confessions

[c00kies]

I want love, but I realize I'm not ready for it and it makes me really sad. Going from wanting to get a ring, to being single and unsure of what I want in a partner and not being able to form that connection with others  

[Wilbur]

8 hours ago, c00kies said:

I want love, but I realize I'm not ready for it and it makes me really sad. Going from wanting to get a ring, to being single and unsure of what I want in a partner and not being able to form that connection with others  

You'll get there one day.  I was eternally single for the longest time.  I didn't think I'd ever figure it out.  But then something in me clicked.  I'm not sure if was maturity, confidence, or finally meeting the right girl (chances are it was all 3), but I got there. 

 

I tried to use every dating/relationship failure as a learning experience, even if I was reflecting on something from years in my past (because you don't always realize things right away).  For the most part my failures came about because I couldn't get out of my own head rather than focus on the needs/interests of the person I liked.  I was also too worried about failure.  Once I reframed things as "at the very least, I'll get to know someone interesting better", failure was no longer a disaster, it was a learning experience.  Didn't mean it didn't hurt, but it helped knowing I was wiser and better prepared for the next experience.

 

So I guess, reflect reflect reflect without being too hard on yourself.  We all make mistakes in love but that doesn't mean you'll never find it.  I was at a point similar to you in my life when my sister set me up with a person at our work.  I had no expectations of where it would go (which was different from any person I was interested in before, perhaps it was because I didn't know them super well).  Ultimately, it did go nowhere (we were very different).  We dated for a month and it was fine, but it was an off-hand remark from one of her friends after we stopped dating that for some weird reason gave me all the confidence in the world.  The confidence that eventually did lead me to who I've been married to almost 10 years now.  Oddly enough, I don't think I would have ever gotten there without that 1 month relationship.

 

So, once again, don't be too hard on yourself.  We all make mistakes.  Use them as learning experiences to make you better person.  Good luck! 

 

 

[Sharpshooter]

9 hours ago, c00kies said:

I want love, but I realize I'm not ready for it and it makes me really sad. Going from wanting to get a ring, to being single and unsure of what I want in a partner and not being able to form that connection with others  

Love yourself first before seeking love from another. 
 

If you’re not right with you then you’re not going to get what’s right for you. 

[brilac]

I confess ~

 

I am glued to the TV with Governor Jay Insee holds news conferences!  Jay is my person!  Jay listens, and he is getting us back on track in WA state, and protecting us, and has a 74% approval rating as of 4/4, may be higher now.  

[Mainly Mattias]

On 4/28/2020 at 9:56 PM, Wilbur said:

You'll get there one day.  I was eternally single for the longest time.  I didn't think I'd ever figure it out.  But then something in me clicked.  I'm not sure if was maturity, confidence, or finally meeting the right girl (chances are it was all 3), but I got there. 

 

I tried to use every dating/relationship failure as a learning experience, even if I was reflecting on something from years in my past (because you don't always realize things right away).  For the most part my failures came about because I couldn't get out of my own head rather than focus on the needs/interests of the person I liked.  I was also too worried about failure.  Once I reframed things as "at the very least, I'll get to know someone interesting better", failure was no longer a disaster, it was a learning experience.  Didn't mean it didn't hurt, but it helped knowing I was wiser and better prepared for the next experience.

 

So I guess, reflect reflect reflect without being too hard on yourself.  We all make mistakes in love but that doesn't mean you'll never find it.  I was at a point similar to you in my life when my sister set me up with a person at our work.  I had no expectations of where it would go (which was different from any person I was interested in before, perhaps it was because I didn't know them super well).  Ultimately, it did go nowhere (we were very different).  We dated for a month and it was fine, but it was an off-hand remark from one of her friends after we stopped dating that for some weird reason gave me all the confidence in the world.  The confidence that eventually did lead me to who I've been married to almost 10 years now.  Oddly enough, I don't think I would have ever gotten there without that 1 month relationship.

 

So, once again, don't be too hard on yourself.  We all make mistakes.  Use them as learning experiences to make you better person.  Good luck! 

 

 

wish everyone could have that.

 

@c00kies, i hear you. take comfort in that you're still young. i, too, am at that 'i'm not ready' stage but am middle aged. I have experienced this stage many times and for different reasons - recovery from an ended relationship, not wanting to burden another with my own issues, the inability to be vulnerable and now the lack of capacity/drive to replace an impossible connection. i've stopped beating myself up, or at least, i recognize when i do it now and am ok to let it go.

[Cramarossa]

Sheltering in place the last nine weeks has just further reinforced how alone and lonely I am.

[Coconuts]

13 minutes ago, Cramarossa said:

Sheltering in place the last nine weeks has just further reinforced how alone and lonely I am.

It's definitely a challenging time, I'm here for you

[Standing_Tall#37]

1 hour ago, Cramarossa said:

Sheltering in place the last nine weeks has just further reinforced how alone and lonely I am.

You’re not alone in that. If you’re non essential and have enough integrity to follow the rules it is pretty lonely. I’ve been working but beyond that socialization is 0 for the last couple of months.

[brilac]

4 hours ago, Cramarossa said:

Sheltering in place the last nine weeks has just further reinforced how alone and lonely I am.

We just have to look forward, focus on that we are safe inside, focus on our family and friends, that they are safe and are doing the same thing by staying home, and that things will get better. This is a really challenging time.  This has affected my sleep, and really affects me when I see the horrors on TV, and am fixed on numbers.  This has really affected me, but we just have to look forward.  Look forward to better days.  We also have the Western State Pact (WA, OR, CA, CO).  Those Governors are focusing on keeping us safe, and getting us through this! 

 

[goalie13]

I have a bird feeder in the yard.  But now a bigger bird has showed up to eat the little birds.  It wasn't quite what I had in mind.

[SixFootFiveAndJackedAF]

I am gay

[Tre Mac]

When I was a kid I'd listen to the Canucks on CKNW(that's the radio kids) but I would always turn it off when they did the news update because one time they told a story of a kid being abducted from an open window that freak the bejesus out of me lol.  

[bishopshodan]

I have grown a mullet and mustache.

I recently got glasses.

 

Yep.  

 

I look like a Nascar driver.

 

I don't like Nascar. 

 

[brilac]

I confess ~
 

I got up for an instant to go to the kitchen, and came back to the couch...
 

She took my place... I had to scoot my things over to sit down.

[Wilbur]

I promised a student who lived for skate boarding that at some point before the end of the year, he would see me try a board.  Today was the day....it did not go so well.

[brilac]

I confess ~

 

I've had some interesting past experiences at the border/customs.  When I would fly up to Vancouver, they tend to ask more questions than when I fly over to Montreal.  When I fly to Montreal, I've never been asked what my purpose was being there, instead they look at my declaration form, and say merci, followed by thank you.  But when I would fly up to Vancouver, sometimes it was like a Q&A session, and sometimes I would get by with one question or a thank you.  Once I was not paying attention in line, and the agent said next, and I did not respond, so the agent said it in French.  I realized it was my turn.  The last time I flew up to Vancouver was for the Draft, and I thought before hand how I could make the customs interaction quick, so when I spoke to the agent, I got excited about the Draft and smiled, so that was it, just one question.  

 

Another I was busing back to Seattle, and the agent asked me who won the Canucks game.  I really did not know.  I was drinking at the game.  He knew, and told me who won.  

 

Another time again I was busing back to Seattle, and we got to the border, and stayed on the bus for 30-45 minutes.  Later found out another bus at the border, one of the passengers got caught with drugs.  Another time, I sat by two British passengers who had a plant, and overheard them talking about the plant, and them thinking that it was probably not a big deal to take the plant across the border.  Once everyone else on the bus was cleared, we waited, and finally they get on the bus, and I could hear them how they could not believe how the agent was due to the plant.  Yeah... agents are not happy about plants and other things you cannot take across the border. 

 

When I came back from London in January, I spent over an hour at customs.  They were not satisfied with my purchases.  I was over the limit.  And while the agent was calculating the cost of my purchase to US dollars, I thought how I could get out of paying duty, so I small talked, casual conversion while he was going through my things and calculating my purchases, and the agent was very kind to waive the duty, and explained to me what the limit was, and I thanked him. 

 

Now days, I don't think I will be flying nor busing to other countries. But those were fun times!  Going to Canucks games in Vancouver, spending the day in Victoria, flying to Montreal for the Playoffs and going to Quebec City or Ottawa by train from Montreal. 

[Wilbur]

My kids discovered Floor is Lava on Netflix.  I confess, that show makes me smile.

[brilac]

I’m stocking up on candy on Amazon Fresh. I don’t know why my total is $102.32?!! 

[bishopshodan]

I shaved. 

Head and face. 

I now look like an extra for Romper Stomper. 

[brilac]

My hair is growing.  Dark brown and down to my neck and no bangs.  It's the new look.