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Teen Tweets I Give Up Before Jumping In Front of Subway Train


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#181 sedated

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 03:39 AM

Stuff like this is just ridiculous. Bullying, racism, and homophobia.

When something happens to a kid, a person that's something other than white, or someone who likes the same gender, it is suddenly made into a big deal. People harp on it, talk about it, to the point you get sick of hearing about it. Then soon, it disappears.

But when this happens, everything becomes extremely sensitive. People fuss about bullies, but so many people honestly just do not give enough of a crap for anything to change. They might rant about it, say it's terrible, but that's all it will add up to. Nothing actually changes. And in the end, because it's such a 'huge' thing, it actually just makes it worse, because kids will just keep doing it and doing it, because they now know it's effective, draws attention, and nothing will really happen to them for it.

I find that the whole thing about black people, the whole first black president, black people getting money. Why does it become about 'black' people? It gets beaten to death whenever a hate crime or something comes up, and then everyone gets very aware, and sensitive about the subject which ends up being.. yeah, black people. So then immediately people start thinking about black people like they're this rare, or special thing, and they end up going out of their way to treat them different.

Exactly the same thing with gay people. Five years ago, I honestly didn't care if someone was gay. I knew someone who was gay in high school, he seemed nice, people liked him. Whoopee. But then, I hear so much in the news, so much in articles, and all this stuff, even I have been made sensitive and think of gay people as something different than normal. And honestly? I think it's crap.

The media spins things wildly out of control and overblows it, people who read online suddenly have a voice, and decide to use it, everyone gets riled up, but then no one ever does anything about what they complain, or speak out against. And everything becomes more and more volatile and sensitive. Social media has been such a horrible thing to happen to society. While it has made people more aware, giving such indifferent, uncaring individuals so much voice and useless knowledge just seems to spell bad news.

It seemed like in the past, people use to do bad things, but society at least had it in their head that it was wrong, so you didn't hear or see as much hate things, bullying, and stuff like that. But now, so many people with distorted views see that there's others like them, and it just seems to be empowering people for bad, instead of good.

I genuinely dislike the way society has changed and morphed since things like facebook and twitter became so popular. I mean, crap. I use to have good friends, that were nice, good people. And all they did, was start to visit 4chan frequently. I actually saw these people turn into douchebags, just because of that one site, and the way it operates and draws in odd people. It's like things like that and twitter and facebook honestly just bring out the worst in people.

#182 Dellins

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 03:44 AM

She made some sh*tty choices, and you have to deal with the consequences. Should this have happened? Absolutely not. But if you make a wrong decision, you have to be responsible for your actions.


I agree with what you are saying, but in cases like this one, the person's mental state has to be taken into account. A normal person could take responsibility if they wanted to, but someone with depression? Not so simple.

I'm sorry you were deeply offended by the actions of an anonymous stranger.


Man, **** off.

Edited by Dellins, 27 October 2012 - 03:46 AM.


#183 Raoul Duke

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 10:41 AM

The sad part is that this will happen again and again and again and again. And people will make more tribute pages on Facebook and the media will point fingers at who is to blame. And CDC will will argue for pages and pages. And bleeding hearts will defend the victims and attention whores will blame the victims.

I hate that this happens. It's sad that someone took their own life. But it's going to happen again. I'm just gonna live my life and enjoy my 4 month old boy and teach him how to be a real human being, the way I was raised. That's my way to help this cause.

And Bertuzzi Babe, you seem like a sweetheart, so I would probably just walk away from this thread. It's only gonna anger you and no discussion will help that.

Edited by Raoul Duke, 27 October 2012 - 11:58 AM.

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#184 kurtis

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 01:36 PM

Sounds like she had a rough life. Her tweet picture surly couldn't of helped her cause... RIP
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#185 Fathoms

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 02:01 PM


wordings...

#186 RUPERTKBD

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 02:02 PM

Just because people type they care, and reiterate by typing yet again that they care, doesn't mean they actually care. It is horrible that bullies exist, and it's even worse that people commit suicide over said bully but it doesn't affect me, or even many of you in anyway at all. Some of you may have been bullied but really, does it hit that close to home? Sh*t's going down in Syria and 99.9123445% (pulled that out of nowhere) of people could really care less, why should this be any different?

FTR, I wasn't bullied at school, (although I did have my share of confrontations) so no, this doesn't affect me personally, except inasmuch as I feel bad for the treatment this girl underwent and the fact that she felt she had no other recourse but to take her own life. You can reiterate your statement that because I type something doesn't prove that I actually care, but again, I'l reiterate that you're wrong about that.

I believe that a lot of the apathy evident in this thread has to do with your assertion that this situation doesn't affect them personally. People tend to extrapolate that sentiment to come to the conclusion that if they don't feel any empathy, it naturally follows that others not personally involved, must not feel any empathy either, despite what they might claim. (especially considering the anonymity of an online forum)

However, I believe that incidents like this affect us all, in ways that may not seem evident at first glance. For instance, I have three teenage daughters. On the surface, everything seems to be fine. They have lots of friends and don't seem to have any significant problems. But, the fact that a single incident could change all that, is always in the back of my mind. It's also not out of the question that they could be the ones participating in the bullying.

I do what I can to mitigate these possibilities by showing an interest in their social activities and monitoring their online communications as much as possible, without invading their privacy. I also make an effort to show them the extreme effects that bullying can have and demonstrate to them that participating in bullying is unacceptable.

No parent can claim to have all the bases covered, but as far as I'm concerned, doing what I can is much preferable to sitting back, doing nothing and telling myself that it doesn't affect me.

As far as your statement about Syria goes, again I question your facts, (and more importantly, your figures) however, there's little any of us can do about a political situation in a country half way around the world. There is something we can do about a youth social problem taking place in our own communities.
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#187 JeremyW

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 02:23 PM

Our problems will never simply disappear, unless we do.

I think we need to make people more aware of the idea that in spite of their problems, however many, they can be dealt with and solved. These people aren't solving anything by killing themselves, they are just making everyone else deal with it.

#188 VancouverCanucksRock

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 09:44 PM

Well, guys who like to participate in such an act are pigs and need to be slaughtered. Frickin disgusting.
Posted Image WHen idiots think numbers are words, I do believe in 2012 for cleansing Earth of the idiots

#189 Red Light Racicot

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 03:22 PM

Keyboard empathy is meaningless unless it's converted into action. Christ, it's almost condescending otherwise. I doubt any of those outraged sympathizers in the Todd thread have done a single thing to reach out to the community they so diligently cried for.


You think people ignore this stuff like it didnt even happen? How could parents with children that they love who attend school ignore this kind of thing?

Education and awareness is essential to combat this issue.

Hasnt it occured to you that many of the people who pay respects to these victims might take an interest in educating themselves about what happened?

All that stuff does help. You should keep that in mind, rather then come to your own conclusions because (perhaps) you think people are scum (or something)

If you dont care, then please be quiet. Its ridiculous that you piss on people based on your cynical asumptions.

#190 Buttock

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 04:45 PM

I might sound a little harsh, but this is getting ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, this is a tragedy. But the problem is, with what happened with Amanda Todd, bullied teens are realizing that, by committing suicide, they can get an ultimate revenge on their bullies. They'll be worshipped like they were some saint, and those kids that bullied them will get a taste of their own medicine, with these death threats yelled at them. The dead kid will have died knowing they ruined their tormentors lives, with a horrible guilt that will probably haunt the (in this case, football team,) to their own grave. The teen who died, however tragic a life they had, will become popular, LOVED, something they think no one ever showed them while they were alive. I'm sorry if I sound judgemental, and I don't pretend to know what was going through these kids heads, but I just wish people could care about these kids while they're still alive, and not make these useless facebook memorial pages when they die. R.I.P. Felicia Garcia and Amanda Todd.


+1.

I don't feel like reading seven pages, but I searched and found zero results in this thread for slut-shaming. Instead I read one post inferring that this girl made poor choices and had to deal with the consequences. So let's talk about that. What needs to be made unambiguously clear is that slut shaming is never, ever okay. It is not okay to stigmatize girls for the decisions they make about who to have sex with. It's not okay to do it to boys either, but does that happen regularly? No, it does not. Our culture has outdated and patriarchal attitudes and beliefs about female sexuality. These attitudes and beliefs directly contributed to this girl's decision to kill herself, and they contribute to a whole lot of misery and unhappiness in the world.

Now let's talk about suicide. It's considered rude to speak ill of the dead. And that's not my intention. And I have no idea what kind of misery this girl was dealing with. But martyrdom is extremely uncool and killing yourself is an incredibly selfish thing to do. If you do it, you are a jerk at the very least and should absolutely NOT be celebrated in national news and made into an icon to be used to oppose whatever drove you to commit suicide. It ???? sucks that you decided to make your last action, what you'll ultimately be remembered for by many, a selfish and cruel one. You took the easy way out and that just plain sucks, for you, for your friends, and for your family. That's all on YOU, not the people who you allowed to take control of your life. Take some goddamned responsibility and stand up against bullying instead of becoming a goddamned martyr and a statistic.

Finally, no, the guys who bullied her should absolutely not be charged with a criminal act. Doing so would send the message that the person committing suicide does not bear full responsibility for that decision and would be an attempt to attribute to the bullies a power that they ultimately do not possess. You are responsible for your own attitudes and your own decisions - nobody can ever have power over your attitudes, feelings and emotions unless you give them that power. These guys will have to live with the knowledge of what they have done, and that is enough.

Edited by Buttock, 28 October 2012 - 04:50 PM.


#191 Red Light Racicot

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Posted 29 October 2012 - 01:12 PM

Now let's talk about suicide. It's considered rude to speak ill of the dead. And that's not my intention. And I have no idea what kind of misery this girl was dealing with. But martyrdom is extremely uncool and killing yourself is an incredibly selfish thing to do. If you do it, you are a jerk at the very least and should absolutely NOT be celebrated in national news and made into an icon to be used to oppose whatever drove you to commit suicide. It ???? sucks that you decided to make your last action, what you'll ultimately be remembered for by many, a selfish and cruel one. You took the easy way out and that just plain sucks, for you, for your friends, and for your family. That's all on YOU, not the people who you allowed to take control of your life. Take some goddamned responsibility and stand up against bullying instead of becoming a goddamned martyr and a statistic.


Here's what I dont understand about what you are saying here. You very clearly make a stand on how you feel about suicide.

What about the punks who plotted and schemed to make her life as miserable as possible? How can you overlook their actions? The root of the problem stems from the efforts of those who gang up and prey on others, not their victims.

These are people who failed to consider the potentially devastating consequences of their actions. Instead of wondering why she didnt think of her friends and family, maybe you should ask yourself why the perpretators didnt think about her friends and family.

Thats often the goal of these people after all. They want their victims to kill themselves, and in some cases they triumph when they are successful. If you dont approve of suicide, then how can you fail to acknowledge those who intentionally drove her to it? Isnt what they did much worse?

Blaming the victim does nothing to address the problem. It just upsets people because it shows you dont understand the minds of people who are depressed or suicidal.

Edited by Red Light Racicot, 29 October 2012 - 01:13 PM.


#192 CanuckinEdm

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Posted 29 October 2012 - 01:32 PM

I'm wondering if people are more sensitive now or it was just something that was never talked about before. But throughout grade 1-12 I know of 2 people who killed themselves 1 was because of bullying and the other was cause a girl broke up with a kid. I witnessed plenty people getting tormented by people and they are all still alive and well.

#193 WeatherWise

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Posted 29 October 2012 - 01:38 PM

I've waited a few days to weigh in on this issue, but I feel now is the time to express my opinion. Victims of bullying should not feel helpless. It baffles me to witness so many individuals try to tolerate the actions perpetrated by the bullies, many times without success. No one should ever believe hope is lost, nor should they succumb to the torture inflicted upon them. There are options available to those who feel trapped by bullying; there are ways to escape. Parents must take initiative, however, if they wish to help their children, as the following arrangements can not be done without their help.

1. If a child is being bullied to the extent that they feel on the brink of suicide, the parents need to move the child as far from their bullies as possible. If this means moving to another province or country rather than losing their child, so be it.

2. The child must then sever their online connections -- shut down their Facebook account, Twitter account, and accounts from other such social networking sites. This will mean one thing: teaching the child that the words of others do not matter. Youth are going to be insecure and self-conscious about what others think about them; let them know that this does not matter a single bit. It is necessary to teach youth that they are better than their tormenters.

3. Change the child's name. For the child to have a new opportunity to live freely, this has to be done. Legal documentation must be changed to ensure nobody can trace the old identity of the child.

4. There are counselling services, peer help services and hotlines available. Try to help the child by surrounding them with people who care about them and who are genuinely interested in helping them.

5. Avoid personal online interactions for at least a little while, i.e. Facebook, Twitter, etc. Teach them also that if they feel they need help or are in distress, they need to share it with their parents, counsellors, and other social workers involved.

There are many more actions one could take in order to provide their child with a new start. A new country, a new name, counselling, and no connections to their past life are just the start. I believe many victims feel helpless when they've been become targets of bullying. Their first step would be to tell somebody. If their parents can sort out the proper arrangements to help them, fine. If not, such as in some cases of foster parenting, there are child care workers and social workers who can intervene.

There is never a point in which youth should feel helpless. We should be educating children and adolescents that they are not trapped. They have options, no matter how desperate their situation. Unfortunately, that does not seem to be enough of a focus. We have not heard a single word these past few weeks about providing support for youth in need of help. If schools and media are not going to teach this, parents need to provide this knowledge to their children. It should be everybody's responsibility to contribute to their children's safety.

Very few people here have talked about solutions from the perspective of the individual. It's one thing to change humanity by reducing bullying. It is another thing, on a more personal level, to find a way to escape bullying. The worldwide situation will not change overnight. In the meantime, we need to try to assist and support those who need help right now in today's society.

Pleaing via an anonymous video online is not how to find help; it's only going to get lost among everything else on the internet. There are real solutions. We just need these kids to speak out to real people. Get them away from their computers and away from any way in which they can have access to the very words that torment them. Show them that there is always an escape from bullying no matter how dire the situation may seem.

I feel as though too little is done to help kids in need of support. Instead of being supported and helped in times of difficulty, they desperately cling without any change to the situation. At that point, it just becomes a matter of time before they feel there is nothing left for them.

Edited by WeatherWise, 29 October 2012 - 02:01 PM.

The greatest segue into a weather segment.

#194 D-Money

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Posted 29 October 2012 - 02:44 PM

+1 for WeatherWise. If kids are running into serious problems with social media, they're far better off to learn to live without it.

There are a lot of things in this story that made me think...One thing that bothers me is how the guys willingly rubbed shoulder-to-shoulder in a big sausage fest to have sex with this girl, but then turned on her and berated her for it. Why? How are they not the desperate ones?

Personally, I think that sex carries huge emotional consequences, and that if you have sex with someone you don't love/respect, you will carry inevitable shame - regardless if anyone else even knows about it. But I know that many would disagree with me, and try to promote sex as a more care-free activity, that people should be less conservative about. What you want to believe is your right. But what I hate are the people (particularly guys) who try to have it both ways.

Guys: if (safe) sex is nothing more than a fun time between people, and you'll jump at any opportunity to have it with an attractive girl (even if it means getting naked with three of your teammates), then don't turn around and be a d-bag about it after. If sex is fun and meaningless, and a girl gave you some, thank her for it. But if sex is something that should have rules and moral guidelines, and it should be solely for people in a caring relationship, then get some self-control. Don't screw a girl who feels open about sex, and then turn around and call her a slut.

Guess what? YOU'RE the slut, dude. Even worse, you're a hypocrite-slut. YOU gave away it away, even though YOU think it's something to be ashamed of.

Edited by D-Money, 29 October 2012 - 02:47 PM.

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#195 Bertuzzi Babe

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Posted 29 October 2012 - 02:45 PM

Spoiler


^^^ And when those things fail? Amanda Todd changed school how many times????????? And why should the victim of bullying have to move repeatedly, change their name etc???? How about the bullies be made to accept the consequences of THEIR actions instead of the victim being victimized yet again by having to be the one who has to give up their name, their home, their school and their friends due to the actions of one or a few? Exactly how much is a bully entitled to take from you??

Edited by Bertuzzi Babe, 29 October 2012 - 03:06 PM.

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#196 CanuckinEdm

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Posted 29 October 2012 - 03:18 PM

^^^ And when those things fail? Amanda Todd changed school how many times????????? And why should the victim of bullying have to move repeatedly, change their name etc???? How about the bullies be made to accept the consequences of THEIR actions instead of the victim being victimized yet again by having to be the one who has to give up their name, their home, their school and their friends due to the actions of one or a few? Exactly how much is a bully entitled to take from you??

A bully isn't entitled to take anything from anyone but rather then having my child take their life ill take their name house and facebook away. I agree with what he/she said if its as bad as these two cases extreme measures must be taken and parents must intervene especially if school or the law isn't.

#197 Bertuzzi Babe

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Posted 29 October 2012 - 04:12 PM

A bully isn't entitled to take anything from anyone but rather then having my child take their life ill take their name house and facebook away. I agree with what he/she said if its as bad as these two cases extreme measures must be taken and parents must intervene especially if school or the law isn't.


I'm not saying he's wrong.....the first priority ALWAYS should be to protect your child. It's just way too often the bullies never have to suffer the consequences of their actions yet the victim gives up their name, their home, their friends and their school. How is that fair?

And too often, the victims of bullying don't tell their parents what is going on. They don't report it. Because it always, without fail, gets back to the bullies somehow and it gets worse. I've seen it happen, seen kids driven out of their school, their neighbourhoods, away from their friends and support network. Being the victim of bullies can have lifelong repercussions and to be blamed, and having to pay the consequences for, your own bullying is one of the cruelest things of all. The bullies win again.

Edited by Bertuzzi Babe, 29 October 2012 - 04:13 PM.

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Ense petit placidam sub libertate quietem.....






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