I hate myself & want to die.
I have kids, and as such will never, ever, take my own life such that they may ever think that it was something they did, or didn't do, or that I didn't love them, or that anyone I love and care about wouldn't also have the same queries or doubt of themselves.
Nonetheless, I'd like to leave. Whenever I wake up coughing my lungs out, I hope the truth is waiting for me.