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Multiple Warning Signs Surrounding Zack Kassian 2.0


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#1 BoKnows53

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:46 AM

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Now that Kassian's essentially played the same amount of games as every other player in the NHL this season, I thought I'd have a look at the numbers to see how exactly he's "developing" (generous term).

WARNING: this ain't pretty

1) He has zero assists (alarming!!!!!!!!!), notice the number of exclamation marks.

2) He's fat.

3) He stinks

4) He needs a haircut

5) He's not Cody Hodgson(my main man) :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

6) He's not as pretty as Cody



Told you it wouldn't be pretty. He has 5 goals but Marleau has 9 in fewer games.

So in conclusion, Zack Kassian is what's wrong with hockey and he ugly.
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#2 BananaMash

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:49 AM

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The idea was good, but this was poorly executed.
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#3 nuck nit

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:51 AM

Investigative journalism at it's finest.
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#4 Toni Zamboni

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:53 AM

i know what E.S. stands for!! :emot-parrot:
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#5 ajhockey

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:58 AM

This is not the original King of ES.

Edited by ajhockey, 31 January 2013 - 12:58 AM.

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#6 GoaltenderInterference

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:58 AM

Can't argue with number six.
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#7 Everybody Hates Raymond

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 01:05 AM

I don't know. Cody's box face pisses me right off. Naturally smug.
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#8 Milk Hot Dog

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 01:08 AM

Has too many teeth.
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#9 Smashian Kassian

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 01:10 AM

Now if the real King could man up, come back on CDC and own up to his mistakes.. We would all feel that great feeling that is satisfaction.

Edited by Smashian Kassian, 31 January 2013 - 01:42 AM.

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#10 pibroch

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 01:10 AM

Something of interests is that Kassian's shooting percentage is currently 33.3%!
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#11 Jägermeister

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 01:18 AM

Can't argue with number six.


Sure you can.
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A natural beauty.
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#12 Pistachios

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 01:22 AM

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6) He's not as pretty as Cody


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#13 Noheart

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 01:33 AM

The fact that you made an account to do this makes it lamer
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#14 WolfxHaley

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 01:38 AM

The fact that you made an account to do this makes it lamer

I don't know... It shows initiative and creativity, haha.
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#15 King Heffy

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 01:48 AM

The fact that you made an account to do this makes it lamer

Meh he just changed his name. Could have been worse, but the execution wasn't great.
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#16 Jai604

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 01:56 AM

i c wat u did der


Could have been good, rofl.
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#17 Common sense

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 02:05 AM

That hole in his teeth means we're trading him. Right, Taylor Pyatt?
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#18 Kesler's Nose

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 02:48 AM

I don't know. Cody's box face pisses me right off. Naturally smug.


Haha touche, he does have a smug box face. Kassian looks like a toothless maniac, I love it! Yeeeuhhhh. :lol: <--- They should modify this to have missing teeth.
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#19 Coconuts

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:51 AM

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Oh my god..

:lol:
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#20 Rocket Robin

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:16 AM

WTF :picard: :picard: :picard: :picard: :picard: :picard: :picard: :picard: :picard: :picard: All day long
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#21 Cowichan Canuck

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:24 AM

Slap a tuque on Kassian and he's Johnny Canuck!
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#22 buckshot44

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:28 AM

2.5 / 10
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#23 SN -Admin

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:50 AM

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