Monty Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 10 minutes ago, D-Money said: Perhaps it's time to try something new? There's always tomorrow, and there's always a new path. Something new like this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-Money Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 3 minutes ago, PhillipBlunt said: I'm fine now. That was years ago. Soundgarden's music was a lifesaver. I'll never understand why some people feel the need to be a counselor on these boards... Perhaps you are fine, and perhaps someone else reading what you posted is feeling the exact same way right now. Felt it wasn't right to just leave it hanging, so chose to address it with something positive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-DLC- Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 30 minutes ago, D-Money said: I don't want to be too blunt (), but maybe that's been part of the problem? Trying to find solace from depression and suicidal thoughts by immersing yourself in music about depression and suicidal thoughts from a guy who was depressed and had suicidal thoughts may be counterproductive. Perhaps it's time to try something new? There's always tomorrow, and there's always a new path. When someone very close to me was extremely anxious and depressed, she barely functioned. She didn't sleep at night and spent most days in bed...even on sunny days, curtains drawn, listening to Matt Good's somber stuff. To try to "urge" her out of it, I quickly learned that she really had to work through it, not force it. It actually made her feel more alienated as I tried the "let's go out for a walk and be cheery in the sunshine". She wasn't in a place that she could do that, so it was agitating to her. She got into therapy, then passed along some of the recommendations in how I could/should help her. To just let her know I was there, unconditionally. That music is like that...there, unconditionally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-Money Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 7 minutes ago, debluvscanucks said: Sorry to chime in, but I get it (Blunt's take). I know you meant well, but it is hard for some to understand. It (this music) provided a release for me...worked me through stuff. Gave clarity and let stuff pour out that needed to. It's a feeling of NOT being alone when you really may be. Sometimes, in the wee hours where silence was deafening and allowed thoughts to terrify me. It was comfort. It can ease you through the tunnel of darkness...takes your hand and goes with you. At least that's how it is for me. I used to find it impossible NOT to listen to the music I so desperately needed when I so desperately needed it. Like now... It's good that you have something that helps you. And you're right that it's hard to understand for someone not in the same situation. Just based on my own experiences and observations, I wonder about the long-term result. For example, if there was someone who was depressed about being overweight, and found what really helped them feel comfort and solace from that feeling was to eat junk food. In that case, although there is a short-term benefit, the major underlying factor was only strengthened in the process. I'm not trying to take anything away from anyone, or disparage Cornell. I listened to him a lot too in my younger years. But I grew tired of the constant negativity being presented in the music, and moved onto other genres. Ironically, after leaving "grunge" behind, two artists that became my favourites were David Bowie and Prince. To see these two cling to life and have it taken from them was much more sad to me then Cornell choosing it. I pity the guy, and feel extremely sorry for his family, but I have no desire to immerse myself in his thoughts - the same ones that drove him to hurt himself and everyone who loved him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-DLC- Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 8 minutes ago, D-Money said: It's good that you have something that helps you. And you're right that it's hard to understand for someone not in the same situation. Just based on my own experiences and observations, I wonder about the long-term result. For example, if there was someone who was depressed about being overweight, and found what really helped them feel comfort and solace from that feeling was to eat junk food. In that case, although there is a short-term benefit, the major underlying factor was only strengthened in the process. I'm not trying to take anything away from anyone, or disparage Cornell. I listened to him a lot too in my younger years. But I grew tired of the constant negativity being presented in the music, and moved onto other genres. Ironically, after leaving "grunge" behind, two artists that became my favourites were David Bowie and Prince. To see these two cling to life and have it taken from them was much more sad to me then Cornell choosing it. I pity the guy, and feel extremely sorry for his family, but I have no desire to immerse myself in his thoughts - the same ones that drove him to hurt himself and everyone who loved him. In the case I've highlighted, the person has to be ready. There are deeper, underlying issues...the junk food is just the outlet. But take it away and those issues are still there. Hoarders...clean up the mess for them, but they're still broken. Alcoholics can be forced to quit drinking a number of times but until they hit bottom and are ready, it's usually futile. So just taking this music out of the equation just leaves a void and someone who is broken. It can be one of the only things they DO feel comfort in. I'm no expert, but I have an awful lot of experience in this. Someone I loved was on that ledge and I was pushing them further until I listened to what they needed. Which was very different than what I'd been offering. What it did to/for my loved one when I pushed to "just be happy/get over it" was reinforce that she was failing at being happy. So it plummeted her further. She just needed to be understood...to work through it and gently take steps. It's very complex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-Money Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 1 minute ago, debluvscanucks said: When someone very close to me was extremely anxious and depressed, she barely functioned. She didn't sleep at night and spent most days in bed...even on sunny days, curtains drawn, listening to Matt Good's somber stuff. To try to "urge" her out of it, I quickly learned that she really had to work through it, not force it. It actually made her feel more alienated as I tried the "let's go out for a walk and be cheery in the sunshine". She wasn't in a place that she could do that, so it was agitating to her. She got into therapy, then passed along some of the recommendations in how I could/should help her. To just let her know I was there, unconditionally. That music is like that...there, unconditionally. All good thoughts, Deb. Therapy is often necessary. I have a few friends who have attempted suicide (that I know of). Fortunately, they all failed. In at least two of their cases, I felt what they chose for entertainment exacerbated their situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-Money Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 2 minutes ago, debluvscanucks said: In the case I've highlighted, the person has to be ready. There are deeper, underlying issues...the junk food is just the outlet. But take it away and those issues are still there. What it did to/for my loved one when I pushed to "just be happy/get over it" was reinforce that she was failing at being happy. So it plummeted her further. She just needed to be understood...to work through it and gently take steps. It's very complex. Oh, definitely. I have read some material recently on helping depressed ones, and as a 3rd party you can't force anything. As you said, the best thing you can do is just be there for them. However, when you are the depressed person, and you are ready to take steps to better your situation, I personally think one of the steps you should consider is what you feed your mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-DLC- Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLASSJAW Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 1 hour ago, Monty said: @GLASSJAW This is for you the birth of this song is more tragic than the death of its singer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-DLC- Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 Been confirmed as suicide...so bloody sad... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-Money Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 10 minutes ago, GLASSJAW said: the birth of this song is more tragic than the death of its singer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Down by the River Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 1 hour ago, Monty said: @GLASSJAW This is for you Monty, you're a terrible person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 5 minutes ago, Down by the River said: Monty, you're a terrible person. I mean, ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alflives Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 TBH i never heard of this fellow. But reading here about him, and listening to some of his songs, I see why he was liked by so many. Very sad how so many talented people, like him, take their own lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canucklax Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 Such terrible news to wake up to. I grew up south of Seattle, so Soundgarden and Audioslave were always on the radio. He stood out from all other singers I've heard in that he not only had immense talent, especially such a wide vocal range, but that he paired it with lyrics that connected to those listening and that you could feel the emotion. A special talent, and great person on top of that, his wife and him had a charity that helped at-risk youth. I know there is a debate above in this thread about listening to his music when you're feeling low, but for me it was always helpful to have something, someone I could connect to when I'm in those dark places. Him and Layne got me through a lot, and will continue to in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurt Nirvanagut Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 Suicide by hanging. Those 90s grunge rock poster children have not fared too well, have they? RIP. No kind of fan of his music but every kid in the 90s enjoyed the Black Hole Sun music video. Big loss to the family, friends, fans, and genre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bombastik der Teutone Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 rest in peace and thanks for some great music ..specially in the 90´s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhillipBlunt Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 1 hour ago, Down by the River said: Monty, you're a terrible person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Arrogant Worms Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 This is rather heartbreaking to watch now........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostsof1915 Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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