Montreal city councilor Benoit LaDouce is proposing a bylaw that requires all dogs in public parks to understand both French and English.
“The current situation in Montreal dog parks in untenable chaos,” LaDouce told CBC’s Pat Kelly on Wednesday. “Half the dogs are getting their commands in French, the others are getting their commands in English. And the various dog commands are incomprehensible to each other.”
The city councilor recalled that he had recently been in a park when “a large Anglo dog, he leaped up onto my shoulder and began to lick and kiss.”
At that point, LaDouce issued the dog a command in French, which he roughly translated as “Hey, go out of this place, fun guy, go.”
“And the dog looked back at me in total incomprehension,” he explained. “Our alienation from each other was absolute.”
“We’re not saying you’re going to turn your dog into a super dog to go on the David Letterman and do this stupid trick program,” LaDouce insisted. “We’re saying basic stuff: 80 or 90 commands that they would speak in both French and in English. Sit, lay down, roll over, do you want to go for a walk?”
If the bylaw passes, city employees would be responsible for testing each dog’s language skills.
“This is a priority for us,” LaDouce said. “I’m working on it day and night and we’re hoping to get it wrapped up by the time we get to tennis ball season in the Summer.”
Here is the interview on CBC:
NOTE - consult a dictionary for the word "satire" or see this Globe and Mail article - www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/cbc-radio-satirical-show-this-is-that-sparks-as-much-outrage-as-laughs/article583958/