Raymond Ballard and a 1st Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Hi guys, I thought it'd be fun to create a thread that revolves around witty NHL related jokes. I guess I'll kick it off What did the Toronto Maple Leafs fan do after the Leafs won the Stanley Cup? He turned off his X-box and went to bed. Any other good jokes anyone know? Post them up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik Karlsson Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Heard this one. How many Bruins does it take to change a tire? 1, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wedge-tailed Eagle Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 A Rangers fan, an Islanders fan, a Devils fan and a Flyers fan were all mountain climbing together one day. As they were climbing up the mountain, they were going back and forth with each other over whose team was the best. When they finally reach the top of the mountain, all four are standing around when the Islanders fan inexplicably says "This one is for the Islanders" and jumps off the mountain. The Flyers fan, not wanting to be out done, says this one is for the Flyers," and jumps off the mountain. The Devils fan then says "This one is for everybody" and pushes the Rangers fan off the cliff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beluga Whale Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I put a Schneider sticker on my car and now it won't start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raymond Ballard and a 1st Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 I put a Schneider sticker on my car and now it won't start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lee goren rulez69 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 What time is it in Vancouver? 5:08 pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madness Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Here's an NHL Joke : the Calgary Flames Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Analyst Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 A Business Man, an International Student and a Diehard Fan are on the steps outside Rogers' Arena when they find a Lamp on the street. They rub the lamp and out pops a genie. "I will grant you each one wish," says the genie. The Business Man grabs the lamp and says, "I wish for a great place for all us businessmen to bring clients and strike deals" *Poof* All of a sudden all Businessmen and clients appear in a beautiful penthouse in Las Vegas. With endless Booze, money and cigars. The International Student takes his turn and says, "I wish for all the students, that they learn English and have a good job back home" *Poof* Immediately all the students are magically educated and appear across their home countries with jobs as Doctors, Lawyers and Architects. The genie turns to the Diehard hockey fan and say, "what do you wish for?" The Canucks Fan says, "You mean to tell me that all the Suits and all the International Students are gone?" The Genie says yes. The Canucks fan says, "I'll have a coke then" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raymond Ballard and a 1st Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 Here's an NHL Joke : the Calgary Flames Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Marchand Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Why is it so windy in Saskatchewan? Because the Leafs suck and the Flames blow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caboose Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 What do the Canucks and a training bra have in common? No cups. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimLahey Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 What do the Canucks and a training bra have in common? No cups. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PartyTimeWithJeffCarter Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Q: What do you call 23 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Finals? A: The Columbus Blue Jackets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayman Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Why doesn't the Sabres coach shave? Beause he likes it Ruff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkeeterHansen Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Toronto. All of a sudden, they are attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. The dog attacks the one boy and the other boy, thinking quickly, wedges his hockey stick between the dogs collar and twists, breaking its neck. A reporter, who happened to be walking by, rushes over to the young boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal" he starts writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Leafs fan", said the little boy. "Sorry, said the reporter. Being in Toronto, I figured you would be." He then begins to write "Young Jays Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific Attack". The boy again replies "I'm not a Jays fan." The reporter, clearly confused, asked "Well, we're in Toronto. Everyone here is either a Leafs fan or a Jays fan. Which team do you root for, then?". The boy replies "I cheer for the Ottawa Senators". The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes "Little Sh** from Ottawa Kills Beloved Family Pet". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
250Integra Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Aaron Rome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pimpcurtly Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Toronto. All of a sudden, they are attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. The dog attacks the one boy and the other boy, thinking quickly, wedges his hockey stick between the dogs collar and twists, breaking its neck. A reporter, who happened to be walking by, rushes over to the young boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal" he starts writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Leafs fan", said the little boy. "Sorry, said the reporter. Being in Toronto, I figured you would be." He then begins to write "Young Jays Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific Attack". The boy again replies "I'm not a Jays fan." The reporter, clearly confused, asked "Well, we're in Toronto. Everyone here is either a Leafs fan or a Jays fan. Which team do you root for, then?". The boy replies "I cheer for the Ottawa Senators". The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes "Little Sh** from Ottawa Kills Beloved Family Pet". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkeeterHansen Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I'm betting that reporter was Damien Cox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Heffy Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 It's career day in elementry school where each student talks about what their dad does. Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. Johnny comes to the front of the class. 'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sex acts on them.' The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for the Toronto Maple Leafs.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canucks.brad Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Joke: Canucks Defence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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