Sapper Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Society has high enough divorce rates when people freely pick their own spouses - In some sense I guess that suggests that arranged marriages couldn't be any worse but still - If folks won't be happy with someone they freely picked what would suggest they would be any happier with someone picked for them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 The concept of "love" is so fickle in today's society Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapper Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 after nearly 25 years of happy marriage 2 things my wife and I promised each other have really helped to keep things in percpective. First - A promise to never cheat - If either of us should ever want to be with someone else pick up the phone - call the other person and tell them it's over then go have your fun .... Should my marriage ever failed my personel experiance shows that friends who have divorced and either party cheated have never been able to function as a family unit - ever. Friends whos marriages ended prior to either of them entering new relationships have had a better change at atleast being friendly. If you have kids you owe it to your kids to ensure that should you marriage be over that you end it in such a manner that it does not prevent the parents being able to be civil and loving when together for family functions. Kids for the most part can understand when parents fall out of love - in fact they probably saw it before you 2 do - kids also understand cheating is wrong. Second - Any time you fight either one of you should keep in mind - "is this issue worth divorcing over ?". In other words pick your hill to die on. Many times over the years during an arguement either my wife or I have raised that point during the arguement - When fighting over who did what ( normally something pretty stupid - not cheating or anything one would end a marriage over ) - when you think about it ... is that particular issue worth dying on your hill when you take your stand? Every single time that point is raised it deflates the arguement pretty quickly. The art of being able to see others opinions and to being willing to bend without breaking seem to be lost arts in relations. In this time of instant gratification things become far to disposable and that includes relationships and marraiges. Being ex military before we could get married it was compulsary to take pre marriage counceling as a couple. Sounds silly but it is still in most units a unit policy ( if not from QR&O's ) to request permission to get married. It also in many units considered proper protocal to invite either the RSM or CO depending on rank. Don't think anyone is ever denied but it provides a chance for counciling first. The counciling focused on effective communication in conflict and boundry setting. The boundry setting was specific discussion for couples on what the issues where that you felt where or could be "divorce issues" and how to aviod them or deal with them. Everyone picks the same 2 as tops ( cheating and abuse ) but the other on the top 5 lists may raise an eyebrow or 2. We require people to pass driving tests - fire arm tests. Marraige and or raising Kids is equally as important and worthy in my opinion in some pre marraige education before issueing that marriage license. In the older generation that was provided by manditory church counciling, but as we seperate Church and State it has fallen by the side over the last 40 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squeak Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 I'm against marriage. That said, I can see why people do both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McBackup Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Sounds like someone got their heartbroken.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
î мцšт вяздк чфµ Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 so do brown people also arrange gay marriages? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squeak Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Actually no. I just don't understand the point of a binding legal contract saying two people have to love each other forever. Marriage arose out of superstition and as a political tool. There really isn't much point to it in modern society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-Money Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 The amount of respect that spouses have for each other, and for the marital arrangement in general, has a far greater impact on the marriage than who arranged things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McBackup Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 You do realize that if you live with someone for 6 months... then they are common-law...... which basically allows them to the same rights as a marriage.... So.............your view is one that is going to live alone for the remainder of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squeak Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I know what common law marriage, and obviously I'm against that if I don't like the idea of getting married. As for your snide remarks on living alone, I have no idea what the future holds. Also, you do realize not everyone ever has to spend the rest of their lives in BC, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McBackup Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 So you are against the possibility of losing 50% of you assets to someone who you may separate from then. Common-law status is common throughout first-world countries.... so although BC has more stringent guidelines to these laws, it is still only avoidable by not living with anyone...ever.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hudson bay rules Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I once told a friend (brown) that I thought her friend (also brown) was cute. I was just being polite and complimentary and didn't have any real intentions. The response.... Don't go there. It seems they are keeping them all for themselves. Tradition dies hard. Her dad said he'd be happy to take me to India to set me up with a wife if I wanted tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squeak Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 It's common, but not universal. Also, I don't know why you're arguing for this and thinking it will make me think marriage is a good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthNinja Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Dangerously close to prostitution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wetcoaster Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Either your response is completely ignorant of prositution and/or arranged marriages or your comments are dangerously close to stupidity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McBackup Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 You think I care about what you think is a good idea? Now that is funny. Just pointing the fallacy of your point of view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-Money Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I once told a friend (brown) that I thought her friend (also brown) was cute. I was just being polite and complimentary and didn't have any real intentions. The response.... Don't go there. It seems they are keeping them all for themselves. Tradition dies hard. Her dad said he'd be happy to take me to India to set me up with a wife if I wanted tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil_314 Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 OP, is this for a family studies course? I'd heard of the notion that the people with whom you live often have a better idea of who is and isn't a match for you, so going by the presumption that the son/ daughter still lives at home their parents should have the best understanding of who's a fit, and with whom you really share the most commonalities. With that in mind, (unless your parents are trolls) I'd say if they suggest it (NOT force it) they probably know the reasoning for their suggestion and so, given that you are interested in them also, I'd say give it a go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
literaphile Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 So you are against the possibility of losing 50% of you assets to someone who you may separate from then. Common-law status is common throughout first-world countries.... so although BC has more stringent guidelines to these laws, it is still only avoidable by not living with anyone...ever.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squeak Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 There is no fallacy in my point of view. The only fallacy is how you associate whats considered law with what is good.Whats hilarious is how condescending you are when you're trying to point out how I'm supposedly wrong. "I think marriage is dumb" "Yeah well if you live with someone for awhile in BC you're considered married." "So?" "So therefore marriage is good and you're wrong." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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