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[Official] CDC Rap Battle Thread


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#31 i4i

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 12:50 AM

When I was born I didn't cry a single tear, the doctors and nurses passed out cold,
From the shear fear of me here, even they knew since I was just 2 seconds old,
I've been harder than Brett Farve trying to spell his name right on a birtday card,
While driving a car trying to take pictures on his cell of his di... Did I go too far?
You're softer than a seventy five year old who just ran out of Viagra pills,
In a cold bath-tub of ice hanging on for dear life while he gets the chills.


I'm harder than steel
And if I really attack
I'm going to make you squeal
I don't want to make you cry
Oh wait, I think you've already started
I didn't even have to try
That was easy
Your rhymes are like pizza
They're much too cheesy
I came here to see some real toppings
Not some poser rappers
Tryin' to do some mad rhyme droppings
So I suggest you quit now
Before you really get hurt
Okay, see you later boy
Ciao
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#32 AriGold

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 12:50 AM


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#33 i4i

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 12:52 AM

I'll continue rapping tomorrow, as of now, I'm going to sleep. I've embarassed both of you enough for one day.
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#34 BananaMash

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 12:54 AM

I'm harder than steel
And if I really attack
I'm going to make you squeal
I don't want to make you cry
Oh wait, I think you've already started
I didn't even have to try
That was easy
Your rhymes are like pizza
They're much too cheesy
I came here to see some real toppings
Not some poser rappers
Tryin' to do some mad rhyme droppings
So I suggest you quit now
Before you really get hurt
Okay, see you later boy
Ciao


You're really starting to make me waste a lot of energy I don't have,
Go back and reformulate, each line only has 4 words, you're so bad,
I don't know if you're even fixable, well you are but I think it's wrong,
To cut off a grown mans testicles like you would do to a stray dog,
But if you keep replying back I'll have to do it like an ex-wife would,
You're think I'm embarrassed you need to stop and take a good look,
At yourself, because you think that you're rapping and doing good,
When really you're just standing naked with wood in the woods
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#35 AriGold

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 12:55 AM

Probably one of the best battles ever.

Platinum recording Australian artist 360 vs up and comer with a big name Kerser

1.6 Million views..

Battle starts at 4:45


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#36 Kazmanian Devil

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 01:06 AM

I just replied, and I feel pretty good
You're a little bird who's going to get hit
With my arrow, call me Robin Hood
I only shoot to destroy
And if you're in my way, you're gonna get hurt
So run home little boy
And go pull up your skirt


Now you'd better get ready for my rebuttal
I'm about to blast off in my space shuttle
You shoot to destroy, I shoot to thrill
You're crashing just like an ecstasy pill
Stop trying to rhyme, you lack that skill
You're gonna suffer now before I get my kill
My lyrics cut, slash, and draw blood
Now tell me, yours do what?
They bounce right off me just like rubber
You gonna come back, or continue to stutter?
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LEGEND

 


#37 Kazmanian Devil

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 01:06 AM

I'm done rapping for tonight as well.
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LEGEND

 


#38 BringBackTheMinus

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 01:11 AM

*
POPULAR

I think if we brought back the minus it would be one heck of a plus,
So we could point out when you're spilling out nothing but verbal puss,
You're really going to sit there and say my flow is wack? Well... Okay...
An eight year old could snort longer lines than you write, of cocaine!
I'll shut my mouth, but don't think for a minute it's because you rapped,
I'm just saving my energy for an opponent worthy of a verbal attack.


Keep runnin ya mouth
What happened nothins comin out?
Act like your pro ill make ya backout
Go run to ya boy Horus
He aint nothin but a prick
Call for back-up you aint got no dick
I make ya goons disappear like a magic trick
I steal your chick and make her ride my joystick
She givin it a good lick
I know it makes you sick
My flow give you a dropkick
You aint nothin but a sidekick

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New York Rangers.
L1 Krieder/Stephan/Frolik –D1 Schultz/Girardi
L2 Wolski/Marchand/Johansson – D2 Teubert/Philips
L3 McMillan/Connolly/Sheppard – D3 Gudbranson/McIlrath
L4 Weal/Bourque/Lindberg – G Bernier/Lotz

Connolly and Sheppard both 81 overall each can be had for a 3rd round pick

#39 elvis15

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 09:09 AM

Poetry battles are pretty masculine too.

Actually, the correct term is 'poetry slam'...

...or so I've heard.
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#40 pimpcurtly

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 10:20 AM

Banana and Horus, what a perfect pair,
Both are so soft, they put shame to a teddy bear
And don't be surprised when they start to style each others hair,
Nothin better for those two than a kinky game of dare
But their love for each other is cool,
I ain't hating
I'll just be leaving the room,
when they get to mating
So before you fools start steppin up to me,
Just remember the theme of this battle is...
Banana and Horus, sittin in a tree

Edited by pimpcurtly, 27 October 2012 - 10:22 AM.

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#41 SkeeterHansen

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 11:05 AM

Wow after reading that my whole opinion of you has changed nicely,
Didn't know you were a 13 year old girl, here would you like ice cream?
Look dude, you're structure is a bigger train-wreck than off-topic forum,
My tunes are so damn fluid you can bathe in 'em and even pour 'em,
But as for you, I suggest you pickup some of my work and take a look,
Or maybe just practice some more, you cant gain talent from a book.


You talk about structure as if it's some sort of rule,
Dude, this is freestyle, quit actin like a fool.
You criticize me like you're afraid, are you?
I am MaximYapierre, the truth I spew.
BananaMash? What's that even mean?
Gotta be one of the weirdest names I've seen.
Talkin' bout bananas, with a picture of a dog,
Maybe I don't get the reference,
Through all this "word fog".
BM, your like a helpless fly on a log.
I'll crush you so quick, you're smaller than a flea,
And even though you think, that you're better than me,
It takes a smarter mind, quick wit, you see.
I've seen chumps like you before, you won't last in this industry.

Edited by MaximYapierre, 27 October 2012 - 11:13 AM.

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#42 GLASSJAW

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 12:18 PM

Fly on a log? Your metaphors are weak
Now I don't mean to interrupt, but open wide, I gotta leak
What Maxim don't realize is that flies are furtive
HIs attempts will be averted
and his girl knows I'm perverted.
Mash may be a fly on a log
But you can't stop a fly on a mission
and your rhymes are like a messy ......
flies go hard to the smell of .....
Or should I say crap?
to avoid CDC censors
anyway, I'm out
somebody get this guy some tensors.
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le temps restitué

 


#43 SkeeterHansen

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 03:53 PM

Fly on a log? Your metaphors are weak
Now I don't mean to interrupt, but open wide, I gotta leak
What Maxim don't realize is that flies are furtive
HIs attempts will be averted
and his girl knows I'm perverted.
Mash may be a fly on a log
But you can't stop a fly on a mission
and your rhymes are like a messy anal fission
flies go hard to the smell of sh*t
Or should I say crap?
to avoid CDC censors
anyway, I'm out
somebody get this guy some tensors.


Fighting Mash's battles, aw man thats cute,
Turning this one on one into a public dispute.
Coming to his rescue, you two want a room?
One bed between the two of you, I have to presume.
My metaphors are weak, but your rhymes are weaker,
Just leave this s*it to Mash, or your future will get bleaker.
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#44 BananaMash

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 03:58 PM

You talk about structure as if it's some sort of rule,
Dude, this is freestyle, quit actin like a fool.
You criticize me like you're afraid, are you?
I am MaximYapierre, the truth I spew.
BananaMash? What's that even mean?
Gotta be one of the weirdest names I've seen.
Talkin' bout bananas, with a picture of a dog,
Maybe I don't get the reference,
Through all this "word fog".
BM, your like a helpless fly on a log.
I'll crush you so quick, you're smaller than a flea,
And even though you think, that you're better than me,
It takes a smarter mind, quick wit, you see.
I've seen chumps like you before, you won't last in this industry.


No you're not missing any reference, I'm just all out crazy.
Like a 90 year old lady who was bit by a dog with rabies,
I'm too hungover to rap, but about the rap industry,
Come on man, you're rapping on a website, C-D-C,
Now I'm going to go take about three thousand tylonal,
And I don't want to write anymore raps today, be quiet all.
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#45 FS91

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 04:09 PM

No you're not missing any reference, I'm just all out crazy.
Like a 90 year old lady who was bit by a dog with rabies,
I'm too hungover to rap, but about the rap industry,
Come on man, you're rapping on a website, C-D-C,
Now I'm going to go take about three thousand tylonal,
And I don't want to write anymore raps today, be quiet all.


Alright alright time to teach you kids a lesson
About time you found some real talent to mess with
I'll have you looking like Kesler diving and flopping on the floor
Go grab a copy of "rapping for dummies" from your local bookstore
My flow will drop you to the ground like Torres on the hunt
Stick to your Rugrat rhymes you prepubescent runt
BM your nowhere near my level, looking back with binoculars and still cant see ya
I'm like Scott Stevens and you're Paul Kariya
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#46 TOMapleLaughs

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 04:24 PM

Tired.

That explains why you rap like Barry Manelow. copacabana. Banana. Banana? Maybe somebody needs to drive you into a pillar like Princess Diana.

Insane. Like hannibal the cannibal. You don't want a taste of this or i'll peel off your face. Oh snap, what's that? You're a rather mellow yellow fellow. Yum yum yum. Now i'm done with getting my potassium.
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#47 TOMapleLaughs

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 04:42 PM

If you're going to bore me, bore me to death. For reference check out one of Wetcoaster's walls of text.
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#48 Scottish⑦Canuck

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 05:00 PM

If you're going to bore me, bore me to death. For reference check out one of Wetcoaster's walls of text.


I don't post on CDC anymore due to the sheer number of pre-pubescent morons that seem to have registered on the board, but an unnamed poster has asked me to sign in and explain my views on walls of text. I thought I'd post this for the benefit of those who don't know what a wall of text is. Those not as well informed as me. I'm a lawyer. Have I mentioned that before? I don't think I have. Well, anyway. I'm a lawyer. Now you know that I'm a lawyer.

THE INTERNET - A wall of text is something that is frowned upon in most, actually virtually all Internet societies, including forums, chat boards, and Uncyclopedia. You should not make walls of text because it can get you banned anywhere unless it is a place that encourages walls of text. I highly doubt any place does support something so irritating and annoying, but anything can exist, but not really because unless you are in heaven then that can happen. But no one actually knows that was just a hypothesis, a lame one that is. Actually not really lame. You can create a wall of text supporting site, but you would be hated if you do that, so do not. But you can if you like, but I discourage that. Now on to the actual information of walls of texts. The wall of text was invented when the Internet was invented, but actually it was slow at that time. So whenever it became fast. But there would need to be some free or not free community for people, and that community would be able to have walls of text. But that community probably wouldn't have actually invented the wall of text. So basically, no one except God and Al Gore knows when or where or how the wall of text existed/was invented. Noobs probably invented, but probably not. Who knows. Walls of texts are usually filled with a lot of useless information and junk. Information and junk can be the same, but only if the information is junk or the junk is information. But who cares. The information/junk inside a wall of text are usually related to wherever the wall of text is located, but the best walls of text, which are actually the most irritating, most eye-bleeding ones, are completely random. Walls of text usually make the reader asplode or have their eyes bleed and fall out of their sockets. A number of people can stand it, but not read them. Actually some people can stand and read them. Those people do not have short attention spans. These are boring and patient people who have no life or have all the time in their hands, which are the same, but not really. The punishment of what making walls of text varies of the strictness of the community. But it doesn't really matter. Nobody cares. Walls of texts should be free of links, different font colors, strange characters, which are those other symbols used in society, and capital letters because it ruins the whole purpose of the infamy of walls of texts. It makes them look ???? dumb and weird. Walls of texts are obviously free of huge spaces and outstanding things like capital letters. Of course, paragraphs should never be in a wall of text. Walls of text are known to create nausea, confusion, head explosion, and others. The others being something I can not think of either because I am lazy or if I do not feel like it or I can not actually think of anything. Like what the frack? That was a rhetorical question right there. What the frack? You are actually not requesting a satisfactory answer, you just say that because you try to be funny or you feel like it or if you are pissed off. You must get a proper bitch-slapping to stop making walls of text, but if you are weird then that doesn't apply to you. Walls of text are defeated by deleting them or splitting them into paragraphs. Or some other things that would work but will take hours to think of. People are considered a nuisance if they create walls of text. This might be the end. If you hope this is the end, I am not sure. But if I was not sure then I wouldn't be talking. I should know. Or should I? The best way to make a better and good wall of text is to copy and paste what you previously typed or write. Hey, that reminds me. Walls of text aren't always on the internet! They could be anywhere that is able to produce symbols. D'oh. A wall of text is something that is frowned upon in most, actually virtually all Internet societies, including forums, chat boards, and Uncyclopedia. You should not make walls of text because it can get you banned anywhere unless it is a place that encourages walls of text. I highly doubt any place does support something so irritating and annoying, but anything can exist, but not really because unless you are in heaven then that can happen. But no one actually knows that was just a hypothesis, a lame one that is. Actually not really lame. You can created a wall of text supporting site, but you would be hated if you do that, so do not. But you can if you like, but I discourage that. Now on to the actual information of walls of texts. The wall of text was invented when the Internet was invented, but actually it was slow at that time. So whenever it became fast. But there would need to be some free or not free community for people, and that community would be able to have walls of text. But that community probably wouldn't have actually invented the wall of text. So basically, no one except God and Al Gore knows when or where or how the wall of text existed/was invented. Noobs probably invented, but probably not. Who knows. Walls of texts are usually filled with a lot of useless information and junk. Information and junk can be the same, but only if the information is junk or the junk is information. But who cares. The information/junk inside a wall of text are usually related to wherever the wall of text is located, but the best walls of text, which are actually the most irritating, most eye-bleeding ones, are completely random. Walls of text usually make the reader asplode or have their eyes bleed and fall out of their sockets. A number of people can stand it, but not read them. Actually some people can stand and read them. Those people do not have short attention spans. These are boring and patient people who have no life or have all the time in their hands, which are the same, but not really. The punishment of what making walls of text varies of the strictness of the community. But it doesn't really matter. Nobody cares. Walls of texts should be free of links, different font colors, strange characters, which are those other symbols used in society, and capital letters because it ruins the whole purpose of the infamy of walls of texts. It makes them look ???? dumb and weird and dumb. Walls of texts are obviously free of huge spaces and outstanding things like capital letters. Of course, paragraphs should never be in a wall of text. Walls of text are known to create nausea, confusion, head explosion, and others. The others being something I can not think of either because I am lazy or if I do not feel like it or I can not actually think of anything. Like what the frack? That was a rhetorical question right there. What the frack? You are actually not requesting a satisfactory answer, you just say that because you try to be funny or you feel like it or if you are pissed off. Now I just copied and pasted part of this huge wall of text, which is actually not. Wait what? Nice right? Ba boom a rhetorical question right there. Is this the end for the sanity of your eyes? What the frack did you actually read up to here? Or did you skip to near the end and read this? Either way, you fail in life. Just kidding. Or was I? Oh well. Congratulations, or not, actually not. Get a life right now. I found a cheap life on eBay, but cheap lives are rare. Well, good luck in finding one. Not! Okay go kill yourself, but I wasn't meaning that. So go sit in the corner in your house. I do not care which, just stay there and rot. If you are not in a place with a corner, then lucky you. Find one if you can. There is no other option because I said so. Now if you pity yourself for reading this like most do, then do something productive and useful to the environment. My goodness. OK this is me here. I am starting a new section of this article. I didn't read anything in this article above here, but nevermind, because I have something important to say, and you really have to read this. So just skip everything above and just come to this part and start reading and agreeing. The wall of text was invented by engineers using typewriters. Everything was in typewriter font (because it was made on typewriters - remember when I explained that in the previous sentence?) and the point was to use all of the paper, because paper was very expensive back then, it had just been invented I think. So anyway, the point was, no margins at the top or bottom or sides. If you left a quarter inch on the sides of the paper, that was very bad. And the guiding principle was "This was hard to write, so it should be hard to read". Because they were software engineers, not writing engineers. Is there even such a thing a writing engineers? Probably. But anyway, please go back to the top of this article and read it over again. You'll get the point after you read it for approx. 10 to 15 times. OK have you done that now? Good. Now let's be honest - you're not reading down this far. Are you? Nobody would read down this far, unless they were a crazy person. Are you a crazy person? You might be. Now I'm afraid - it's just me alone with a crazy person. No one else has read down this far, just you, so it's just the two of us alone together here. Are you going to do something crazy? Maybe you will. Please don't hurt me. If you promise not to hurt me, I'll give a coupon good for a free Grand Slam Breakfast at Denny's. OK? Now just do this one thing for me, read the article over again, just one more time, and if you really truly don't agree with everything in it, then fine, I'll retire from my job with the railroad and we'll call the whole thing off and just go dancing, just the two of use, me (the writer) and you (a completely random crazy person who has actually read down this far), and boy won't we turn heads when we show up at Rockefeller Center with the entire Donner Party in tow! We'll dance all night to strains of the Lemon Pipers while the Italian 12th Armored Division prevents the Allies from thrusting into our rear! Ah, what memories we'll make, I'll never forget you, my completely insane random person. By the way this is magnificent example of wall of text. You have to be proud you read it all. Now please read article again, and this time pay attention.

http://uncyclopedia....ki/Wall_of_Text

Now please take the time to admire all of the work I put into this post. [Insert condescending remark here].

Edited by Scottish⑦Canuck, 27 October 2012 - 05:09 PM.

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#49 TOMapleLaughs

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 05:16 PM

Wrong thread? But thanks for posting something that makes me wish the whole world was dead.

Hey. Listen. I don't really know if cutting and pasting raises your IQ, but saying it don't causes a hullabaloo. Oh no. He said that? Somebody call the CDC keystone cops! Let's run around like somebody else got shot. Or was it some bich getting hit by a train? If i see another blabbering bunch o bullsht i'm a put a bullet in my brain.

Am i insensitive? Did i hurt your feelings? Well take it to BananaMash and he'll spare you some peelings.
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#50 TOMapleLaughs

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 05:25 PM

ie. That would've been better in rap form.
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#51 Scottish⑦Canuck

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 06:18 PM

ie. That would've been better in rap form.



Yo homies, what up; I don't post on CDC,
Due to pre-pubescent morons taking residency,
But an unnamed poster was completely perplexed,
So I've signed in now to talk about walls of text,
Now I know a lot of you are probably pretty confused,
That's fine - to be expected 'cos I'm smarter than you,
I'm a lawyer - have I told you before?
I'm a lawyer, lets hear it some more,
The court of law - it's where I play my game,
Hey, yo! Waddup, Wetcoaster's my name.

Is that better?
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#52 BananaMash

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 06:19 PM

Whats with the random wedcoaster hate?
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#53 Scottish⑦Canuck

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 06:33 PM

Whats with the random wedcoaster hate?


I don't hate him.There's just a particular format/pattern to all of his posts, and he constantly likes to remind CDC that it's full of prepubescent morons. And he does overdo it with the walls of text.

Most of all it was easy to rap about.
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#54 GLASSJAW

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 06:48 PM

haha was my post deleted
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#55 hockeyville88

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 09:06 PM

Wayyy too many swear filter bypasses and insults in this thread folks.

Please keep it clean. I'd hate to lock this poetic love fest you all have going
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#56 GLASSJAW

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 09:09 PM

Too many insults in the rap battle thread, guys!
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#57 BananaMash

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 09:10 PM

Wayyy too many swear filter bypasses and insults in this thread folks.

Please keep it clean. I'd hate to lock this poetic love fest you all have going


Awe you could have rhymed your warning.

Wayyy too many swear filter bypasses and insults in this thread,
I suggest you put an end to it now or I will make this thread dead

Edited by BananaMash, 27 October 2012 - 09:10 PM.

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#58 hockeyville88

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 09:15 PM

Awe you could have rhymed your warning.

Wayyy too many swear filter bypasses and insults in this thread,
I suggest you put an end to it now or I will make this thread dead

Lol I considered it but my creative juices were failing me :)
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#59 BananaMash

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 09:16 PM

Lol I considered it but my creative juices were failing me :)


It's the consideration that counts. ::D
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#60 TOMapleLaughs

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 09:10 AM

Pretty difficult to have a rap battle on cdc with people who don't understand the purpose of rap battles at the helm of policing the content of the raps.

But if the pinnacle of rap in cdc lore is some pg-rated mumbling about Jan Bulis, Bulis, B-B-B-B-Bulis, then it's to be expected.
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