nuckin_futz Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 Balloons are excellent substitutes for condoms. Link to comment
jdatb Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 1 - Be sure to get buff. This does not necessarily mean get muscle. Women can't tell the different between fat and muscle, and it's easier to put on fat. Make sure you're around 200 pounds regardless of your height (minimum). 2 - Use copious amounts of gel in your hair so it's nice and crispy. This tells the woman that you care about your personal appearance, and she'll be just dying to touch your spikes. 3 - Make sure to flaunt some amount of cash around. Women are not good at seeing numbers, so it doesn't matter how large the bills are. My personal favorite is to stash a wad of Canadian Tire 5 cent bills, they almost look like real money to a woman. If you're sly enough, she will not even notice. 4 - Do not allow anyone to establish an emotional connection with you. Girls hate to see guys do that girly stuff. 5 - Do not talk unless required, this will make you seem dark and mysterious. 6 - When it comes time to ask the girl out, make sure to tell her that "she'll do, [you] guess". This stops her from getting overly confident in herself, and girls HATE having self confidence. She will likely never leave you if you follow this crucial step. Happy dating! You are amazing man! Thanks a bunches Imma go out tonight and hook up! Cops can't give you tickets if you don't have your license on you. Truth. I once drove into another car and since I didn't have my license the cops charged the other guy with the damages. Link to comment
BananaMash Posted June 19, 2014 Author Share Posted June 19, 2014 Short on cash? Head to the old folkes home and tell people you're their "long lost grandson" until one believes you. Then ask for some money! Link to comment
Phil_314 Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 Follow EVERYTHING in here. Can't go wrong, gents! Actual chances of success may vary. Link to comment
Kazmanian Devil Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 The best time to masturbate is immediately after eating hot wings. Link to comment
BananaMash Posted June 19, 2014 Author Share Posted June 19, 2014 Also, if you start masturbating 10 minutes before your mom usually gets home from work, the adrenalin will increase the pleasure of your orgasm. Link to comment
canucklax Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 Short on cash? Head to the old folkes home and tell people you're their "long lost grandson" until one believes you. Then ask for some money! this can be repeated weekly, at the same establishment. Had to pay tuition somehow Link to comment
euphoria/ Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 Also, if you start masturbating 10 minutes before your mom usually gets home from work, the adrenalin will increase the pleasure of your orgasm. Tried and true! Link to comment
Gross-Misconduct Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 If you notice your testicles and scrotum are enlarging at an alarming pace, don't panic. Instead, think of all the fun you can have with them like showing them off at parties or playing games like 'Guess how much my scrotum weighs' Link to comment
canucklax Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 I want to have a baby so that my significant other stays with me forever. I need to do it in a way that he doesn't know I did it on purpose I need ideas poke holes in the condom Link to comment
BananaMash Posted June 19, 2014 Author Share Posted June 19, 2014 I want to have a baby so that my significant other stays with me forever. I need to do it in a way that he doesn't know I did it on purpose I need ideas The classic route of poking holes in the condom will most likely work best for you. Also, if you're on birth control currently, I'd stop taking it and just pop some candies that look similar to your particular brand if there's a chance he will see. When you get the news that you're pregnant, break down and cry. Do not show any excitement. Make sure to tell him that you need to be there for each other in this emotionally trying time. Good luck and have fun! Link to comment
BananaMash Posted June 19, 2014 Author Share Posted June 19, 2014 You gotta poke them through the package when he's not around. Link to comment
Intoewsables Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 She will still be pretty in the morning tru Link to comment
babych Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 I want to have a baby so that my significant other stays with me forever. I need to do it in a way that he doesn't know I did it on purpose I need ideas call me Link to comment
babych Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 What can you do? help you make bad decisions Link to comment
BananaMash Posted June 20, 2014 Author Share Posted June 20, 2014 If everyone has herpes it's like no one has herpes. Link to comment
Kazmanian Devil Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Always bring weapons to the airport - there could be terrorists on the plane! Link to comment
BananaMash Posted June 20, 2014 Author Share Posted June 20, 2014 In a situation where you need to remove some body hair but are out of wax, duct tape and gum works just as well. Link to comment
Dancin'Droid Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Lower your expectations and you will always be happy with yourself Link to comment
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