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on the cycle

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I don't know the numbers, but I'd say that there's more people with depression now than ever before. There's a lot of contributing factors, so I won't blame any one thing, but it's good to have things like this where we can share and encourage each other. 

Diagnosis is becoming better, even if the medical system is miles from where it needs to be for treatment and support. Mental illness is common from my wife's father's side of the family, but was never diagnosed by anyone, only suspected (which led to some terrible outcomes).

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I've had a good 17-20 year battle with depression, which is crazy because I'm only 26. Depression is one of those funny things that's super individual and everyone responds to everything differently. Took years and trying about 5 different ones but the doctor finally found me the right medication. It's been a god send and definitely saved my life. I long ago lost count of how many suicide attempts I made. Most of those happened while I was already in therapy. I've tried just about every kind under the sun and none of them did a fraction of what the medication did for me. It made me a functional person again. 

Then, once I finally finished university, I moved away for work. Best thing that ever happened to me AINEC. I've never been happier. I basically got to hit the reset button on my life and it's been amazing. It was crazy unexpected because I didn't think I'd be able to handle working. I had never been able to before but suddenly once it was the job I'd worked my whole life for it was completely different. I love it. It really gave me a purpose and going to work every day and having to pretend I'm a regular person actually makes me feel like one. There are still mornings I just don't want to get up and wish I could just blow everything off but I consider it a non-negotiable and slug it out anyways and it always makes me feel better (or at least gets me out of bed and out of the house for a while). I've always been one of those super independent people who is perfectly happy to live alone (and needs a lot of alone time after being around people all day) though so just picking up and leaving my old life largely behind was perfect for me but probably wouldn't work for most people. 

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