Ok, so I was laying in bed on Christmas Eve, drifting off to sleep when all of a sudden I heard a loud thump outside. All excited and what not I jumped up and ran to the window. I didn't see anything so I ran to the shed and kicked the door in and grabbed the ladder and, after smashing a few windows, I got onto the roof and I saw, I saw...
So I thought maybe Santa already went down the chimney so I dove into that s*** head first. I blacked out. I awoke to the sound of a blender puréeing a carrot, so I looked up and saw a midget giving it to a duck. "That's weird..." I thought to myself, "I need a beer." So I went to the kitchen and then I realised I wasn't in my home. I think, maybe, so as I turned around I tripped and fell. I kept falling. I was falling through a black void, endless and dark. Suddenly swirls of colour started to run down the walls. The colours started to scream at me, yelling profanities and all that. I stabbed one of the colours and it spewed out glitter and cocaine. I hit the ground. It was all dark and I couldn't see so I opened my eyes. And it was bright. Too bright. So I closed them again. Then I saw a terrible monster. So I opened my eyes again. It was still bright but it was better than a monster. As my eyes adjusted to the brightness, did I mention it was bright?, I noticed that the ground was wavy like the open ocean. It made my legs taste like purple. I didn't like it so I left. I slipped through the spiral sphere outer universe and travelled through the dark void that is my soul. I journeyed to a shadowy place. I met an old man. He told me: "To find what I've been missing in my life I must first find myself." Then he melted and out of his puddle arose a giant dragon. I crapped my pants. Then I though maybe I could throw this at it. But it stuck to my hand so I went to the sink and washed my hands. Twice. I went back to fight the dragon but it melted into a taco so I ate it. It has three different cheeses. After eating the taco I began to get dizzy and I started spinning. Eventually I fell and hit the roof and my head split in half and I crawled out of it. I floated out into the endless well of nightmares and got lost amid the drifting thoughts of my conscience. For ages I sat, floating in the endless sea of my mind until one day I awoke from my dream and it was finally Christmas!
Merry Christmas everybody!
Edited by debluvscanucks, 11 December 2012 - 08:16 AM.