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Gretzky's Mullet

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damn the Yankees

With the Yankees 0-1 to start the season, John Pazzari, a plumber, was confused after the loss.

"Wait. If they lost, how are they going to go 162-0?" he said. "I'm no math wizard, but I'm pretty sure it's almost close to impossible to go undefeated after losing a couple of games."

Teixeira, who was projected to hit 162 home runs this season by most intelligent Yankee fans, also met with the press after the game.

"I blame my wife," Teixeira said, who went 0-for-4 on the day. "If it wasn't for her, I'd be a Red Sox and bashing home runs and drinking whiskey before games. What the hell is so great about New York?"

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You get tickets for the Mariners this year Johnny? Trying to decide when to go down and see KGJ.

But I doubt Jarrod Washburn will be able to maintain his current pace of 0.00 ERA, 8 IP/game, 0.75 WHIP. Maybe Carlos Silva's arm will fall off and he'll be forced into retirement or something. Or some Venezuelan fans can run him out of town after his dismal performance against Korea in the WBC.

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Some kind of crazy day in baseball yesterday:

The Mets open up their new stadium with a loss, and the first guy ever to hit there leads off the game with a jack.

Jermaine Dye and Paul Konerko each hit their 300th home runs of their career. Back to back.

The O-Dogg (Orlando Hudson) becomes the first Dodger to ever hit for the cycle at Dodger Stadium. The last guy to hit for the cycle at Dodger Stadium (a member of the visiting Angels at the time), was Jim Fregosi 45 years ago, and he happened to be at the game 10 rows behind home plate yesterday.

But what I thought was really crazy was this. Imagine you're the Yankees, and you're spending more on your pitching staff than 5 or 6 major league teams are spending on their entire rosters. You're losing by a boatload of runs on the road late in the game. Your starter got 3 outs, and gave up 8 earned runs. You're running out of pitchers, and don't want to use Mariano Rivera in this situation. So why not turn to first baseman Nick Swisher. And not only does he come in, but he throws up the best inning of any of your pitchers in the game so far, and strikes out as many batters (1) as your starting pitcher (Chien Ming Wang) did. When do you think was the last time the same guy led the league in OPS (which Swisher does) and ERA (tied for 1st with 0.00 obviously) at the same time?

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