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Mafia - Cocaine & Combovers (MAFIA WIN, DM A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT)

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falcon45ca

By falcon45ca
in White Noise

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Aladeen Canucks Hall-of-Famer

Aladeen

Posted
Posted
23 minutes ago, luckylager said:

Pffft, TLJ kicks the crap out of the prequels. Episode 1-3 were awful, especial 1 and 2. Total trash.

If you managed to live through the utter disappointment of that era of Star Wars you really shouldn't be complaining about the most recent additions IMO.

 

My only beef with the new stuff is Kylo. The dude is way too much of a pussy / emotional hipster to be a good sith. To even present a Sith that has an overwhelming sense of conflict between light and dark IN EVERY SCENE is just a bitch move and panders to snowflake culture. 

 

We saw absolutely no conflict in Vader until Lukr was being tortured by the Emperor in the dying minutes of the third film. We didnt have to watch him struggle with teenaged emotions for 5.5hrs before he makes a firm decision.

Like, you'd have thought he'd find his way after killing Han, but nope. Just a sullen little wanker listening to AFI's Eternal Suckage on the Black Seas of Crybaby Punkrock.

 

omg... are you serious? if I had the time to tell you how wrong you were about it all I would. 

 

At least, at least the prequels had character development and an anti-hero epic, wtf does TFA and TLJ have? absolutely nothing going for it... I would lay out step by step how terrible TLJ truly was on a scale never before seen on screen but I have done this before in mafia and it really isn't worth my time. 

 

I would take Jar Jar all day everyday over the pathetic excuse for a movie that was TLJ

 

Ok I do have the time:

 

Why TLJ Sucks more than even the Prequels:

 

1. Zero Character Development - Evidenced especially in the Character Finn... in TFA Finn was a goofy Stormtrooper that had a struggle of conscience in not wanting to kill and thus turned away from the FO. He was not an exceptional pilot, not an exceptional soldier, was pretty ordinary in every way - and got his ass kicked by a regular stormtrooper in TFA. Then in TLJ he somehow has grown into a warrior who is able to defeat one of the best soldiers all while giving witty one liners like "chrome dome". What made the Original Trilogy so great was the Hero's Epic... watching farm boy Luke turn into a Jedi unafraid of facing Vader and Palpatine on their own Death Star... what turned Finn into a one man chrome dome wrecking crew? Who dafaq is snoke? Why is General Hux so lame? What is Phasma's Story and why does she give af? Purple haired lady - where did she come from why is she the best choice to be leader? etc etc etc

 

2. The underlying theme of the movie? Don't question authority - Evidenced by the purple haired lady and her "plan" to save all the Resistance from the Superior forces of the FO. This she refuses to share with their most senior pilot and war hero Poe Dameron. Why couldn't she share her stupid plan that made no sense with him? cause she didn't trust him but he should trust her implicitly - someone who has never been shown before should be trusted unquestioningly by the main hero of the Resistance like WTF? To enact her stupid plan at minimum dozens of resistance members had to have known it including every pilot of every ship that was in their resistance armada and yet it must be kept secret from Poe. Even when Poe feels compelled to mutiny to find out if they can save the last of the Resistance, still she won't tell him the lame ass plan.  

 

3. Gotcha! Gotcha! Gotcha!.... This movie is all about the Gotchas or maybe fans of this gross incompetence of film might say "subverting our expectations" :picard: How many twists can one movie have? Well for the folks that made TLJ the more the better apparently. 

Gotcha examples:

  •  Rey Finds Luke after all the struggle of the first movie to epically and ceremoniously give him his lightsaber back - Gotcha! - Luke doesn't give an eff and tosses it away like it's garbage
  • Tie Fighter Destroys the bridge of Leia's ship, She and the entire resistance command are sucked into space and Leia is effed - Gotcha! - Leia is really a force wielding space angle that is only mildly inconvenienced by getting sucked into space - didn't see that one coming you dumbass audience did you? 
  • Finn and Rose must leave Armada and find one man in the Galaxy that can break the Code, no other person is capable of disabling a hyperspace tracker except him - Gotcha! - Turns out a Random guy they get imprisoned with is capable of that as well, damn it's lucky there were 2 such Master Code Breakers at the same Casino what are the odds of that? Time to play some Craps. - But wait wait - Double Gotcha - it was a trap because somehow someone in the FO was able to predict this terrible plan and hire one of the only 2 Master Code Breakers in the galaxy to turn on them - Like the old saying goes when playing Craps always bet on black :blink: 
  • Who can forget the scene where Luke comes out to face the FO's army, standing so valiant and they blast the eff out of him and nothing, so Kylo goes into one of his patented Emo rages and destroys Luke in single combat - Gotcha! - It's Hologram Luke and you can't kill Hologram Luke you fool! - Double Gotcha  Luke still dies. 
  • From Sandy Hoth to "Meh Rey's parents weren't important actually after all the hype in the TFA" there are so many gotchas throughout the movie it's like an easter egg hunt if you ever want to waste 2 hours of your life going back to rewatching the movie. 

 

4. Changing the established physics within a science fiction - Why has no one ever thought to build ships before with hyper drives and use them as missiles before? Cause they didn't have purple hair, this can be the only logical reason from TLJ. But in reality the physics within the SW universe has long held about hyper space travel is that your not moving faster but rather opening into a pocket outside of the normal universe. This is why it is impressive when the Falcon did the Kessel Run in Under 12 Parsecs (not meaning it's going faster as TLJ would have us believe but rather it reduced the distance from point A to Kessel) Why spend Quadrillions of Space Credits on Death Stars? Just hyperspace ships into planets and each other that is all the tech that is truly needed. 

 

5. 12 of us survived!!! let's Party! - Gotta love how everything worked out in the end, how happy everyone was, it feels good to live in the now and forget about the 99.9% of the resistance members that were just lost due sheer stupidity for the most part. But we can't let that interfere with the last scene of the movie don't want the audience to feel bad leaving the theater do we?

 

This doesn't even include the terrible fight scenes, how the movie basically made the Jedi order pointless, destroyed the image of the heroes we loved and admired growing up, killed any notion of anything like a Hero's epic moving into the next movie, but hey it sells lunch boxes and kids toys and still makes billions at the box office so what do I know. 

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Ceres Canucks Third-Line

Ceres

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Aladeen said:

 

  •  Rey Finds Luke after all the struggle of the first movie to epically and ceremoniously give him his lightsaber back - Gotcha! - Luke doesn't give an eff and tosses it away like it's garbage

This was basically an allegory for what TLJ did to the story that led up to it. Once I saw that happen I knew it was not going to be good. 

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luckylager Canucks Hall-of-Famer

luckylager

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Aladeen said:

omg... are you serious? if I had the time to tell you how wrong you were about it all I would. 

 

At least, at least the prequels had character development and an anti-hero epic, wtf does TFA and TLJ have? absolutely nothing going for it... I would lay out step by step how terrible TLJ truly was on a scale never before seen on screen but I have done this before in mafia and it really isn't worth my time. 

 

I would take Jar Jar all day everyday over the pathetic excuse for a movie that was TLJ

 

Ok I do have the time:

 

Why TLJ Sucks more than even the Prequels:

 

1. Zero Character Development - Evidenced especially in the Character Finn... in TFA Finn was a goofy Stormtrooper that had a struggle of conscience in not wanting to kill and thus turned away from the FO. He was not an exceptional pilot, not an exceptional soldier, was pretty ordinary in every way - and got his ass kicked by a regular stormtrooper in TFA. Then in TLJ he somehow has grown into a warrior who is able to defeat one of the best soldiers all while giving witty one liners like "chrome dome". What made the Original Trilogy so great was the Hero's Epic... watching farm boy Luke turn into a Jedi unafraid of facing Vader and Palpatine on their own Death Star... what turned Finn into a one man chrome dome wrecking crew? Who dafaq is snoke? Why is General Hux so lame? What is Phasma's Story and why does she give af? Purple haired lady - where did she come from why is she the best choice to be leader? etc etc etc

 

2. The underlying theme of the movie? Don't question authority - Evidenced by the purple haired lady and her "plan" to save all the Resistance from the Superior forces of the FO. This she refuses to share with their most senior pilot and war hero Poe Dameron. Why couldn't she share her stupid plan that made no sense with him? cause she didn't trust him but he should trust her implicitly - someone who has never been shown before should be trusted unquestioningly by the main hero of the Resistance like WTF? To enact her stupid plan at minimum dozens of resistance members had to have known it including every pilot of every ship that was in their resistance armada and yet it must be kept secret from Poe. Even when Poe feels compelled to mutiny to find out if they can save the last of the Resistance, still she won't tell him the lame ass plan.  

 

3. Gotcha! Gotcha! Gotcha!.... This movie is all about the Gotchas or maybe fans of this gross incompetence of film might say "subverting our expectations" :picard: How many twists can one movie have? Well for the folks that made TLJ the more the better apparently. 

Gotcha examples:

  •  Rey Finds Luke after all the struggle of the first movie to epically and ceremoniously give him his lightsaber back - Gotcha! - Luke doesn't give an eff and tosses it away like it's garbage
  • Tie Fighter Destroys the bridge of Leia's ship, She and the entire resistance command are sucked into space and Leia is effed - Gotcha! - Leia is really a force wielding space angle that is only mildly inconvenienced by getting sucked into space - didn't see that one coming you dumbass audience did you? 
  • Finn and Rose must leave Armada and find one man in the Galaxy that can break the Code, no other person is capable of disabling a hyperspace tracker except him - Gotcha! - Turns out a Random guy they get imprisoned with is capable of that as well, damn it's lucky there were 2 such Master Code Breakers at the same Casino what are the odds of that? Time to play some Craps. - But wait wait - Double Gotcha - it was a trap because somehow someone in the FO was able to predict this terrible plan and hire one of the only 2 Master Code Breakers in the galaxy to turn on them - Like the old saying goes when playing Craps always bet on black :blink: 
  • Who can forget the scene where Luke comes out to face the FO's army, standing so valiant and they blast the eff out of him and nothing, so Kylo goes into one of his patented Emo rages and destroys Luke in single combat - Gotcha! - It's Hologram Luke and you can't kill Hologram Luke you fool! - Double Gotcha  Luke still dies. 
  • From Sandy Hoth to "Meh Rey's parents weren't important actually after all the hype in the TFA" there are so many gotchas throughout the movie it's like an easter egg hunt if you ever want to waste 2 hours of your life going back to rewatching the movie. 

 

4. Changing the established physics within a science fiction - Why has no one ever thought to build ships before with hyper drives and use them as missiles before? Cause they didn't have purple hair, this can be the only logical reason from TLJ. But in reality the physics within the SW universe has long held about hyper space travel is that your not moving faster but rather opening into a pocket outside of the normal universe. This is why it is impressive when the Falcon did the Kessel Run in Under 12 Parsecs (not meaning it's going faster as TLJ would have us believe but rather it reduced the distance from point A to Kessel) Why spend Quadrillions of Space Credits on Death Stars? Just hyperspace ships into planets and each other that is all the tech that is truly needed. 

 

5. 12 of us survived!!! let's Party! - Gotta love how everything worked out in the end, how happy 

 

 

Wow, you're missing mafia.

 

I never thought anyone would waste their time defending Episodes 1&2, but you did, and somehow, actually made a go of it.

 I think you're cherry picking roles, (Fin, yet failing to pit his development against a comparable, Han) and ignoring the fact that you were probably seriously angered by TFM upon its release, especially if you're of the age I believe you are.

 

I agree that Episode 7&8 aren't what I hoped for or expected, and I am a bit bitter about that, but they are more watchable and far less childish and cheesy than the prequels despite their massive flaws and obvious failings. 

 

You take shots at TFA TLJ for selling lunch boxes, yet acknowledge the utter stupidity and uselessness of Jarjar in your spew. Anyways

 

In summary, I don't agree, but I don't think you're really wrong either. 

 

When comparing the two era installments, to me, it comes down to cringeworthy scenes/moments. IMO Episodes 1&2 had a much higher cringe per 60min ratio than Episodes 7&8.

 

 

Edited by luckylager
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luckylager Canucks Hall-of-Famer

luckylager

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Ceres said:

This was basically an allegory for what TLJ did to the story that led up to it. Once I saw that happen I knew it was not going to be good. 

I felt that too. Also, when Rey is looking down at the submerged X-wing and we somehow know Luke is gonna bitch out and not make Rey force it to dry land.

Utterly disappointing.

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Aladeen Canucks Hall-of-Famer

Aladeen

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, luckylager said:

Wow, you're missing mafia.

 

I never thought anyone would waste their time defending Episodes 1&2, but you did, and somehow, actually made a go of it.

 I think you're cherry picking roles, (Fin, yet failing to pit his development against a comparable, Han) and ignoring the fact that you were probably seriously angered by TFM upon its release, especially if you're of the age I believe you are.

 

I agree that Episode 7&8 aren't what I hoped for or expected, and I am a bit bitter about that, but they are more watchable and far less childish and cheesy than the prequels despite their massive flaws and obvious failings. 

 

You take shots at TFA TLJ for selling lunch boxes, yet acknowledge the utter stupidity and uselessness of Jarjar in your spew. Anyways

 

In summary, I don't agree, but I don't think you're not really wrong either. 

 

When comparing the two era installments, to me, it comes down to cringeworthy scenes/moments. IMO Episodes 1&2 had a much higher cringe per 60min ratio than Episodes 7&8.

 

I’m not saying the episodes 1-3 are good by any stretch and it’s obvious it was for kids but the reality is there that there was a progression of storyline if you read the original canon books the flow is there... there is continuity in the story if you suspend the focus on the cheesemuff acting and gimmick characters.

 

The special effects in the new trilogy are cool, I actually liked sitting in Dbox seats watching it in 3D and spending about $50 for the privilege but the reality is Disney tried to emulate the success they had with Marvel movies in a fictional universe that continuity is key and it just didn’t work. 
 

in marvel who cares if things don’t follow established physics, who cares if the avengers beat up someone without a compelling back story, it doesn’t matter because the audience can suspend story for action, but in an established SW universe it doesn’t make sense and that is the main reason the marvel formula didn’t work for SW.

 

When the creative direction was altered in the TLJ by throwing out all of Abrams plans it made for a movie that didn’t fit in with the overall story arc and whereas a terrible character like Jar Jar can be forgiven so long as the story progresses when the story continuity is broken all problems therein are amplified.

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luckylager Canucks Hall-of-Famer

luckylager

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Aladeen said:

I’m not saying the episodes 1-3 are good by any stretch and it’s obvious it was for kids but the reality is there that there was a progression of storyline if you read the original canon books the flow is there... there is continuity in the story if you suspend the focus on the cheesemuff acting and gimmick characters.

 

The special effects in the new trilogy are cool, I actually liked sitting in Dbox seats watching it in 3D and spending about $50 for the privilege but the reality is Disney tried to emulate the success they had with Marvel movies in a fictional universe that continuity is key and it just didn’t work. 
 

in marvel who cares if things don’t follow established physics, who cares if the avengers beat up someone without a compelling back story, it doesn’t matter because the audience can suspend story for action, but in an established SW universe it doesn’t make sense and that is the main reason the marvel formula didn’t work for SW.

 

When the creative direction was altered in the TLJ by throwing out all of Abrams plans it made for a movie that didn’t fit in with the overall story arc and whereas a terrible character like Jar Jar can be forgiven so long as the story progresses when the story continuity is broken all problems therein are amplified.

I feel the conflict in you.

Good

Feel the power of the darkside

 

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hoggers Canucks Regular

hoggers

Posted
Posted

The boku no losers academia resemblance with the Sith is ginormous. Even star wars had a better concept of heroes: Jedi are like monks who have a superior control of their instinct and are able to restrain from passions. If Izuku would have keep researching on heroes he could have accumulated a great amount of wisdom and he could have become a great strategist or ruler. Napoleone Bonaparte who is quoted in the anime never fought one of his battle, he lead his man from behind and he was able to win like no one before him. Instead Izuku weakness dragged him to wish for more power. He wanted to save others so desperately, beyond his capabilities, that his desire of force blinded him. Like a primordial and sexual instinct his legs detached from his brain and moved on their own, at one point he didn't even know why he was running, he just went straight for it; like an addict that can not wait to satisfy the needs of his body, not caring about the consequences. Not to talk about the great Sith lord All Evil. Jedy power is innate like quirks in the anime, instead All Evil strength comes from a dangerous and mysterious power that is passed down master to apprentice. Just like palpatine he get super hard every time his apprentice show submission and moves one step closer towards the force.

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