Jump to content
The Official Site of the Vancouver Canucks
Canucks Community

Teen Icarus

Members
  • Posts

    417
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Teen Icarus

  1. Wow...you're one of the first members of CDC.

  2. Wow...and I thought Shawn Rocker had the worst rep.
  3. Here's two Leafs Jokes:

  4. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

  5. A Toronto Maple Leafs fan, a Montreal Canadiens fan and a Boston Bruins fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze.

  6. However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

  7. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

  8. The Boston Bruins fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Boston Bruins fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

  9. The Toronto Maple Leafs fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and after watching the scene, said, "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Leafs fan crying.

  10. The Canadiens fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your city has some of the best and most loyal hockey fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

  11. "Thank you, your most Royal highness," the Canadiens fan replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

  12. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asked.

    "Tie the Leafs fan to my back."

  13. One day, Satan was out for a walk through Hell, making sure things were running smoothly. When he got to the Lake of Fire, he saw a man sitting by the lake, relaxing in a lawn chair, and not sweating or looking uncomfortable at all. Perplexed, Satan approached the man and asked:

  14. "Young man, are you not hot or bothered by this heat?" The man replied, "Oh no, not at all. I lived in downtown Toronto and this weather is just like a typical July day in the city.

  15. Satan thought that this was not a good sign, so he rushed back to his office and turned up the heat in Hell another 100 degrees. Satisfied with himself, he again returned to the Lake of Fire to check on the young man.

  16. "Are you hot and uncomfortable yet?"

    The young man looked up and said, "No, the temperature is just like a hot August day in Toronto. I'm coping it just fine."

  17. When he got there, the man was showing a few beads of sweat, but that was all. Again Satan asked the Toronto native,

  18. Satan decided that he had to do something drastic to make this man's stay in Hell unpleasant. He went back to his office, turned the heat all the way down, and then turned up the air

  19. conditioning. The temperature in Hell quickly dropped well below zero. As he approached the Lake of Fire, he noticed that it was now frozen over. He also saw the young man jumping up and down wildly, waving his arms and yelling into the air.

  20. "This looks promising!" thought Satan. Coming closer, he finally made out what the man was shouting:

    "The Leafs have won the Stanley Cup! The Leafs have won the Stanley Cup!"

  21. *sighs* As soon as you and Wetcoaster left, Shawn Rocker and Penalty Kill arrived. Please come back.

  22. Auger also was the ref who disallowed the goal by Brad May on November 18th. That goal would have resulted in being the game tieing goal.
×
×
  • Create New...