0
Posted Image
 
Credit to Twilight Sparkle

#46 BananaMash

BananaMash

    xX_qUiCkScOpEz_Xx

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,396 posts
  • Joined: 23-May 10

Posted 19 October 2012 - 10:55 PM

Hey Mash, can I give him advice for this one?


Permission granted.
  • 0

FWYIerW.png


#47 Bork Laser

Bork Laser

    WWE Champion

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,381 posts
  • Joined: 24-October 10

Posted 19 October 2012 - 11:04 PM

Permission granted.

Thanks

How do I kidnap the Backstreet Boys?


Ok, here is what you do. The great one says you buy tickets to the next Backstreet Boys concert. Then you should go to your local Wal-Mart buy bags big enough to fit each member of the band, as well get pie, because The Rock loves pie. When you get to the concert with buddies, sneak backstage, kidnap them and run off to the vehicle. As well to make sure the bag is a bit open so they can breathe. From there you go down to Know Your Role Boulevard which is on the corner of Jabroni Drive and check them directly into the Smackdown Hotel!, where you proceed to kick ALL THEIR CANDYASSES!
  • 0
Posted Image
 
Credit to Twilight Sparkle

#48 Bitter Melon

Bitter Melon

    Canucks Regular

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,040 posts
  • Joined: 04-August 11

Posted 19 October 2012 - 11:04 PM

What should I do about the voices in my head? They keep telling me to burn things.
  • 0

#49 Kazmanian Devil

Kazmanian Devil

    Not your average poster

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,657 posts
  • Joined: 08-July 10

Posted 19 October 2012 - 11:06 PM

Ok, here is what you do. The great one says you buy tickets to the next Backstreet Boys concert. Then you should go to your local Wal-Mart buy bags big enough to fit each member of the band, as well get pie, because The Rock loves pie. When you get to the concert with buddies, sneak backstage, kidnap them and run off to the vehicle. As well to make sure the bag is a bit open so they can breathe. From there you go down to Know Your Role Boulevard which is on the corner of Jabroni Drive and check them directly into the Smackdown Hotel!, where you proceed to kick ALL THEIR CANDYASSES!


I'll report back with my results.
  • 0

eLQIE3l.png

Please come home </3

 


#50 Bork Laser

Bork Laser

    WWE Champion

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,381 posts
  • Joined: 24-October 10

Posted 19 October 2012 - 11:07 PM

What should I do about the voices in my head? They keep telling me to burn things.

I got advice for you too.


This would either help you or make the voices in your head get worse.
  • 0
Posted Image
 
Credit to Twilight Sparkle

#51 BananaMash

BananaMash

    xX_qUiCkScOpEz_Xx

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,396 posts
  • Joined: 23-May 10

Posted 19 October 2012 - 11:38 PM

I used to play Oblivion all the time (for years) until Skyrim came out. Skyrim was so amazing and it's graphics and gameplay FAR outweighed Oblivion. But, Skyrim doesn't have the same "home" or "cozy" feel that Oblivion did. I've tried going back to Oblivion, but Skyrim has dashed a lot of the magic of Oblivion for me.
What should I do?


Try and find some graphics mods for Oblivion. I've seen some out there that bring it pretty close to Skyrim levels if you're playing on a PC.

I've never played any of them however, but that's what I would do.
  • 1

FWYIerW.png


#52 Biznow

Biznow

    Comets Regular

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 321 posts
  • Joined: 14-December 06

Posted 20 October 2012 - 08:47 AM

I'm an overweight male, should I lose some poundage, or just be happy that I have my own boobs to play with?
  • 0

Posted Image~Biznow


#53 Niloc009

Niloc009

    Canucks Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,784 posts
  • Joined: 12-October 09

Posted 20 October 2012 - 09:44 AM

Texted my girlfriend this morning, my phone says she read it, but she hasn't replied yet.

What's the best way to break up with her?
  • 0

zuhwS.gif


#54 debluvscanucks

debluvscanucks

    Canucks Hall-of-Famer

  • Super Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 24,975 posts
  • Joined: 19-February 08

Posted 20 October 2012 - 10:27 AM

Texted my girlfriend this morning, my phone says she read it, but she hasn't replied yet.

What's the best way to break up with her?


Oh, oh, I really want to answer this one in a prelude until the mighty Oz gets here.

Fed Ex. With a note that says, "INSERT 'UP'. (Fed Up Ex)

She won't know what the hell it means/is about, then don't answer her calls/texts.
  • 0

Posted Image


#55 BananaMash

BananaMash

    xX_qUiCkScOpEz_Xx

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,396 posts
  • Joined: 23-May 10

Posted 20 October 2012 - 06:21 PM

I'm an overweight male, should I lose some poundage, or just be happy that I have my own boobs to play with?


Lose poundage, get ripped, acquire many other boobies to play with.

Texted my girlfriend this morning, my phone says she read it, but she hasn't replied yet.

What's the best way to break up with her?


Debs idea is really creative, and better than mine. However, I think you should start getting really overly attached. Text her stuff like "I miss your scent", or "I hope you grow up to be like your mom, because I want to wed your mother".

Oh, oh, I really want to answer this one in a prelude until the mighty Oz gets here.

Fed Ex. With a note that says, "INSERT 'UP'. (Fed Up Ex)

She won't know what the hell it means/is about, then don't answer her calls/texts.


Did you deal with your potty troubles?
  • 0

FWYIerW.png


#56 JimLahey

JimLahey

    Canucks Prospect

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,477 posts
  • Joined: 03-September 12

Posted 20 October 2012 - 06:26 PM

Should/can I buy some of your hair?
  • 0

hL9YqYN.jpg


#57 BananaMash

BananaMash

    xX_qUiCkScOpEz_Xx

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,396 posts
  • Joined: 23-May 10

Posted 20 October 2012 - 06:27 PM

Should/can I buy some of your hair?


Depending on the quantity of the hair, we can arrange this.
  • 0

FWYIerW.png


#58 LMAO

LMAO

    Comets Prospect

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 193 posts
  • Joined: 27-February 09

Posted 20 October 2012 - 09:54 PM

How can i possibly get a "victoryection", as your post in "Re:My relationship with a girl" made me wonder what a "victoryection" is and how do i get one?

That was my thread. Advice was taken from posts. Victoryection was achieved but she only wants to be f buddies basically. It ends out she was cheated on in her past relationship so she wants to take it slow and is confused right now. We could continue to be f buddies and she'd continue to be loyal to me like that but I peaced' the scene today. My patience is low. When she's ready for something i'm sure she'll knock on my door.
  • 0
Posted Image
Posted Image
"Kanyeezzzy and Burreeezzzy"

#59 One one two

One one two

    Got skipped

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 8,061 posts
  • Joined: 14-April 09

Posted 20 October 2012 - 10:08 PM

I've recently discovered that I have a new found interest: drawing. Problem is, I have never at any point in time wanted to learn to draw beforehand and have no idea where to start. Been fooling around with pen and paper a bit, just drawing random images I find via the interwebs... Obviously I suck seeing as I'm a complete beginner, but that's ok, I'm not gonna be a Picasso right off the bat (or ever). I'm willing to spend time on getting better.

Where do I start exactly? Are there some sites that I should take a look at? Can you offer me a few tips yourself? What do?

Edited by One one two, 20 October 2012 - 10:09 PM.

  • 0

#60 BananaMash

BananaMash

    xX_qUiCkScOpEz_Xx

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,396 posts
  • Joined: 23-May 10

Posted 20 October 2012 - 10:19 PM

I've recently discovered that I have a new found interest: drawing. Problem is, I have never at any point in time wanted to learn to draw beforehand and have no idea where to start. Been fooling around with pen and paper a bit, just drawing random images I find via the interwebs... Obviously I suck seeing as I'm a complete beginner, but that's ok, I'm not gonna be a Picasso right off the bat (or ever). I'm willing to spend time on getting better.

Where do I start exactly? Are there some sites that I should take a look at? Can you offer me a few tips yourself? What do?


I'm not a drawer, so I don't know. I would look up some basic tutorials on drawing form and stuff and go from there.
  • 0

FWYIerW.png



0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Canucks.com is the official Web site of The Vancouver Canucks. The Vancouver Canucks and Canucks.com are trademarks of The Vancouver Canucks Limited Partnership.  NHL and the word mark and image of the Stanley Cup are registered trademarks and the NHL Shield and NHL Conference logos are trademarks of the National Hockey League. All NHL logos and marks and NHL team logos and marks as well as all other proprietary materials depicted herein are the property of the NHL and the respective NHL teams and may not be reproduced without the prior written consent of NHL Enterprises, L.P.  Copyright © 2009 The Vancouver Canucks Limited Partnership and the National Hockey League.  All Rights Reserved.