What truly makes you happy?

[Monty]

1 hour ago, RUPERTKBD said:

Yeah, it's hard to understand until you're a parent.

I was talking to someone much older about this a few days ago. The only I do talk to now are other parents. Not because “that’s all there is around, now”, but because they are the only ones that “get it”. For me, as I’m sure is the case with many parents, the world is anew and you are looking at things in an entirely different light. 

 

Yesterday was me and my wife’s 14 wedding anniversary. We decided to go to a spa for the day (amazing). So our good friends picked up our daughter at day care so we didn’t have to rush back. This was the first time someone other than me or my wife picked her up, though. When we got to our friends house, she was crying unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Not hysterical, but confused and like her heart was broken.

 

She’s only 14 months old, and you can’t explain to a kid that young that Aunt Melissa is going to pick her up, but we’ll see her shortly after. So used to a routine and structure, which kids do need, but they also need to learn how to be flexible. Was heartbreaking to see her unbelievably sad.

 

1 hour ago, RUPERTKBD said:

When my first was born and I got to hold her, I took her to the window and showed her the world.

It’s funny how everyone is different when their child is born. There is no right or wrong reaction, because it’s so sudden. My wife went in at 8:30pm, and our daughter was born a few hours later, right at 1:00am.

 

The first thing my wife said, and she does not curse very often, “Holy s**t! It’s a person!” 

 

I just started laughing.

[D-Money]

On ‎2016‎-‎11‎-‎17 at 8:46 PM, Mainly Mattias said:

when bad things don't happen..

Surprisingly not true. I can think of many cases of people being happy despite terrible things happening to/around them. Conversely, there are plenty of people who are far better off than most, and yet whine about every little conceived hardship.

 

True happiness is not really dependent on circumstances... ...at least, not to the degree you'd expect.

 

On ‎2016‎-‎11‎-‎20 at 2:04 AM, TU90 said:

I used to think the same thing.

 

Now that I make a lot of money I find it just creates more stress and expectation to continue to make a lot of money.

 

Mo money mo problems.

 

That being said, helping others and enjoying stuff with my family makes me happy, so there's both sides. Not having any money would definitely make things harder to enjoy.

I've done research on this. Numerous studies have shown that money measurably increases happiness when you're poor. But once you reach the point where your needs are met, additional income has very little effect on happiness. Practically zero.

 

Being able to give to others definitely increases happiness. However, it doesn't have to be money. Time, love, and attention are more important (to the people who truly matter) anyways. In fact, if people cut back a little on making money, and spent the free time with their family instead, both themselves and their family would probably be more happy, despite having less materially.

 

 

My opinion? Happiness is all about balance.

[Alflives]

36 minutes ago, D-Money said:

Surprisingly not true. I can think of many cases of people being happy despite terrible things happening to/around them. Conversely, there are plenty of people who are far better off than most, and yet whine about every little conceived hardship.

 

True happiness is not really dependent on circumstances... ...at least, not to the degree you'd expect.

 

I've done research on this. Numerous studies have shown that money measurably increases happiness when you're poor. But once you reach the point where your needs are met, additional income has very little effect on happiness. Practically zero.

 

Being able to give to others definitely increases happiness. However, it doesn't have to be money. Time, love, and attention are more important (to the people who truly matter) anyways. In fact, if people cut back a little on making money, and spent the free time with their family instead, both themselves and their family would probably be more happy, despite having less materially.

 

 

My opinion? Happiness is all about balance.

DItto.  A well balanced mind, body and soul is the way to go.  

There are many who seem to choose to be unhappy though, maybe?

[bishopshodan]

To crush your enemies. See them driven before you. And to hear the lamentations of their women.

[D-Money]

3 minutes ago, Alflives said:

DItto.  A well balanced mind, body and soul is the way to go.  

There are many who seem to choose to be unhappy though, maybe?

Yes.

 

In many cases it's because they think the thing that offers the most immediate pay-off is what will make them happiest. Kind of like a child, who turns his nose up at vegetables and just wants to eat candy. To the kid, having candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner would be the ultimate life. But the end result would be cavities, malnutrition, and essentially misery.

 

Happiness is both psychological, and physiological. So what you choose to feed your mind and body will have a major effect on how you generally feel.

 

Also, happiness has more to do with expectations than circumstances.

[Lancaster]

58 minutes ago, bishopshodan said:

To crush your enemies. See them driven before you. And to hear the lamentations of their women.

Cue the Mongoltage!

[Lancaster]

I used to believe that money is what can bring me the most happiness.... at least until my daughter was born, then subsequently dying, and now my son who is in the NICU.  

The strive for wealth doesn't seem to be as important as it used to be.  What would make me truly happy would be have my son in perfect health and just being able to hold my little girl just one more time.  

 

A bit heavy... but happiness in life is about connection and there's no more stronger connection than with your loved ones (especially you children).  

[Nuxfanabroad]

It's interesting that happiness "in the moment" is often ephemeral, fleeting & forgotten.

 

Adversity, & times of real trouble can be so overwhelming, stressful, & generally nasty. Yet somehow, one usually endures such obstacles. Yet in retrospect, those moments often resonate, & bring a strange satisfaction/pleasure.

[-AJ-]

The older I get, the more I realize that material possessions only provide temporary happiness and aren't worth investing heavily into. Relationships are far more lasting and rewarding.

[kingofsurrey]

10 things that truly make me happy....

 

Fishing a quiet flow in the Eastern Fraser Valley

Spending quiet time with the family and their significant others.

Walking in a quiet local park in the back trails

Having a beer post game after rec hockey.

Assisting a goal in rec hockey - especially back door pass.

Eating / Drinking in a foreign country

Quiet time reading NewYork Times

Nice glass of Red Wine ( shiraz preferably )

Gin and Tonic in my backyard in summer

Walking the Seawall in Vancouver

 

[Sean Monahan]

23 minutes ago, kingofsurrey said:

10 things that truly make me happy....

 

Fishing a quiet flow in the Eastern Fraser Valley

Spending quiet time with the family and their significant others.

Walking in a quiet local park in the back trails

Having a beer post game after rec hockey.

Assisting a goal in rec hockey - especially back door pass.

Eating / Drinking in a foreign country

Quiet time reading NewYork Times

Nice glass of Red Wine ( shiraz preferably )

Gin and Tonic in my backyard in summer

Walking the Seawall in Vancouver

 

What happened to bowling?

[kingofsurrey]

10 minutes ago, Sean Monahan said:

What happened to bowling?

Tough going for pro bowling to  rec....  really tough transition for me.

 

From the women, the party favours..., bowling alley bunnies.....,   nice hotels -  top restaurants with no reservations.....   to now coed mix league in surrey.

To be honest the joy of the game left me. Drinking crept up on me.  Got the shakes,,,,  and my game dissolved....

Got the yips like a golfer when putting...   

 

I think back to when i was a kid bowling saturday morning in the U 14 league.  Real competitive and winning those youth trophies.

Dreaming one day of being on the circuit. Those were the best of days when i was growing up. Playing for fun and trophies. 

 

Sure i still  throw a  few balls on thursday night in my surrey co-ed league but the joy is kinda gone.

 

I have switched over to rec ice hockey.  Loving sports all over again.  All new to me.    Much more social than my days on the competitive bowling circuit....  pro bowlers don't raze each other while  naked after each game like hockey players do....

[Rob_Zepp]

3 hours ago, kingofsurrey said:

...  pro bowlers don't raze each other while  naked after each game like hockey players do....

Are you implying pro bowlers do other things with each other while naked after each game?

[kingofsurrey]

1 hour ago, Rob_Zepp said:

Are you implying pro bowlers do other things with each other while naked after each game?

Haha  nope.

I am implying that having a few naked beers with your hockey teamates post game is about as good as life gets.....

Shooting the BS post game with your buds over beers in the room is awesome.

 

When i gave up high level rugby i didn't miss the games that much as there was tons of pressure to win.. etc.

I did miss practise and practical jokes....   working hard training...  post games beers... 

Time in the dressing room with you mates....

 

You know how if feels Rob - you have been there.  Great, isn't it ? 

 

[Rob_Zepp]

36 minutes ago, kingofsurrey said:

Haha  nope.

I am implying that having a few naked beers with your hockey teamates post game is about as good as life gets.....

Shooting the BS post game with your buds over beers in the room is awesome.

 

When i gave up high level rugby i didn't miss the games that much as there was tons of pressure to win.. etc.

I did miss practise and practical jokes....   working hard training...  post games beers... 

Time in the dressing room with you mates....

 

You know how if feels Rob - you have been there.  Great, isn't it ? 

 

It is....one of the best feelings in the world.   Could not agree more.

 

Cheers!  

[CBH1926]

Family

[189lb enforcers?]

Acceleration, guitars, fishing and the beauty of nature. 

 

And nothing really beats a good trucker breakfast, except for maybe a few things I can’t say here. 

 

People with a sense of humour tend to make me happy as well. 

 

I offer these rather than the canned answer of, “my family”, even though they really are my everything, as a dad. 

[canucks since 77]

When my two grown up children call me and tell me they miss and love me. Having them visit. My two big shaggy dogs that compete for my affection. My wife when she rolls over in the morning to to give me that sleepy smile. I dont have a lot of material things due to past circumstances but I feel rich none the less. It's a funny old world, isn't it.

Happy Holidays. 

[189lb enforcers?]

On 2017-12-23 at 5:55 PM, canucks since 77 said:

When my two grown up children call me and tell me they miss and love me. Having them visit. My two big shaggy dogs that compete for my affection. My wife when she rolls over in the morning to to give me that sleepy smile. I dont have a lot of material things due to past circumstances but I feel rich none the less. It's a funny old world, isn't it.

Happy Holidays. 

Your post made me happy. 

[milk and honey]

As different as it can be in our culture. It's going to a church where the music and teaching speaks to me. Being in God's presence is just something else and can't explain other then it being peaceful and so much.