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Why is it considered selfish to be childless by choice?


Do you want a child in some point of your life?  

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A couple of things immediately came to mind.

I've never ever heard anyone suggest it's "immoral" to be childless by choice. It is just that, a choice, and I commend you for recognizing that it's not for you. But no one I know would judge you for that, so perhaps it's something you've perceived that isn't necessarily true.

I always knew I wanted kids and it's been the best thing in my life....not because I want little Mini Me's running around, but because I have a strong maternal pull and am nurturing. I think it is an amazingly beautiful thing to create a child, who then gets to enjoy a life as I have. If your parents had the same attitude as you....well, think of that as you are focusing on the things that make life worthwhile to you. Remember, you were once that kid running around crying and whatnot. So, to each his/her own applies and both sides of the argument are equally "right"...it's a personal decision to make and there is no right or wrong in it.

This part: Kids causes so much trouble, all they do is cry, running around, yell or rude to other people is a statement based on ignorance and inexperience. Children do that at times, yes. Often because of fatigue, excitement or just a way to express themselves when they haven't yet learned appropriate ways to do so. And it's more a reflection of the parents, not the kids. It's a parents job to attend to the child if he/she is disrupting others. But yes, kids are emotional fireballs at times....usually it's an easy distraction and they're fine.

There are adults who cause as much chaos and inconvenience. Kids on a plane are generally highly excitable and/or fearful. It is normal to experience some turbulence. :)

There is no expectation to have a child and I'm happy that you have decided not to, as it does not appear it would be the right decision. But others do have children as they bring absolute joy and a true purpose for living....just because it isn't a fit for you it doesn't take away that feeling for others.

Investing time and money in a child is the best use of it for someone who wants kids. The thing is, it's an ongoing process from day one and, if done properly and consistently, generally gets easier over time.

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I see 'legacy' mentioned, but not bloodlines. A Legacy can endure even though bloodlines have ended. Those who've chosen to have children whether they know it or not, keep the bloodline of their ancestors going generation after generation. That being said........................

Immoral not to have kids?!?!!????? WTF?!?!?!?!!?!?

It's not a "smart" or "dumb" choice, nor is it a "right" or "wrong" choice. It's simply a choice. Plain and simple.

Whether it be driven by tradition, religion, superstition, whatever, the necessity to bear children when pair bonding is an old school train of thought. Most prevalent with ethnic people.

Maybe North Americans, Europeans and most Commonwealth nations have witnessed too many divorces and broken family situations and the result becomes a choice or decision not to have children.

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It's the concept that you'll leave a legacy of some type.

But it's not immoral.

I'm the only one in my family that doesn't have kids. Only because I haven't found a good woman to settle down and have kids with.

But my sister and brother only had two each. So far my two nieces only have one kid. My best friend doesn't want kids. My other friend has a son with autism so I doubt they are going to have another child. My buddy in Toronto has a son from his first marriage. And no other kids.

So most people I know are having smaller families.

married with no kids here. We don't want them. We like our things and our leisure and our money just fine thanks. Also to the folks who choose to have kids: we are not the village that it takes to raise them. Stop expecting society to pick up the tab on your choice.

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lol I'm still a kid and that was pretty mean :') and it might be true, but still your parents MOST LIKELY spent money and time on you so I think that's pretty selfish of you saying kids are annoying.

Kids are annoying. All of them. I was and you are too. They're supposed to be. They're kids.

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Well, serious enough for you to reply twice in this thread. : P

Good to see another brother in this forum. May God be with you, always (Never the force). Do you think there is an official stands from the bible?

Of course there is. A lot of pressure to reproduce in the western world comes from Christianity. A lot of the East Asian countries have major Confucian influences, whic is all about family honour. Other cultures usually treat fertility as a gift from their god or an individual, mythological god. I'm sure almost every culture had a goddess of fertility at some point in their history.

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This is just for the sake of discussion. Society seems to have an expectations towards married couple where a child is pretty much essential at some point in their life? Why is it such a taboo to remain childfree? Personally, I would rather used the time and resource to buy the things i want or used the time to travel to different places like Europe, Japan, heck, I take travelling to Toronto over having kids.

People who wants kids would say having children is wonderful because you can pass your ideals and legacy to the next generation, or they say they want their children to take care of them when they are old. In my humble opinion, that is the exact definition of selfishness. What makes you think your ideals and legacy is so great that you need to pass it on to the next generation? Maybe your child doesn't want to follow your footstep, have you think of that? Also, having a child doesn't mean someone will take care of you when you got old, it's totally possible that you didn't raise your kids probably and they just end up abandon you in an old folks home and take all your hardwork money.

Kids causes so much trouble, all they do is cry, running around, yell or rude to other people. Rarely would they remain quiet or sit still, last time I was on a plane, a kid was pretty much crying or yelling for the entire duration of the flight. It simply takes too much time/money/effort to teach a child properly and in my opinion, simply wasn't worth the effort.

What do you think?

I don't really think, but more so wish that you're parents thought the same way you do when they first met :)
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One of my biggest fears to wake up one day 10 years from now regretting I never had kids. Sure, I can adopt, but having a child would be so much better. I would like to have a child in the next 6-7 years. Right now, I am enjoying my lifestyle way too much. I enjoy going to fancy restaurants to eat and drink, waking up whenever I want on the weekends, doing spare of the moment things, flying/busing up to Vancouver for Canucks games and sitting close to the ice as possible, drinking expensive champagne, flying down to San Francisco for Lunch, sitting in First Class when flying when the opportunity arises, taking a Brilac vacation - Iceland, London, Paris, etc. A lot would have to change in order for me to become a responsible parent. First, put myself second, take parenting classes with my future significant other or husband, stop calling Starbucks a family-oriented establishment, and many many other things.

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This is just for the sake of discussion. Society seems to have an expectations towards married couple where a child is pretty much essential at some point in their life? Why is it such a taboo to remain childfree? Personally, I would rather used the time and resource to buy the things i want or used the time to travel to different places like Europe, Japan, heck, I take travelling to Toronto over having kids.

People who wants kids would say having children is wonderful because you can pass your ideals and legacy to the next generation, or they say they want their children to take care of them when they are old. In my humble opinion, that is the exact definition of selfishness. What makes you think your ideals and legacy is so great that you need to pass it on to the next generation? Maybe your child doesn't want to follow your footstep, have you think of that? Also, having a child doesn't mean someone will take care of you when you got old, it's totally possible that you didn't raise your kids probably and they just end up abandon you in an old folks home and take all your hardwork money.

Kids causes so much trouble, all they do is cry, running around, yell or rude to other people. Rarely would they remain quiet or sit still, last time I was on a plane, a kid was pretty much crying or yelling for the entire duration of the flight. It simply takes too much time/money/effort to teach a child properly and in my opinion, simply wasn't worth the effort.

What do you think?

I bet you wish your parents didn't have to go through all that crap. Maybe they wish they could go back in time and not make you...

Just for the sake of discussion.

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One of my biggest fears to wake up one day 10 years from now regretting I never had kids. Sure, I can adopt, but having a child would be so much better. I would like to have a child in the next 6-7 years. Right now, I am enjoying my lifestyle way too much. I enjoy going to fancy restaurants to eat and drink, waking up whenever I want on the weekends, doing spare of the moment things, flying/busing up to Vancouver for Canucks games and sitting close to the ice as possible, drinking expensive champagne, flying down to San Francisco for Lunch, sitting in First Class when flying when the opportunity arises, taking a Brilac vacation - Iceland, London, Paris, etc. A lot would have to change in order for me to become a responsible parent. First, put myself second, take parenting classes with my future significant other or husband, stop calling Starbucks a family-oriented establishment, and many many other things.

I honestly was the same way. You will regret it one way or another, but you will never be more fulfilled than having a child. I had two, the first was so awesome. Also, the books, WAY OVER RATED.

Your life will change, but it's great. Sharing a hockey game with your 5 year old will be a moment you can't beat.

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