Mother May Be Jailed for Allowing Son to Grieve at Home

[NucksPatsFan]

A mother who allowed her grieving son to take time off school after the death of his father may be jailed.

Kris Jarvis, 39, was killed in a drinking-driving incident in February 2014.

The driver, Alexander Walter, was over the drink limit when he hit Mr Jarvis and friend and fellow cyclist John Morland, 30, at 70mph in Purley on Thames, in Berkshire. Both men were killed in the incident, and Walter was subsequently sentenced to 10 years and three months in prison.

In the months following Mr Jarvis’ death, the attendance of his grieving youngest son, Adam, 11, at Battle Primary School in Reading dropped to 45 per cent.

Reading Borough Council – who employed the father – is now prosecuting Tracey Fidler, 40, Mr Jarvis' fiancee and partner of over 20 years, for letting their son miss school.

Ms Fidler appeared at Reading Magistrates Court on Friday 25 September, and was bailed until Friday 9 October after pleading not-guilty, GetReading reported, and could now face a custodial sentence.

The mother-of-five, who met David Cameron as she campaigned for stricter drink-driving sentences in the wake of her partner's death, said the school was aware of the circumstances but did not agree that her son should have been kept at home.

She toldThe Sunday Times that Adam “was in bits” after his father died, and feared going to school in case his mother “wouldn’t be there” when he returned.

A Change.org petition defending Ms Fidler has garnered over 6,000 signatures in three days.

A Change.org petition set up in support of Tracey Fidler

Amy Parks, Ms Fidler’s friend and the author of the petition, wrote on Change.org: “[Adam] was not truanting, he was grieving. They all still are! Tracey now has just two weeks to build her case against the school, and to defend herself, and her family.”

Reading Borough Council told The Sunday Times: “We are making contact with the family with a view to urgently meeting them and finding a resolution.”

At the time of the crash, a spokesman for the authority said, according to MailOnline: "It is with great sadness that news of the tragic death of two council employees reached us this morning.

"The thoughts of everyone at Reading Borough Council are obviously with their families at this sad time."

The Government introduced stricter penalties on school absences in 2013. However, the rules have been called into question as some parents have been punished when children have missed lessons to attend medical appointments and other important events.

Ms Fidler’s case comes after Gaynor Hodge, 39, and her husband Leigh, 41, were threatened with a £1000 fine after they asked permission for their ten-year-old daughter to miss school to attend her grandfather’s funeral.

Hanbury’s Farm Primary School, Tamworth, told the couple the reason did not amount to “exceptional circumstances”, Mail Online reported.

http://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/world/tracey-fidler-mother-could-be-jailed-for-allowing-her-son-to-miss-school-after-his-father-died/ar-AAeWDRP?li=AAacUQk&ocid=mailsignout

Are you kidding me? Hope she counter sues this school and wins big. I wouldn't want my kids going there, or to be associated with them in any way.

[Odd.]

Hope the Mother wins this.

A load of bullsh!t.

[Mr. Ambien]

Welp they gave the mothers side of the story and not the other one, I'm satisfied. #outrage

[Cerridwen]

And the stupidity continues....... there are no words emphatic enough to describe the stupidity of the school involved. I'm sure the intention of this rule was never to deny children the right to properly grieve and mourn the loss of a beloved parent. Be damned if a school is going to mandate how long is a proper time to mourn by this sort of action.

[-DLC-]

It really ticks me off when schools lose sight of things and overstep their boundaries. They are there to educate children, NOT to make decisions on their behalf...that's the parents' responsibility. Parents know the kids best.

My daughter's school tried something like this...told me she had to go on antidepressants and see a psychiatrist. Three people very close to her had died in succession and she was broken and needed empathy and support. She, too, was absent a lot as she struggled to figure it all out.

The school took a strong arm approach and used discipline and referrals. I pulled her out of the school and we never looked back...they were idiots. They did more harm than good, but were steadfast in their "assessment". She ended up on the honour roll at a school that got it right afterward.

How dare they...all of them.

[-DLC-]

Welp they gave the mothers side of the story and not the other one, I'm satisfied. #outrage

You did read the article? There have been other issues.

The Government introduced stricter penalties on school absences in 2013. However, the rules have been called into question as some parents have been punished when children have missed lessons to attend medical appointments and other important events.

Ms Fidler’s case comes after Gaynor Hodge, 39, and her husband Leigh, 41, were threatened with a £1000 fine after they asked permission for their ten-year-old daughter to miss school to attend her grandfather’s funeral.

Hanbury’s Farm Primary School, Tamworth, told the couple the reason did not amount to “exceptional circumstances”, Mail Online reported.

In what world is this ok? Sounds like an abuse of authority...happens all the time.

[inane]

You did read the article? There have been other issues.

In what world is this ok? Sounds like an abuse of authority...happens all the time.

Trolls do what trolls do, I wouldn't worry about him.

[48MPHSlapShot]

What possible "other side of the story" could there be to justify this?

[Mr. Ambien]

What possible "other side of the story" could there be to justify this?

ikr, who needs other sides of a story, especially when my outrage meter is over 9000? Some usual suspects with the "I only need one side of the story to come to a conclusion" logic. It's like some people just sit around waiting for the next thing to get upset about.

It can't be that the school or local law enforcement didn't buy into a 45% attendance rate over the span of 14 months.

I bet they are just mean people who don't want anyone to grieve. #outrage #socialjustice #conspiracy

People are so funny. Thank you.

[Industrious1]

Although I disagree about the circumstances not being 'exceptional', a death in the family (especially of a parent) seems like a solid reason to miss some time...I am still left wondering how many days that 45% attendance rate actually encompassed?

For a lot of work places i've seen you get about a week (paid) bereavement. I'm not sure what the standards are for a schooling facility.

[Rounoush]

Trolls do what trolls do, I wouldn't worry about him.

So he's a troll for asking people to be more reasonable, patient and logical? Ok...

[Warhippy]

So he's a troll for asking people to be more reasonable, patient and logical? Ok...

Yes. Because the following comment I have quoted is reasonable logical and displaying oodles of patience and or maturity.

Charging a parent for allowing a child to miss school because said child may have developed a psychological fear of loss after the death of a guardian is beyond bs.

ikr, who needs other sides of a story, especially when my outrage meter is over 9000? Some usual suspects with the "I only need one side of the story to come to a conclusion" logic. It's like some people just sit around waiting for the next thing to get upset about.

It can't be that the school or local law enforcement didn't buy into a 45% attendance rate over the span of 14 months.

I bet they are just mean people who don't want anyone to grieve. #outrage #socialjustice #conspiracy

People are so funny. Thank you.

I agree, I get my kicks readin some of your goods. People are funny

But this is not the place of the government to interfere.

I find it laughably hypocritical you post endlessly about government interference in peoples' lives yet sit there and defend this.

Don't ever change my man

[48MPHSlapShot]

ikr, who needs other sides of a story, especially when my outrage meter is over 9000? Some usual suspects with the "I only need one side of the story to come to a conclusion" logic. It's like some people just sit around waiting for the next thing to get upset about.

It can't be that the school or local law enforcement didn't buy into a 45% attendance rate over the span of 14 months.

I bet they are just mean people who don't want anyone to grieve. #outrage #socialjustice #conspiracy

People are so funny. Thank you.

So, the circumstances weren't "exceptional", then?

Maybe...just maybe....the mother has a better idea of how the child is coping WITH THE DEATH OF HIS FATHER then the school does.

Or should we treat all children as automatons, with a predetermined amount of time given to grieve when, oh, I dunno.....THEIR FATHER GETS HIT BY A CAR AND DIES?

Geez. And people wonder why the world is going to crap.

[Mr. Ambien]

So, the circumstances weren't "exceptional", then?

Maybe...just maybe....the mother has a better idea of how the child is coping WITH THE DEATH OF HIS FATHER then the school does.

Or should we treat all children as automatons, with a predetermined amount of time given to grieve when, oh, I dunno.....THEIR FATHER GETS HIT BY A CAR AND DIES?

Geez. And people wonder why the world is going to crap.

For one, we don't know what other causes might have contributed to the matter of truancy. Maybe they were failing courses due to missing so much class? Obviously there are rules that contributed to this.. but since we haven't heard from the school (and might not due to, surprise, privacy laws), the notion that one side is sufficient is garbage.

Obviously considering there might be another side is too logical. We iz on a mission of outrage.

[TOMapleLaughs]

Figured this topic would be troll bait and was not shocked to see this guy trollin'.

[Mr. Ambien]

[TOMapleLaughs]

It's not that your opinion is different. It's that you're assuming your opinion matters.

[48MPHSlapShot]

For one, we don't know what other causes might have contributed to the matter of truancy. Maybe they were failing courses due to missing so much class? Obviously there are rules that contributed to this.. but since we haven't heard from the school (and might not due to, surprise, privacy laws), the notion that one side is sufficient is garbage.

Obviously considering there might be another side is too logical. We iz on a mission of outrage.

So we're just going to make assumptions in favor of the school then? Based on...absolutely nothing?

Okay then.

Edit: We can only take the story as it is presented to us. Tell me, how did you take it when your father was hit by a car and killed when you were a child?

What? That didn't happen to you?

Well then there really isn't any way you can comprehend what kind of grief the boy has gone through. Hell, even if the exact same thing had happened to you as a child, it still wouldn't give you the right to judge. Everybody deals with death in their own way. It saddens me that in a "civilized society", some people are so unwilling to give the benefit of the doubt to people who have had to deal with a tragic situation such as this. It makes me fear for the future.

[Bocivus]

I don't see how pointing out the fact that there is another side to the story that hasn't been brought to light is considered trolling. As much as the words "facts", "logic" and "reason" are tossed around here you'd think that the phony outrage would, at the very least, wait until the whole story is put out. But naw, that's not the M.O with most of the CDC crowd. Reading the headline, getting a piece of a story and then venting on the boards about how outraged they are is the typical response. Makes me laugh every time.

[Mr. Ambien]

It's not that your opinion is different. It's that you're assuming your opinion matters.

All the posters responding to me says otherwise, but thanks for the bad attempt at trying to get under my skin.

So we're just going to make assumptions in favor of the school then? Based on...absolutely nothing?

Okay then.

Edit: We can only take the story as it is presented to us. Tell me, how did you take it when your father was hit by a car and killed when you were a child?

What? That didn't happen to you?

Well then there really isn't any way you can comprehend what kind of grief the boy has gone through. Hell, even if the exact same thing had happened to you as a child, it still wouldn't give you the right to judge. Everybody deals with death in their own way. It saddens me that in a "civilized society", some people are so unwilling to give the benefit of the doubt to people who have had to deal with a tragic situation such as this. It makes me fear for the future.

I lost my father when I was 10 (shy of my 11th birthday, I somehow think I better identify with this person than you), thanks much. Always funny reading people and their terrible presumptions because someone presents a different argument to their emotional tirade. If I were you I'd fear more for my inability to think rationally and how this is far more a problem than someone who actually seeks out the other side of the argument.

I don't see how pointing out the fact that there is another side to the story that hasn't been brought to light is considered trolling. As much as the words "facts", "logic" and "reason" are tossed around here you'd think that the phony outrage would, at the very least, wait until the whole story is put out. But naw, that's not the M.O with most of the CDC crowd. Reading the headline, getting a piece of a story and then venting on the boards about how outraged they are is the typical response. Makes me laugh every time.

Exactly.

After reading numerous articles, there are indeed privacy laws that prevent much info from being extracted (unfortunately it seems important to violate this kid's privacy because people want to go batcrap crazy), but what's obvious is there are long standing rules in that area concerning kids and truancy. Parents are notified extensively that absences from school, especially frequent, require prior approval from the school. Otherwise, they risk fines and jail. And certainly parents are sent notifications regarding this as their kids miss time (particularly without notification/approval), but the parent is playing the usual "I didn't get any of those" card.

It's really something how often people jump to conclusions, and when you present the fact that there is another side of the story, "hurr durr troll", "hurr durr i bet u never experienced a parent dying", etc. Bunch of crazy people.