Hate Monger Fred Phelps is Dead. Rejoice

[Warhippy]

http://gawker.com/god-hates-fags-preacher-fred-phelps-is-dead-1548012022?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_facebook&utm_source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/fred-phelps-has-died

Fred Phelps Just Died—F**k That Guy

By Gavin Haynes

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Illustration by Victoria Sin

So, Fred’s gone to live with the big fag-hater in the sky. America mourns. The rainbow flags are fluttering at half mast. Really, you can’t overestimate how cut up the nation is. Who, for example, is left to piss all over the country's dead soldiers? It's a responsibility everyone will have to shoulder together.

Saddest of all, the big ol’ flirt ended his days estranged from even the two dozen people he’d made it his life’s work to keep tame and mute. Excommunicated from his church and emotionally exiled from 99.9 percent of the human race, Fred Phelps died as alone as it is possible for a man to be. Pity him for his grim motiveless anger, but let’s at least remember him as he would have wanted us to: as a psychotic, sadistic life-wrecker and overall pretty bad egg. He certainly didn’t want your pity, as the following catalogue of ugh will show.

HE ONCE BLEW AN ALSATIAN APART WITH A SHOTGUN
A quote from his estranged son, Mark Phelps: “One of my earliest memories was the big ol' German shepherd that belonged to our neighbours. One day it was in our yard, and my father went out and blew it apart with his shotgun.”

BUT DON’T WORRY: HE ALSO WON AWARDS FROM CIVIL RIGHTS GROUPS
Back before there was Fred Phelps, evil’s real-world avatar, there was Fred Phelps, tough, respected civil rights lawyer. Phelps was remembered as an eloquent, determined opponent, and the same righteous, grizzled croak that hypnotised his small flock when he turned preacher was what hypnotised juries. Phelps Chartered Law, the law firm that still bears his name, retains an office in downtown Topeka, Kansas.

“I was raised in Mississippi. I knew it was wrong the way those black people were treated. I instinctively knew it was against the word of God,” recalled the man whose congregation once picketed the funeral of a murdered teen.

Partly because work was thin, Phelps took the cases no one else would touch. In 1960s Topeka, if you were black and trying to sue your employer for unfair dismissal, chances were you'd be recommended to consult Fred Phelps. He was so successful that he won awards from the NAACP for all that racial-equality advancement.

“He made a fortune on all those cases,” said Joe Douglas Jr, the black former Topeka fire chief and long-time civil rights activist. “All the businesses hated him because he was so successful. I think if they discriminated against Martians, he would have done those cases. He could make money.”

HE MANAGED TO AVOID LOOKING TOO BAD FOR AGES
Many former clients were gobsmacked when Phelps reinvented himself as the most hated man in America. “I see him out there, and I hear the venom that comes out of his mouth,” Joe Douglas noted. “If you had asked me in the 60s if he would do this, I would have said never.”

HE WAS A HYPOCRITICAL DRUG ADDICT
In the 60s, Fred Phelps wasn’t interested in turning on, tuning in and dropping out. He was that other, less attractive creature: the middle-class, priggish, self-denying, semi-legitimate drug addict using prescription uppers to get him going, and barbiturates to slam the brakes on at night. Eventually, though, his whole system unravelled. One day, he just didn’t wake up. An ambulance was summoned and it took a comatose Phelps off to spend a week in hospital. This was early 1968. Mrs Phelps told her kids that daddy had suffered an allergic reaction.

HE WAS GREAT AT NOT EATING
After his time in hospital, Phelps returned, dried out and then, in what may have been the unravelling of him, dived straight into a near-suicidal regime of water-only fasting for 47 days. His weight plummeted from around 16 to nine stone.

THERE IS NO MORE UNCOMFORTABLY BIZARRE SENTENCE AVAILABLE ON FRED PHELPS THAN THIS FROM JON MICHAEL BELL’S ADDICTED TO HATE
“Mark remembers the family coming back once to find Pastor Phelps jogging around the dining room table, beating the sobbing [Nate] with a broom handle; while doing so, he was alternately spitting on the frightened child and chuckling the same sinecure laugh so disturbing to those who've seen him on television.”

HE CELEBRATED THE DEATH OF HIS SON’S GIRLFRIEND
In 1970, Debbie Valgos was a sweet local girl who had the misfortune to fall in love with Fred Phelps Jr. The pair tried to elope, but were caught by Fred Sr. Discipline followed, but Debbie was then allowed to attend Westboro services along with Fred Jr. At each one of these, she was called a whore from the pulpit. Despite this, she repeatedly asked Fred Sr what she needed to do to be allowed to see his son. Not long after, Betty moved out of town and lost it. By 1972, she was dead of a speed overdose, having already taken half a jar of barbiturates earlier that evening. She was still only 17.

Mark Phelps: "I remember getting home from school the day it appeared in the papers, and my dad came dancing down the stairs, swaying from the knees and clapping his hands, singing: 'The whore is dead! The whore is dead!' He paraded around the house, singing and laughing with that maniacal giggle he has, 'The whore is dead!’”

By 1994, Fred claimed not to recognise the name Debbie Valgos.

HE DID NOT APPRECIATE SLUTTY WITNESSES
The week when Fred Phelps noticeably went from merely conflicted and cruel into batshit and evil was in 1977. The event was a bizarre and recklessly unnecessary bit of malicious suing on his part. A stenographer had failed to prepare a transcript for one of his cases on time. So Phelps decided to sue her for the costs of the case he’d lost – $2,000, plus $20,000 in punitive damages.

Her name was Carolene Brady, and, during the trial, Phelps put her on the stand for three full days, had her declared a hostile witness, relentlessly badgered her and tried every gutter trick in the book to turn it into a show trial about her character, calling in her former boyfriends, and apparently dubbing her a "slut". When he lost, he immediately applied for a retrial. But district authorities were onto him, and when he falsified some of the witness statements for the retrial they had the smoking gun they needed. He was disbarred for two years.

HE SUED SEARS ON BEHALF OF ALL OF US; HE WAS A SEARS MARTYR
By 1974, an increasingly opportunistic Phelps seemed to ejaculate a fresh lawsuit every six and a half minutes. When a TV his sons had been buying on layaway at Sears was out of stock on the day they made the final payment, he duly launched a $50 million lawsuit against the company, on behalf of everyone who ever failed to get their TV/washing machine/bolt gun on time.

This being America, the legal shuffle then a) continued for six years, cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, and c) resulted in a win for Phelps, although the amount settled on was ultimately $60 less than the cost of the TV they’d been trying to buy: $126.

Somehow, in all that kerfuffle, they never even got the original TV.

HE SUED REAGAN RE: THE POPE
As this vexatious litigant dragged himself into the 1980s, his lawsuits got even weirder. He decided he would sue the federal government for appointing an ambassador to the Vatican, because, he said, this violated the line between church and state. He lost.

FRED FIRST CAME TO NATIONAL ATTENTION WHEN HIS CHURCH PICKETED THE FUNERAL OF MATTHEW SHEPHERD, A BOY MURDERED IN A GRUESOME HOMOPHOBIC ATTACK
Phelps then applied for a city zoning permit to build a bronze statue celebrating his entry to hell. It was denied.

THE HITS NEVER STOPPED
Phelps ruled with a literal iron rod. He regularly beat all of his kids, but the most extreme example available to us was when he nearly finished off Nate Phelps on Christmas Day. Nate and Mark had made the fatal error of acquiring some Christmas lights. Fred did not allow Christmas – it was yet more sodomite blasphemy, basically. For his crimes, Nate received more than 200 strokes from an adze handle. He was beaten in 40-stroke batches, alternating with his brother, Mark, who was receiving 20 at a time for slightly lesser crimes. Mark later said he was “hoping I'd be knocked out, or killed... anything to end the pain”.

APPARENTLY, ONE OF HIS FAVOURITE TACTICS WAS TO GRAB A KID BY THE HANDS AND PULL THEM UPWARDS, THEN REPEATEDLY SMASH HIS KNEE INTO THEIR GROIN AND STOMACH, WHILE WALKING ACROSS THE ROOM LAUGHING.
He continued to do this even when they were sexually developed teens. Bit weird, Fred Phelps.

HE CREATED A HIGH QUALITY LABOUR FORCE OF CHILDREN
One day, Phelps was stirring some melted chocolate when he remarked that the kids should try and sell the leftover bits of low quality chocolate in the neighbourhood. The kids jumped at the chance to get out of the house. But they couldn’t quite have envisaged that, from now onwards, they would be going round the city of Topeka and beyond every day from 3 till 8 on weekdays and selling industrial quantities of sweets door-to-door.

On weekends and during summer holidays, they’d be out from 5AM to 10PM, up as far as Omaha, St Joseph, Missouri or Kansas City, shepherded by their mother in the station wagon, while dad was free to practically give up work. Hanging around on the streets like that led them into all sorts of bizarre scenarios, like the time a teenage Jonathan Phelps was chased down the street and bitch-slapped by a knife-wielding transvestite.

AT LEAST RUNNER’S WORLD BLOODY LOVED THE GUY
Phelps forced his family on long and arduous physical exercise programmes, both as a sort of Hitler Youth control device and to get them ready to outrun any coming apocalypse. In this, as with much else in life, he was very successful. So much so that the family were occasionally profiled in fitness magazines. He’d first read about the new "science of aerobics" on the back of a Wheaties box, and had subsequently marched his entire tribe off to the local track, where, from his youngest – who was five – upwards, they were all forced to run five miles every day, no matter what the weather.

Soon, he upped that to ten miles a day. Then, they were being made to run a marathon every Saturday. This had two effects. One: getting a seven-year-old to run a marathon is child abuse, no question. Two: they actually became incredibly good at marathon running, and started getting national attention once they began entering races. In fact, so impressed were the hacks at Runner’s World that they featured the Phelps family on two separate occasions.

HE WAS BRILLIANTLY CUNNING
An under-noticed fact when people sue the Phelpses is that many of them are lawyers. And that, because of how legal aid works, most of their fees are still paid by the state. So being sued can actually be a way to drum up business and profit for Team Phelps. “Being sued was kinda win-win,” agrees ex-cult member Lauren Drain.

FRED PHELPS WAS A SEVERELY DAMAGED MAN, AND IN MANY WAYS HIS STORY IS ONE OFTEN REPEATED ELSEWHERE: THE RATHER ORDINARY DOMESTIC TYRANNY IMPOSED BY THIS BROKEN VESSEL SEEMS FAR MORE UNPLEASANT THAN ALL THE MORE PUBLICITY-SAVVY PLACARD-WAVING STUFF HE DID OUTSIDE THE COMPOUND GATES.
To cheer his demise would be to miss the point. Given how consumed he was by his inferno of projection, death is as much a release for him as it is for the rest of us.

But still – f*ck that guy.

@gavhaynes

----------------------------------------------

Now, while I don't ever wish harm or ill on people for the most part. This one special individual I think we can almost universally agree...has died and the world is a better place for it

[Alex the Great]

F**k That Guy

[TOMapleLaughs]

I liked him in Poltergeist 2.

[Heretic]

We need to be more like this guy:

Yet Mr. Snyder wants Mr. Phelps’s burial to be peaceful.

“I do not like Westboro Baptist Church,” he said, Military Times reported. “I don’t have anything nice to say about them, but if I had anything bad to say about them at this time — or if he dies — it would put me in the same category as him, and I don’t want to be in that category. I don’t like hate.”

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/mar/20/father-fallen-marine-let-westboros-fred-phelps-die/?utm_source=RSS_Feed&utm_medium=RSS

[avelanch]

i'd like to protest his funeral.

[nuckin_futz]

In 1992 Phelps ran as a Democrat for US Senator and got 31% of the vote.

The only thing that kept him a sideshow was that he didn't have any real power. Imagine if he was a senator?

On a side note I wonder what he did to get ex-communicated from Westboro?

[Mr. Ambien]

Let me get this straight, you're rejoicing the death of a guy who was hated because his group rejoiced in the deaths of others. Makes sense.

I am always amused by how alike those that feel strongest about the WBC are to them, albeit just in the opposite direction

Pretty much. If people didn't like the way Phelps spewed hatred, it makes little sense to do the same in return. Guy isn't worth the time. Of course, there's never any shortage of hypocrites.

In 1992 Phelps ran as a Democrat for US Senator and got 31% of the vote.

The only thing that kept him a sideshow was that he didn't have any real power. Imagine if he was a senator?

On a side note I wonder what he did to get ex-communicated from Westboro?

Pissed off Ra's Al Ghul.

Wait, wrong story.

[avelanch]

Let me get this straight, you're rejoicing the death of a guy who was hated because his group rejoiced in the deaths of others. Makes sense.

I am always amused by how alike those that feel strongest about the WBC are to them, albeit just in the opposite direction. Needlessly extreme.

that's like saying we shouldn't be happy that hitler died...

[Mr. Ambien]

that's like saying we shouldn't be happy that hitler died...

It would be like saying let's gas some Germans because Hitler killed Jews.

Keep some perspective, please.

If the problem was the hate and negative attention this guy spewed, it makes no sense to do the same. To do so would indeed be called hypocrisy, which is evidently a concept you are unaware of.

[avelanch]

You're pretty much doing what you hate the guy for. The Hitler comparison does not stand

meh, he's earned it. and I hardly thing stating "i'd like to protest his funeral" even comes close the the vitriol and hate he has spread over the years. so your comparison does not stand.

[avelanch]

It would be like saying let's gas some Germans because Hitler killed Jews.

Keep some perspective, please.

hardly. it's more like saying we should have captured hitler and then gassed him.

keep your own perspective.

[Mr. Ambien]

meh, he's earned it. and I hardly thing stating "i'd like to protest his funeral" even comes close the the vitriol and hate he has spread over the years. so your comparison does not stand.

Protesting someone's funeral is offensive, especially to the family that's attending that I'm sure, despite probably not liking the guy's hatred, still cared about him. Of course, you're so busy thinking of yourself and your selfish oddball "protest" you're missing how asinine and hypocritical such a protest would be.

hardly. it's more like saying we should have captured hitler and then gassed him.

keep your own perspective.

Eye for an eye makes you no better than him. So what are you protesting then?

[avelanch]

Protesting someone's funeral is offensive, especially to the family that's attending that I'm sure, despite probably not liking the guy's hatred, still cared about him. Of course, you're so busy thinking of yourself and your selfish oddball "protest" you're missing how asinine and hypocritical such a protest would be.

Eye for an eye makes you no better than him. So what are you protesting then?

clearly they are into that sort of thing, so they should appreciate it, no?

it's not as if I'd actually fly out and bother to waste my time, money and energy on him. this is an online forum, where we can express how we feel about the crapshow that was his life, just like you can express your holier than thou bs attitude towards it.

[-DLC-]

Karma. Going to a different place than he intended I'm sure.

Here's the thing about people "hating" on this guy. It is different.

He had his own beliefs and those, it seems, trumped empathy, compassion, understanding or even common sense. His message was one that cared little about human dignity or grief and was focused on his own personal agenda and thinking. Sometimes you do have to go beyond your own walls of comfort and walk a mile in someone's shoes...a meeting in the middle vs barreling over people. He and his crackpot kids "decided" and then barged through people in that. Timing is everything and sure, you can rally against things but you don't show up at funerals to do so. The delivery of the message was seriously lacking and most of us know those boundaries. Thinking things and acting them out are two totally different things. So there is no comparison here.

I don't know many who would attend his funeral and hiss. So that puts us on a different level right there.

It's one thing to share an opinion, even if unfavourable or cruel...it's quite another to act upon it. He and his hillbilly hick farm crossed that line.

We don't all have to agree or share the same opinions but when we outwardly carry out our ideas with hurtful actions, that's worthy of condemnation. We can all express them and that in itself can be hurtful, sure, but there are boundaries when it comes to that. If someone is grieving or in pain, your opinions aren't really important at that stage. Save them if it means you knock on the door to share them with them. Discuss - ok. But don't cram it down their throats.

I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't hurt their kids or yell at them. So I am different than this assclown.

I wouldn't make an appearance or write to them telling them "YEA, you're dead", but I surely can think rot in hell you sick bastard. And I do.

We can't be lumped into the same group as this idiot. Don't even try.....

The notoriety, in my view, just makes sure it doesn't go completely unchecked and fester and spread the infection like an open wound. Sure, it gives free publicity and these people likely revel in the attention...but it also exposes them. It's not like they'd crawl back under their rocks and stop their insanity if we weren't looking. They just wouldn't be called to task on it. Stopped them from traveling this way...that may not have happened without the notoriety.

Having no sympathy for this guy was earned by him...he created that, we didn't. It wasn't something that just came out of an idea of hatred...it's in response and reaction to it.

[Mr. Ambien]

clearly they are into that sort of thing, so they should appreciate it, no?

it's not as if I'd actually fly out and bother to waste my time, money and energy on him. this is an online forum, where we can express how we feel about the crapshow that was his life, just like you can express your holier than thou bs attitude towards it.

Right, respecting the family of an idiot is holier than thou. Wish I was so edgy and extreme like the guy I apparently don't like.

He said it better than I could. WBC only has the notoriety it has because of the knee jerk offence they incite in people who don't know better than to stoop to that level in return.

It's also the American political climate to offset something extreme and negative with something extreme and negative. There isn't any "being the better person", which is why that country's social and political climate is so chaotic. So much emphasis on retribution instead of learning from someone's mistake and not making it.

[Tearloch7]

He died too easily for some folks .. blame God ..

[Aladeen]

This is almost as sad as the day Kim Jong Il died

Oh well at least I still have Osama for company!

[VICanucksfan5551]

I don't get why people keep feeding the trolls that are the WBC. They exist entirely to rile people up and provoke reactions.

[Tre Mac]

Dog gone got deaded.

[Jägermeister]

By people getting all riled up they're just giving them more publicity. That's exactly what they want.

The WCB's actions are solely to try and get their twisted message out. If people ignored them and stopped giving them the publicity they are after, they would just fade in to obscurity.