Armada Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Great idea in theory... I suppose. This story is straight out of the movie “Tommy Boy.” Remember the scene when Chris Farley and David Spade were rolling around in the car with what they thought was a dead deer in the back seat and it woke up and attacked the two? That same kind of event happened — but this time for real — in San Diego, Calif. A man who needed to blow into a Breathalyzer to start his car was too drunk to do so. What he did next is almost unbelievable. He somehow found a raccoon going through the garbage, captured it and then used the raccoon to blow into the breathalyzer. According to a report that was shared on Imgur, the raccoon became unconscious so the man left the raccoon in the car and drove off. A short time after, the raccoon woke up and started to attack the driver. According to telegraph.co.uk: He did not stop driving, however, and so he crashed into a residential fence. The vehicle then apparently ‘came to a stop’ in a swimming pool. I’m not one to judge, but generally when you have a Breathalyzer on your steering wheel it’s there because you haven’t made the best decisions in the past. And this, I have to believe, is this man’s rock bottom. It’s also probably the raccoon’s. http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2015/09/30/man-uses-raccoon-to-start-breathalyzer-equipped-car-raccoon-then-attacks-driver/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostsof1915 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Go Navy! It's not just a job, it's an adventure! Must have been a liberal racoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chalky Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 How the hell did he get the raccoon to be calm enough to blow without getting savagely ripped to shreds. Raccoons are cute, yes, docile? No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nuxfanabroad Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Searching for AA/PETA combo-support group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostsof1915 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Mind Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 I'm impressed he actually got the raccoon to start his car. I'm guessing he kept the raccoon in his car in case he needed it again... but good on the raccoon for getting even with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhillipBlunt Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Thank you for posting this, Armada. Made my day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Ambien Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Should have gave the raccoon his 4 billion units. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MovesLikeDatsyuk Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 LOOOOOOOOOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOMapleLaughs Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 So you're saying raccoons work. Good to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobble Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 It's rakons, Julien. It's a ******* rakon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jägermeister Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 People are such ingenious creatures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inane Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 This is a fantastic story. Love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baka Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 How the hell did he get the raccoon to be calm enough to blow without getting savagely ripped to shreds. Raccoons are cute, yes, docile? No. The man squeezed the raccoon until it lost consciousness before "discarding" it on the floor (possibly assuming it was dead). The story sounds like it could be a hoax to me but if I was to guess I would say he manhandled the raccoon to the point it was barely conscious which is when he was able to get it to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armada Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 The man squeezed the raccoon until it lost consciousness before "discarding" it on the floor (possibly assuming it was dead). The story sounds like it could be a hoax to me but if I was to guess I would say he manhandled the raccoon to the point it was barely conscious which is when he was able to get it to work. That is an actual San Diego PD police report^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
etsen3 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 I don't condone drunk driving or animal abuse but maybe in this case I condone it a little Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baka Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 That is an actual San Diego PD police report^ San Diego police reported it through Detroit on Imgur? And even if it was reported by them how would they actually know it was true? The word of a drunk man who alleged had this bright idea and went to the local park, found a raccoon to his convenience and caught it then used it to pass the test while squeezing it until it went unconscious only to have it wake up and seek revenge instead of trying to escape.And this guy sat their and took the beating for all those injuries while driving suddenly unable to restrain it again? To me it sounds fake. Sure it could be real but the story has a lot of odd holes in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeNiro Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Simpsons did it!! Wait...did they? Seems like something Homer Simpson would do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Building Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 The raccoon was later arrested while displaying symptoms of a contact high: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grapefruits Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Considering you can't just breath into these breathalyzers to start your car to make it work, I smell crap. Actually, I smell racoon crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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