LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NAME IS TWILIGHT SPARKLE, AND I AM THE ADVOCATE FOR THE REIGNING, DEFENDING, UNDISPUTED CHAMPION, BROCK BOESER.
Now let's get down to business, shall we? My client has authorized me to let you know a secret that I don't even think the NHL wants revealed tonight, which is, ladies and gentlemen, The Buffalo Sabres... are not here today.
Aw, don't get me wrong. The Sabres would be here if The Sabres could be here, but The Sabres can't be here because The Buffalo Sabres can't physically appear, and that's all thanks to my client, BROOOOOCK BOESER!