LMAO Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Hey Cdc. I am in need of some advice. Im 21 years old and im dating someone from Germany. We met over a year ago here in Canada. She was here on a work permit. We spent 3 months dating and when the time came she had to leave. We stayed together. We couldn't see eachother for 5 months. We would text message non stop and skype almost everyday for 4 months until I was able to make it to germany last summer. I stayed with her for 3 months and we absolutely loved it and also fell in love. We both started university in October and im February we have a study break and she was originally going to come back for a month but she can't anymore. I have been planning on going to germany again and applying at the University there in munich because I can continue my studying there. It would just be 8 months of us apart when in reality we have only spent 6 months physically together. I have dated a few girls before but for her I am her first. Should I just kind of 'yolo the situation? I really do love her. Or what? Please discuss your experiences with ldr's and hand me some advice! Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drive-By Body Pierce Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Sounds like a really great story, I think you should do whatever you can to try and make it work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drive-By Body Pierce Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Hopefully all of the adversity early in your relationship early on just makes it that much stronger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Go for it man, love is love. It's hard, but it can work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rounoush Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 D'awww I would probably stay with her but in the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, "You must do what you feel is right, of course." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denguin Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 First, everyone is different... and you'll find BIG differences in opinion regarding LDRs. My advice, is to take all opinions with a grain of salt, including mine. Now I've had my share of LDRs in my dating span... I won't bore you with the details, but none of them worked out. That's not to say yours won't; however, personally, I do believe that there has to be some sort of physical interaction between two people for things to work. Without that, you lose your connection: you no longer have memories to create together, you no longer have anything in common, etc. Another thing I will say, is that you're both young. That's not to say people can only chase after loved ones when they're older (in fact, I believe the opposite... just ask me about my current relationship), but it is a consideration. Being at school, being apart... You both will have other friend groups, and it's inevitable feelings for other people will develop. Now what do I think? I think you just have to go about weighing reality with idealist thoughts. Here's what you know: Reasons to not: - Going to Germany for school just for a girl is a HUGE investment (since it sounds like that would be the primary reason you're going). - You've met her just over a year ago... and have only spent ~6 months physically with her. My guess is you still don't know a lot about her. - You will still be spending a significant amount of time apart, even if you do go to Germany (assuming you come back when you're off school) - You're both young... too many things can still tear you two apart. You both don't have jobs yet, the stability of money, etc. What happens when you graduate? The same whole fiasco again? Reasons to: - You love her, she (hopefully) loves you too. What's to say you two won't pan out? There's nothing to say that, actually. I know of LDRs that have worked... one of my best buddies spent almost 2 years without his girlfriend, yet they skyped every day, even if it was just for 15 minutes, and are still together to this date - You'll never know if you don't try... you'll miss 100% of the shots you don't take (unless you're name is Ryan Kesler, in which case you'll miss 99% of shots even if you take them) In short, it's kind of cliché, but choose what you want, and go with it. By the sounds of it, your heart is set on going to Germany... And there's nothing wrong with that. If there's anything I've learned in this lifetime... It's that there's nothing worse than regret. If you feel you'll regret your decision if you choose not to go, then your mind should be made up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:D Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I'm currently in a long distance relationship... It's about the length of my arm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:D Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Still a better love story than Twilight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horny Manatee Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Go for it. If it doesn't work out then at least you'll know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lancaster Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 The old adage.... distance makes the heart grow fonder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
si robertson Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 I'm currently in a long distance relationship... It's about the length of my arm. LMAOF @ that post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brick Tamland Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Hey Cdc. I am in need of some advice. Im 21 years old and im dating someone from Germany. We met over a year ago here in Canada. She was here on a work permit. We spent 3 months dating and when the time came she had to leave. We stayed together. We couldn't see eachother for 5 months. We would text message non stop and skype almost everyday for 4 months until I was able to make it to germany last summer. I stayed with her for 3 months and we absolutely loved it and also fell in love. We both started university in October and im February we have a study break and she was originally going to come back for a month but she can't anymore. I have been planning on going to germany again and applying at the University there in munich because I can continue my studying there. It would just be 8 months of us apart when in reality we have only spent 6 months physically together. I have dated a few girls before but for her I am her first. Should I just kind of 'yolo the situation? I really do love her. Or what? Please discuss your experiences with ldr's and hand me some advice! Thanks Do what you can, but never use YOLO again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Offensive Threat Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 I had a LDR while in Uni that was great until we actually were both finally back in Vancouver full time and could spend as much time as we wanted together and realized it was the adversity that had made it strong. Knowing we would be seperated again after a week or 2 together here and there gave the relationship a lot of intensity. Without that there wasnt enough there to keep us together. So theres that angle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuckyLuciano Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 Do what you can, but never use YOLO again... This and are you actually willing to wake up at 4am in Munich to watch Canucks games? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VICanucksfan5551 Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 It is what you make of it, like any relationship. I'm currently in an LDR, and have been for more than three years. It can get tough from time to time dealing with the distance but it forces you to learn to make compromises and appreciate the time you have I think. It's not sustainable as a long term idea of course. Kind of a different situation when you're close enough to make a day trip viable, as opposed to living thousands of kilometres away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bookie Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 The old adage.... distance makes the heart grow fonder. No that's absinthe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pianoman13 Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 Here is my situation, I met a girl in Ottawa when I went to school there for two years. We dated for about a year and a half, I was her first just like you were. I have now been in Paris for school for a year and a half and have not seen her in a year and a half. We are still together, talk every day and such. Sure its not easy sometimes, and there are always ups and downs, but if you guys love each other of course I would say to try to make it work. Just know that like I said there will be ups and downs, and not to give up at the first sign of trouble, in the end it can actually bring you closer together by getting through those difficult times. Best of luck to you and I hope it works out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMAO Posted March 18, 2014 Author Share Posted March 18, 2014 Hey guys, Just a heads up on our situation now. She's been really busy with university lately and we have began to distance apart from each other more and more. We used to talk everyday but up until a couple weeks ago we spent 4 days not talking to one another. When we did talk again she said to me that she wasn't sure what to think or feel about our relationship any more. That day, we were supposed to Skype at night (different time zone) and when I asked if she was ready to Skype. She said that she had a friend over and couldn't. It was about 8:30 pm her time and I didn't think much about it. An hour later I had to go to work so I asked her if she was done hanging out with her friend, who they were and what they were doing. She saw it and didn't reply but had seen the message a few times. She went out to a university party after that. When we Skyped' I told her to be completely honest with me and why she didn't tell me who she was with the night before. She said she didn't want to tell me because It sounds like I don't trust her. She spoke about how she was unsure about us and how it might not work when I get there. I asked her if she wanted to break up and she said she didn't. I also asked if there was another guy in the equation and she said no. I think she could just be very confused right now? Another thing to note is her father doesn't like me one bit and she always tells me how he says we should break up. We didn't communicate very well the past couple months through Skype, only Skying once or twice per week. Should we try to communicate more? Texting just creates problems I feel. Also I ordered her flowers that were delivered to her house today. I also had an artist make custom made necklaces, bought a cd of her favourite singer, a book on long distance relationships. I also wrote a letter that I wrote with the help of my best friend. Basically describing the night we met and the first few dates as funny as possible. Also at the end of the letter I give her a little inspiration. When she received the flowers she sent me a text saying "awww thank you" and i asked if she could skype today. She saw the message and didn't reply. I went out for a couple hours and when I got back home I sent her another message. She also saw that one and didn't reply. I went on fb and noticed she was online and active talking to other people so why would she ignore me like that? Am I just over thinking the entire thing or should I be worried? I want to help her reignite the spark we had. She wants to but is just having trouble right now. How could I get her to without her feeling pressured and also the thought that I am smothering her. We have survived 5/8 months apart so far. I'd like your opinion and thoughts of our situation. Also any tips you may have to help us make it work! Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kodos Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Is that you, Kevin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denguin Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I'm sorry to say, but it's textbook at this point. You two are done. She's either lost interest in you completely, or she's found someone else. I've had literally the exact same situation happen to me, literally sequence for sequence (except sending her a bunch if stuff), and it turned out to be the latter. Let her go. You'll continue to be hurt inside if you don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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