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Gweelowlala Day

Guest Gumballthechewy

By Guest Gumballthechewy
in White Noise

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Guest Gumballthechewy

Guest Gumballthechewy

Posted
Posted

Hooray! Hooray! It's almost Gweelowlala Day!

I am going to explane this holiest of holy holidays:

Gweelowlala Day is a magical mystery tour of emotions and drugs. On Gweelowlala Day the woman of the house has to wear the traditional Gweelowlala stockings so dear sweet Saint Mash may fill them with gifts of cucumbers, Jergens hand lotion, finger cots and Canadian Club Whisky, the traditional drink of Gweelowlala Day. The traditional meal of Gweelowlala Day is loose roast beef sammiches, carrots, cucumbers(the ones from the stockings may be used), melons, hot dogs, fish tacos, sausage and kumquat pie for dessert.

All December long we celebrate the Gweelowlala with feasting and celebrations but on Gweelowlala Day, December 33rd, we celebrate the Forgenblufkinmoot with the Grand Feast and sacrifice three hot female virgins (preferably from ages 16-22), by dog, to the three gods of Gweelowlala Day: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Joseph Stalin and Micky Mouse.

The Saints of Gweelowlala Day are:

Saint Gumball of Narnia, patron saint of the spirit of Gweelowlala.

Saint Mash of Hyrule, patron saint of gifts and songs.

Saint Yappie of Mordor, patron saint of slaughtering heathens.

Below are the grand songs of Gweelowlala as composed by Saint Mash of Hyrule patron saint of gifts and songs:

The Song of Gweelowlala Day:

Oh St. Gumball, Fa-la-la-la-la-la,

Happy day of Gweelowlala,

Bring us gifts, bring us toys,

Bring some girls for the boys,

Gweelowlala, is a day,

Gweelowlala for today.

Gweelowlala Gweelowlala

Everyone Gweelowlala

The Song of Beer:

T'was the night prior to Gweelowlala,

and all through the apartment,

Most of the pencils were resting,

in their desk compartments,

A human was watching dirty movies,

In his bedroom and stopped,

Because his mother opened the door,

and boy he was so shocked,

He reminded his mother,

about Gweelowlala cheer,

She forgave him promptly,

and brought him a beer,

The Song of Sexy Stockings:

So take off your sexy stockings,

So take off your sexy stockings,

So take off your sexy stockings,

Enjoy your toys and hot things,

Put on your you sexy swimsuit,

Soon old Saint Mash will be here,

He only brings gifts if your good,

So when he draws near...

Bring him some food

Bring him some beer,

Bring him some ladies,

And good songs to hear!

The Song of the Forgenblufkinmoot:

All gather round for this is a tale,

Of the great Forgenblufkinmoot,

Where we eat a meal and the ale,

Made by a swede, Bork Bork Bork,

The three ladies, of unsoiled nature,

Sacrificed to please our gods!

If she resists, we'll shall make her,

Bow to our mighty dogs!

This tale may seem too dark to some,

So we celebrate with joyful tunes,

So feel the songs in your lungs,

And know we're all here for you!

Arnold Schwarzenegger, god of crops

Stalin, god of the power within each saint,

Mickey mouse, god of the corrupt cops,

Please them all, or we will all meet our fate.

The Song of Heathens:

Man, cats don't know what it's gonna be

Messing with a Saint like me, M-to-the-A-to-the-S-H

Last I heard, y'all posers was havin' holidays, with the SAME fake saints,

I show no love, to heathen thugs

Empty out, reloaded and throw more slugs

How you gonna explain that to me man?

Even if we squashed the beef, I ain't touchin ya hand

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Guest Gumballthechewy

Guest Gumballthechewy

Posted
Posted

Dear Santa,

I would like a personality.

Love,

Mash

I think you posted in the wrong thread, either way you're a naughty boy and you don't deserve a personality.

You already have a cult of personality anyway.

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Guest Gumballthechewy

Guest Gumballthechewy

Posted
Posted

Santa Chewy,

I would like a Gweelowlala tree, damn things are harder to find than Gary Bettman's...........dignity.......

You must grow a Gweelowlala tree from the corpses of your enemy's and water it with their blood and fertilise it with their bones.

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Guest Gumballthechewy

Guest Gumballthechewy

Posted
Posted

Saint Gumball of Narnia declares that Lord Mash of Hyrule is in charge of spreading Gweelowlala Day spirit around CDC and Lord Yappie of Mordor shall slaughter all who oppose Gweelowlala Day cheer.

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Guest Gumballthechewy

Guest Gumballthechewy

Posted
Posted

Gimme boats and hoes

Saint Gumball of Narnia will deliver unto you these, 'boats and hoes', for Gweelowlala Day.

But first you must deliver me three virgins for the Gweelowlala Day ritual sacrifices.

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