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thejazz97

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Everything posted by thejazz97

  1. I don't know if I have friends...

    1. Dr.Strangelove
    2. Odd.

      Odd.

      hate you so much

    3. Kazmanian Devil

      Kazmanian Devil

      Real friends, how many of us?

  2. There was once a priest who went to see the world after taking his oath. After many years of wandering, he finally arrived in a small village in the middle of nowhere. The people there believed in the same religion as he did, but they had no church; they had to go to the nearest one which was in a small town 25 km's from there. The priest took the initiative, asked the Church for support, and with the help of the local men they built their own temple. From there on, he was celebrating the Sunday masses, joining together men and women in Holy Matrimony, and saying prayers at the funerals. Many years passed by like that. At the end of an ordinary mass, in early spring, on a chilly Sunday morning he was just guiding the people out of the church, was about to close the gates when an unknown man stepped into the churchyard. With his dirty and torn clothes, he stood before the priest and said: Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was a good man, and even though he thought the request was a bit strange, he went back to the rectory, took out a lemon, cut it in half, took it back to the man and gave it to him, who looked back to the priest with gratitude. However, the priest was curious. He asked: Son, why do you need this half of a lemon? - with a fright on his face, and before the priest could have said a thing, he rushed out of the churchyard gate and took off. A week later, around the same time, when the priest was leaving the church, he found himself in front of the same man in the churchyard. The man said: Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was surprised by the appearance of the man and his strange request. Of course he was good, went back to the rectory, and brought the half lemon. Placed it in the stranger's hand and immediately he asked: Here it is, my dear son, but please tell me why do you need this half a lemon? - the man was obviously frightened and immediately ran away but the priest was not sluggish either and ran after him. He wasn't in a very good condition, he has never run so much and so fast before so he was out of breath by the end of the village, almost fainted. He thought the strange man might appear again next week, and it would be nice if he could keep up with him, so he spent his week working on his cardio. It turned out to be a good idea, because as he thought, the stranger entered the churchyard on Sunday. The priest didn't even wait for the request, he was good, and brought the half lemon. He received these words from the man: Thank you priest for being so good and giving me half a lemon. Don't mention it son, -said the priest- but please tell me, what do you need it for?! - by the time he finished his sentence the man was already running, but the priest was close behind. They were running for a while and the priest was starting to feel exhausted when they arrived at a wide and swift river. The stranger without thinking threw himself into the river and swam across the river and disappeared on the other side. The priest didn't follow because he couldn't swim. He was annoyed when he got home. He spent the next week learning to swim at the swimming pool in the small town 25 km's away. He was anxiously waiting for the next Sunday; now he was sure that the weird fellow would visit again. On Sunday, as he was closing the church, the gate creaked, and entered the man: Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was good, went back, put on his swimming trunks, his running shoes, grabbed half of the lemon and took it to the stranger: Here it is, my son, but please tell me already, why do you need it? - the guy was terrified, rushed out the gate with the priest following. Reached the river, swam across, the priest right behind him. He kept running on the other side of the river and the priest was still on his tail. They kept running until they got to a tall tree on the verge of a deep ravine. The man climbed the tree with the agility of a cat, the priest not knowing how to climb a tree, stood on the ground. He was cursing everything as he walked back home. The following week the villagers watched as the priest in the garden of the church climbs trees, jumping back and forth, and generally behaving very strangely. The priest didn't care, he was exercising obsessively, preparing himself for the meeting. On Sunday before the mass, he put on his trunks and running shoes under his cassock. In fact, he was good and put half a lemon in his pocket in advance. The mass finished much earlier than usually, and he emptied the church as soon as possible so he could warm up. In the same exact time the mass should have ended, the strange man entered the churchyard. Priest, please be good... - the priest was already handing him half of a lemon, and asked: Son, why do you need it for God's sake? - the man ran away terrified, the priest followed him. They ran to the river, swam across, ran to the tree, climbed up. The priest almost catched the stranger when he grabbed a vine and swung to the other side of the ravine. The priest was about to have a stroke, but then he saw another vine. Whoop, he grabbed it and swung across. There, however, he encountered an unexpected obstacle: it was a plane graveyard and the man closed himself in one of the wreckages. The priest was raging as he walked around the wreckage several times, but he found no entrance except for the sealed door on the side of the plane; he had to open it somehow. He was furious but he went home. He spent every day at the village's locksmith and learned every possible way of opening a lock. On Sunday he held the mass in his swimming trunks, running shoes, on his back in a waterproof backpack was a crowbar, a cutting torch, a wrench and a drill, then he stood in front of the church and waited for the man. He was there on time. Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! There you go, son - handing him the lemon, because he was good, but in the same time he grabbed the stranger's arm, pulled him close, and with obsession in his eyes, asked: But what do you need it for?! - panic came over the man as he made his escape from the priest's hands and ran away, but the priest was very close behind. Racing to the river they quickly got across, running up the tree almost breaking their necks, one after the other swung across the ravine, the man barely managed to close the door of the wreckege in the priest's face. Little did he know that the priest would not stop there, because he grabbed his backpack and started working on the lock with his tools. In less than an hour the heavy door creaked open. Inside, the stranger was shivering in horror, he was afraid of the priest's fierce and triumphant look. The priest slowly strode up to the man, crouched down, and very quietly, with a friendly smile on his face, gently asked: Son. You have been asking for half a lemon for the last few weeks. I'm very happy to give it to you, even in the future, I am only asking in return that you tell me: why do you need it? All right, priest ... - came the answer in a trembling tone - I will answer your question, but please, be good, and do not tell anyone. The priest was good, and never told anyone.
  3. When a buddy of yours gets into the Moose Jaw news for a vehicle fire http://www.mjtimes.sk.ca/News/Local/2016-05-11/article-4526210/Vehicle-towed-after-vehicle-fire/1

    1. Green Building

      Green Building

      I imagined the missing word from the home page view was "theft"

    2. Cramarossa

      Cramarossa

      That made it to the newspaper?? Must have been a slow day in Sask. Sorry about your buddy's car.

    3. Alflives

      Alflives

      I thought car, truck, and tractor fires happen a lot out there, especially in winter when the power is out.  Don't the locals resort to heating up the engines by building fires under them?  ^_^

  4. Nice! I haven't checked to see if earthworms have come out yet
  5. It's really nice. Kept raining today
  6. siREjlLKjdSZq.gif

    1. smithers joe

      smithers joe

      that looks like cdc after every move benning makes...

  7. For the first time since I've moved here, it's raining in Regina. Kinda reminds me of growing up in Vancouver...
  8. I know a girl who looks like a cross between Hailee Steinfeld and Morena Baccarin...

    1. Show previous comments  13 more
    2. Tortorella's Rant

      Tortorella's Rant

      no i havent &_&

    3. Tigs

      Tigs

      Saying bad things about a movie he hasn't seen. =/

       

      Torts =/

    4. soshified

      soshified

      well every person has their tastes. Some like RomComs, some like Horrors, some like Superheroes, etc.... while others don't lol

  9. How do you think the unthinkable? An itheberg
  10. One of the freakiest things I've ever seen in a movie is HAL singing Daisy. Fricks sakes

    1. Ghostsof1915

      Ghostsof1915

       

      Take a stress pill and think things over...

       

  11. That moment when you're driving  down the empty streets of Regina at 5 in the morning kickin a bangin hip hop playlist and some good ol K-Pop comes on

     

    Also, happy mothers' day!!

     

    1. Ghostsof1915

      Ghostsof1915

      What? Not Running back to Saskatoon???????

       

  12. For people turning the Fort Mac fires into a political issue (don't know if anyone is on here), please stop. Thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Ghostsof1915

      Ghostsof1915

      Actions speak louder than words. To all the firemen, and folks that are helping out, and lending a hand be it food, clothes, shelter, water, thank you.

       

      The politics will come later along with the insurance bills. 

    3. Mr.DirtyDangles

      Mr.DirtyDangles

      This will affect the province for years to come.   Must feel like ground zero in Fort Mac.  This is just brutal : (

    4. chon derry

      chon derry

      the same thing happened after the quebec ice storm in 98 after the feds stepped in to assist in getting the electrical grid up and running .  3 years earlier was the 2nd separation vote. idiots were saying let them all freeze.

  13.  

    Jori Lehtera - lol

  14. Contente Cinco de Mayo!! Go enjoy taco in a bag 

    1. Green Building

      Green Building

      Lunch margaritas that lead to after lunch margaritas. Taco would hit the spot ;)

    2. g_bassi13

      g_bassi13

      Yo como Taco Bell.

  15. Was just gonna post that haha He's a great guy.
  16. No. He signed an ELC. He's pretty much stuck in the CHL until he gets too old, makes the NHL, or both.
  17. Not a big fan of the City of Regina right now... $65 ticket it is. :/

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. smithers joe

      smithers joe

      they gave you a rough ride.

    3. chon derry

      chon derry

      i spent 4 days in van two weeks ago, tallied up my pay to park receipts 120 bucks, they get ya either way

    4. brilac

      brilac

      What were you ticketed for?

       

  18. Got a $100 ticket ($65 if I pay it in two weeks) for parking near a fire hydrant. After reading the city's bylaws, I think they may have charged me too much...

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. thejazz97

      thejazz97

      No, I work for the province. Maybe I'll try to use that as leverage :lol:

    3. Smashian Kassian

      Smashian Kassian

      I got one too last year in Surrey, it was in bushes and there was one of those electric boxes beside it, the back end of my truck was in line with it and I couldn't see it from the cab, I went out to get something from my truck a few hours later to find it wasn't there. I feel your pain lol

    4. Ghostsof1915

      Ghostsof1915

      I got a parking ticket in Vancouver on W.7th, a few years ago and they towed my car. $60 but I had to walk across the bridge to pick it up. 

  19. Well, I think the last major league sporting event I went to was a Canucks game, so...
  20. I love power outages at work.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. nux4lyfe

      nux4lyfe

      I am your boss, now sweep the floor until the power comes back on..get on it!

    3. Pears

      Pears

      They're pretty fun when you're a dishwasher on a Friday night. 

    4. Ghostsof1915

      Ghostsof1915

      Hey dishwasher, here's some Sunlight, a kerosene lantern, scubbies and garden hose, and a dryer rack. Get busy! 

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