I'm applying in the wide open.
I should be the GM of Seattle because:
- I'm the newest GM in the league. I have almost no experience but I love to pretend I have a solid direction that is anything other than perpetually down, lower and lower in the standings. Forever.
- FLA was in bad shape when I was hired, and I've managed to make them an even worse team in one short month! Way way worse in fact! Truth be told I'm actively driving them into the ground at high speed, like a crashing 737max I am willing to continue on this destructive path until none of the players over 25 are left.
I got rid of that little puke in Calgary and some other dudes on different teams, but still ended up with an 18yr old who looks 40 but plays like he's 15 and a dude whose name rhymes with dong, but he fits the age gap... It's really weird, all these holes, gaps, Springs, dongs and little flames. Pervy in fact.
- The future of my club is completely up in the air. My defense is garbage, I have two prospect defenders + Carlo as the only defenseman I care about moving forward, because I expect someone to pick up whoever that guy is that plays for Boston, and maybe that old Swede in Zona. Theres also some young guy who thought he was a big deal in college, but it turns out he's just a meat cutter at heart.
So there it is. Welcome me, the new GM of the smokin kracken.