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Grim Fairy Tales (Spooky, heartwarming, etc.)

BananaMash

By BananaMash
in White Noise

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-DLC- Canucks Hall-of-Famer

-DLC-

Posted
Posted

I was moderating on a hockey forum during a lockout when all these mindless zombies appeared out of nowhere and started posting stuff that I couldn't read. I dropped my ban hammer and ran, then realized I needed to save the world, so I went back.

(this may or may not stay open, depending on how much horror the mods can tolerate)

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BananaMash Canucks All-Star

BananaMash

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  • Author
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I was moderating on a hockey forum during a lockout when all these mindless zombies appeared out of nowhere and started posting stuff that I couldn't read. I dropped my ban hammer and ran, then realized I needed to save the world, so I went back.

(this may or may not stay open, depending on how much horror the mods can tolerate)

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Scottish⑦Canuck Canucks First-Line

Scottish⑦Canuck

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Okay I got another one here:

One time I created a really stupid horror story thread, and I saw that someone had replied. "Oh joyful day" I thought to myself, as I've been pretty down in the dumps as exams destroy my soul. As I open the thread, I realized I didn't see who had replied. I scroll down and see "Deb". Oh no. Oh no no no no.

I see that her post is in good humor, and I decided to laugh it off.

Then I looked in the mirror and a ghost was behind me.

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Argon Canucks Prospect

Argon

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Posted

one day, a young man was sleeping, enjoying his dream, and then as he was dreaming his very enjoyable dream a small dark nugget of a thought crept in. Not enough to sidetrack his dream, but enough to make a presence. Slowly it made itself known, that it had its home in the dream. It grew and grew, slowly but steadily, so the nugget changed. It wasn't a nugget of blackness, but now a building, a formidable fortress of darkness in the pleasant dream, casting a bleak shadow over the land. The dreamscapers wondered what this forboding emptiness meant, as they stared into the dream's black hole. Collectively as one spirit, they understood that the darkness stood for something, a greater purpose, bigger than the dream itself. Then with that realization the shadow grew, feeding off the knowledge, a exponentially expanding dark realization the dream had overdrempt, a resounding crash in the dreamscape shattering everything seemingly at the speed of light. The young adult woke up at a start. The blackness of his room disappeared with the intermittant blinking light of his alarmclock, which read 5:27am. Quickly he found his phone, which read 8:52am, which made his heart sink to it's deepest depths: he was going to be late for work. Oh the horrors! For it was not his fault no! It was his space heater, which during the night caused the breaker to blow thus, making his alarm reset. And which then lead to the eventual deafening darkness in his dream.

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:D Canucks Star

:D

Posted
Posted

So you're with your honey and you are making out when the phone rings.

You answer the phone and the caller asks, "What are you doing with my daughter?".

You tell your girl, and she says that her dad is dead.

Then who was it that was on the phone?

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Crom! Canucks Third-Line

Crom!

Posted
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True story here.

It starts with me knocking on the door of my friends house for the first time. His brother answers the door and I can instantly sense that something is off. His greeting of "Oh, it's you" only furthers the feeling. It isn't an "oh, it's you" like you don't belong here, but one with a tone that said "I'm very worried for you".

Little did I know that I would be meeting their father after stepping through the threshold. My mouth drops open.

Standing before me in the shadow of a giant chainsaw carved bear is a man. The man is bald and covered in tattoos. The most obvious of which is a swastika on his bald head.

Now I was just a 16 year old kid and didn't know how to handle the situation, so when the older brother tells me that my friend is in his room, I awkwardly jerk down to untie my shoes. So awkward in fact that I manage to knock the lamp off the coffee table.

It shatters on the ground.

I vaguely remember horrible things being screamed at me before the older brother say something along the lines of "You'd better get the F--- out of here".

I took his advice that day and am proud to say that my friend is nothing like his father.

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Guest Gumballthechewy

Guest Gumballthechewy

Posted
Posted

CHAPTER TWO: Are These My Meds?

Ok, so I was laying in bed on Christmas Eve, drifting off to sleep when all of a sudden I heard a loud thump outside. All excited and what not I jumped up and ran to the window. I didn't see anything so I ran to the shed and kicked the door in and grabbed the ladder and, after smashing a few windows, I got onto the roof and I saw, I saw...

Nothing!

So I thought maybe Santa already went down the chimney so I dove into that s*** head first. I blacked out. I awoke to the sound of a blender puréeing a carrot, so I looked up and saw a midget giving it to a duck. "That's weird..." I thought to myself, "I need a beer." So I went to the kitchen and then I realised I wasn't in my home. I think, maybe, so as I turned around I tripped and fell. I kept falling. I was falling through a black void, endless and dark. Suddenly swirls of colour started to run down the walls. The colours started to scream at me, yelling profanities and all that. I stabbed one of the colours and it spewed out glitter and cocaine. I hit the ground. It was all dark and I couldn't see so I opened my eyes. And it was bright. Too bright. So I closed them again. Then I saw a terrible monster. So I opened my eyes again. It was still bright but it was better than a monster. As my eyes adjusted to the brightness, did I mention it was bright?, I noticed that the ground was wavy like the open ocean. It made my legs taste like purple. I didn't like it so I left. I slipped through the spiral sphere outer universe and travelled through the dark void that is my soul. I journeyed to a shadowy place. I met an old man. He told me: "To find what I've been missing in my life I must first find myself." Then he melted and out of his puddle arose a giant dragon. I crapped my pants. Then I though maybe I could throw this at it. But it stuck to my hand so I went to the sink and washed my hands. Twice. I went back to fight the dragon but it melted into a taco so I ate it. It has three different cheeses. After eating the taco I began to get dizzy and I started spinning. Eventually I fell and hit the roof and my head split in half and I crawled out of it. I floated out into the endless well of nightmares and got lost amid the drifting thoughts of my conscience. For ages I sat, floating in the endless sea of my mind until one day I awoke from my dream and it was finally Christmas!

Merry Christmas everybody!

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Hamhuis2 Canucks Rookie

Hamhuis2

Posted
Posted

Ok, so I was laying in bed on Christmas Eve, drifting off to sleep when all of a sudden I heard a loud thump outside. All excited and what not I jumped up and ran to the window. I didn't see anything so I ran to the shed and kicked the door in and grabbed the ladder and, after smashing a few windows, I got onto the roof and I saw, I saw...

Nothing!

So I thought maybe Santa already went down the chimney so I dove into that s*** head first. I blacked out. I awoke to the sound of a blender puréeing a carrot, so I looked up and saw a midget giving it to a duck. "That's weird..." I thought to myself, "I need a beer." So I went to the kitchen and then I realised I wasn't in my home. I think, maybe, so as I turned around I tripped and fell. I kept falling. I was falling through a black void, endless and dark. Suddenly swirls of colour started to run down the walls. The colours started to scream at me, yelling profanities and all that. I stabbed one of the colours and it spewed out glitter and cocaine. I hit the ground. It was all dark and I couldn't see so I opened my eyes. And it was bright. Too bright. So I closed them again. Then I saw a terrible monster. So I opened my eyes again. It was still bright but it was better than a monster. As my eyes adjusted to the brightness, did I mention it was bright?, I noticed that the ground was wavy like the open ocean. It made my legs taste like purple. I didn't like it so I left. I slipped through the spiral sphere outer universe and travelled through the dark void that is my soul. I journeyed to a shadowy place. I met an old man. He told me: "To find what I've been missing in my life I must first find myself." Then he melted and out of his puddle arose a giant dragon. I crapped my pants. Then I though maybe I could throw this at it. But it stuck to my hand so I went to the sink and washed my hands. Twice. I went back to fight the dragon but it melted into a taco so I ate it. It has three different cheeses. After eating the taco I began to get dizzy and I started spinning. Eventually I fell and hit the roof and my head split in half and I crawled out of it. I floated out into the endless well of nightmares and got lost amid the drifting thoughts of my conscience. For ages I sat, floating in the endless sea of my mind until one day I awoke from my dream and it was finally Christmas!

Merry Christmas everybody!

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