Jump to content
The Official Site of the Vancouver Canucks
Canucks Community

Premier Christy Clark apologizes


Sapper

Recommended Posts

Christy's diary from last week smiley-confused004.gif

Dear Diary: Christy Clark apologizes for smallpox, Head Tax, seagulls

Monday

Ethnic scandal — bah! I don’t even consider this a setback. If the East Indians and the Chinese won’t play ball, it just means we’ll just have to double-down on our strategies for mental patients, the elderly, gays, cyclists, baristas, MySpace users and black dwarves under 40. There’s also the hipster vote: I think we can score a few ridings around East Vancouver if we convince them to vote for us ironically. And get me some natives. The pleasant ones; not the blockade-y kind.

Tuesday

Disappointing news; the Haida have rejected my offer to fly to Masset and apologize for smallpox. The Indo-Canadian Business Association has similarly cancelled a luncheon where I was to apologize for the 1919 Amritsar Massacre. But not to worry, because at least the Sidney Senior’s Centre still knows how to treat a premier. In a six-hour address to a joint session of the bridge club and the snooker society, I single-handedly smoothed out a generation’s worth of historical wrongs, offering the government’s regrets for the high price of senior’s coffee at McDonalds, rap music, seagulls and the lack of Bonanza reruns on TV. Let’s just hope their pacemakers don’t give out before Election Day.

Wednesday

Now, we all knew we weren’t going to win re-election without digging up some dirt on the NDP government from the ’90s, but it seems I’ve underestimated British Columbia’s tolerance for wacky boondoggles. Perhaps the memory is still too fresh — which is why I advised my campaign researchers to go deeper: For instance, did you know that Depression-era CCF organizers supported eugenics and Stalinist agricultural collectives? Are these the kind of people you want sitting in the premier’s office? Besides, do you think you can count on Adrian Dix to make amends with the Chinese community for Vancouver’s 1907 anti-Asian riots?

Thursday

Early to work to record a video address expressing my fervent support of jobs, family, food, water, Canucks and happy. Naturally, I pulled Hamish out of school to shoot some B-roll of me cheering him on at a soccer game or something. His teachers tell me that these constant photo ops are starting to affect his grades, but it’s a small price to pay to remind the electorate of my unique qualifications as an adult female capable of rearing children. In Canada, we female politicians face an uphill battle against gender stereotypes, which is why it’s extra-important for me to hammer home the point that I am sensitive, nurturing and in touch with my emotions. Oddly, Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne tells me she’s never run into problems with people calling her a MILF or pointing out her cleavage. I guess they’re just more progressive in Ontario.

Friday

I had a bit of trouble getting to the office this morning; it seems all my office staff have defected to the NDP. That’s fine, but I wish they would have cleared out their lockers instead of just taking it for granted that they’d be back in a few months. I tried to buzz my executive assistant but got no answer. It seems I’ve fired him or he’s resigned … I can’t remember. You know, I’m starting to read the writing on the wall here, which is why I think it’s time to turn this campaign up to 11. You didn’t like the HST, B.C.? Fine; no more sales taxes at all! You want legal marijuana? Try government-mandated baskets of free hash on every street corner in Vancouver. You don’t like my Liberal party? No problem, we’ll change our name to the SoCred B.C. Freedom Alliance.

Late into the night I was feverishly sketching out maps of natural gas fields and designs for a Head-Tax Monument when I thought I spied a familiar figure in the corner of my office. Could it be…? Kevin Falcon? Had my intrepid former finance minister returned to patch up our differences and lead the Liberals once again to victory? Er, not quite. Turned out to just be a really tall stack of resignation letters.

http://news.national...d-tax-seagulls/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Does this article, in some way, validate what the Liberal government has done? I don't undertsand the point of your post.

No one is bringing up any other provincial parties other than yourself - likely in an attempt to deflect. This article is in the same vein.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How does it do this? By applying the "multi-culturalism" label to the current Liberal crisis? The author sees fit to apply the convenient, catch-all multi-cultural label in a manner that supposedly encapsulates all Governments' dealings with ethnic communities. Void of the article you posted is an actual connection proving such an assertion.

It is weak Liberal fluff as far as I'm concerned. Alas, people will make connections and assumptions so long as it validates their beliefs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

According to Dosanjh (and experienced political observers) it is business as usual. But what would Ujjal know, eh?

Attracting blocks of ethnic voters is a time honoured tradition in Canadian politics ever since the racially discriminatory voting laws were repealed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You believe all Canadian political parties use tax dollars to attract ethnic votes. Consequently, the current Liberal actions are a non-issue.

The relevance of your position to this thread, at the least, should be questioned in my opinion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A better way of phrasing your question would be: How many political campaigns that attempt to make quick gains with ethnic voters have you managed?

To that question, I will answer zero.

If your argument hinges on 'experts' who have experience with said tactics, then good luck to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Under the bc liberals the box stores have exploded in numbers while family stores are disappearing. Lots and lots of very low paying part time jobs for the masses - I know many who have several of the jobs ........ Just to survive. Business profits at record levels with stagnant wages and record household credit debt. Right wing governments are great times for the wealthy but hard times for the rest.

In my city most family stores of the 90's are gone - plenty of box stores though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...